Articles Archive for February 2009
Love hurts »
ReplyPlease don’t do this, not today.I walked into the house, hoping I would not see any of my brothers. Just as I was about to get into my room.Marzouq: baby sis?Lulu: Yes honey?Marzouq: Wainch ilyoum?Lulu: I had to work lateMarzouq: you look exhaust…
Love hurts »
ReplyPlease don’t do this, not today.I walked into the house, hoping I would not see any of my brothers. Just as I was about to get into my room.Marzouq: baby sis?Lulu: Yes honey?Marzouq: Wainch ilyoum?Lulu: I had to work lateMarzouq: you look exhaust…
Everything Else »
I took a shuddering breath; I couldn’t go on crying forever, though I felt as if I wanted to. But what was the point? I’d ruined my life. I’d hurt myself and the man I love.
After what seemed like hours of crying I decided to go to the bathroom and clean up my face. I gathered my strength and dragged myself to the bathroom.
I couldn’t help starting crying again when I looked at myself in the mirror. My face was a ruin; my eyes were red and minuscule in the puff pastry around them. My nose, especially around the nostrils was bloody red. I was ugly! I splashed my face with cold water which felt so good on my burning face; I splashed it one more time and shuddered. My eyes filled with tears when I looked at my reflection again. I knew that this breakdown wasn’t just about Terki. I cried because I hurt him and because I myself was hurt, I cried for my past, I cried for getting physically hurt by fahad, I cried for not having a decent chance to love Terki; the guy who made me feel the rollercoaster of emotions I had always longed for.
I was about to start crying again when my phone rang. I ran out of the bathroom quickly, hoping it would be Terki regretting what he had said to me, hoping that he wanted to get me back before losing me for good. I began frantically searching through my purse, the phone was still ringing. Where the hell is it? Where the hell is it?!!
When I finally found it, my face fell with disappointment and shock. It was fahad calling.
I picked up without hesitation, I just couldn’t let that bastard get away with what he had done. It was revenge time. ” aloo” I began.
” jana, ma9adeg!” he said.
“shoof fahad ana engaged now okay?!!! malek 7ag etdeg 3ley o et2atheny!! Enta 9ij 7aqeer!! How can you live with yourself?! WAI3 YOU’RE DISCUSTING!! I never loved you, being with you was difficult and DISCUSTING!! I hate you!!!! I hate youuuuuu go to hell!! O dawerlek w7da min esheware3, MABY ASHOF REG3AT WAYHEK HERE FAHEM?!!!” I knew it was harsh but I really needed to let go of my anger.
Silence.
” bye Fahad” I was about to hang up when he spoke.
” jana?” he said.
“WHAT?”
” im sorry for everything, good luck o allah ewafgech, bye” and with that he hung up.
I could see Terki while I showered, I could see him all miserable and needing me, I scrubbed my body and soul with the loofa until it ached. I didn’t want to give up on him, not yet at least. I wouldn’t live with the fact that I didn’t try to get him back, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. ” 9aba7 el5air 7abebi:)* I sent him. To my utter disappointment, he didn’t reply me back. But I didn’t give up, maybe he was still asleep. I had breakfast with mother, changed my clothes watched TV with my brothers, and I still hadn’t received a single message from him. * eshfeek ete’3ala?;p* I sent again. It had been like this for the past two days I sent him lots of messages yet he hadn’t replied. It was utterly frustrating, but I didn’t lose hope. One day I decided to call him and see what he was doing. He called me after I gave him two missed calls. ” Terkii” I stretched his name in a dala3 way. He sighed. ” jana are you okay ? me7taja shay?” he almost whispered. ” I need you Terki, I love you..” ” jana please don’t make this harder than it already is” ” wainek?!” I said ignoring what he just said to me. ” at the hospital” ” why??! Whats wrong?!” I panicked. ” NOTHING’S wrong, im just doing my regular checkups” he said. ” which hospital?!” ” jana..” ” hadi’s hospital, now can we please hang up l2na this isn’t making anything better” ” im coming” I said and hung up on him. I went to hadi’s hospital to see him, I needed to talk to him as soon as possible, I needed to stop this madness, I will get married to him, and I will get married to him next week. He was sitting on the patient’s bed and a nurse was injecting him with a large needle which made me dizzy by looking at it alone. ” eshga3da tsaween hnyy??” he muttered angrily. ” I need to talk to you, Terki you are making a big BIG mistake , 9adegny” I struggled with words. ” jana I’ve made my mind, laish et7ebeen et9a3been el omoor 3ley o 3laich?? Laish ya3ny?!! E7na mu awwal nas enfel “he sounded irritated. ” MABY Terki maby!! We are meant to be together! Enta eshfeek??!!! Ya3ny ana eshbagool 7ag omy o ennas?!! Eshbagolohom!! Terki this isn’t some boyfriend-girlfriend crap, WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!!” I yelled. Terki asked the nurse who was burning holes in me by now, to leave. He let a big sigh ” jana we are NOT together anymore, 5ala9 you need to let go 7abebti, please?” he said softly. I held his hand tightly ” ma3aref o maby! Terki im tired of loosing you, I lost you once and it was unbearable! , maby, it feels like my soul being ripped out of me ” I held his hand even tighter ” maby” ” ro7ay el bait jana, you need some rest , roo7ay” he said. His eyes were filled with sorrow. ” maby!” I cried. ” please don’t do this to me, please” I hugged him hard like a helpless child struggling to be in her father’s safe embrace. He pulled me away ” 5ALA9 ROO7AY!! Mabeech jana 5ala9! Tabeen tesme3eny agool chethy ya3ny??!! MABEECH, I don’t want you, I don’t want to marry you” he yelled. His words were like arrows penetrating my poor heart. I felt so sorry for my heart that I wanted to give it a hug and take all the pain away from it. I ran my fingers over his beautiful face gently. at least I tried.
It started in a hospital and ended in a hospital.
I woke up the next day to the morning light edging underneath my half closed shutter. Something was different. I woke up today with something I didn’t have yesterday, I woke up today with hope.
Everything Else »
**For this post, I’ve decided to put up a list of all the previous lessons and hopefully, several new lessons. I actually am very fond of these lessons. Rereading them allows me to further understand them. I hope they have the same effect on you. I …
Love hurts »
3bdullah: ya 3my ilnas edigoun, e6igoun il bab egoloun shay mo bs edar3moun!I pushed my face deep into 3bdullah’s chest. I was flushed, ruddy, burning. I could not look at him, I needed to go.3bdullah sensed my discomfort and was trying to ditch 3mr….
Love hurts »
3bdullah: ya 3my ilnas edigoun, e6igoun il bab egoloun shay mo bs edar3moun!I pushed my face deep into 3bdullah’s chest. I was flushed, ruddy, burning. I could not look at him, I needed to go.3bdullah sensed my discomfort and was trying to ditch 3mr….
fun, general »
Today I was heading 2 the KOC hospital 2 visit a friend,and it is located in Ahmadi as u know.The minute I entered the area, my jaw dropped down :-Oit was like driving in the WONDER LAND !seriously !!I mean everything was sparkling and glowing ;and I m…
Everything Else »
This, so far, has been one of these days when one weird thing comes after the other…
Suddenly in the last hour of work i have been asked to do sooo much stuff… and do it today… ok so far not so weird…
By the time i get off work, i am exhausted, Bu Totee calls and [...]
Shhh...I wont tell »
How can he just ask me that? Shouldn’t he wait until I am ready to say it? laish mista3yal? Aw is part of his routine?Bader: hmmI just looked at him and smiled.Bader: Mat7ebny?Me: BadooryBader: 3yonaMe: Laish mista3yal 3la hal kilma?Bader: hmmI just b…
Everything Else »
laqad 7adadto maw3eda zefafyyy:D;p;p!!! alf e9alat welsalam 3leeeek ya 7abeeeb allaaaaaah mu7ammad golololoooooooosh!!!
7addy meshta6a 3la me5tar3a 3la madry shlon;\ , yabela lotsa energyyyyyyyy!
a7eb song hab el sa3ad! 9ij enha qadeema bas it gives me goosebumps and it makes me cry:’( especially lmma awal ma el3aroos edesh;p
baroo7 al othman bridal store ely bl bahrain 7aseta eshaweg!
so2al! shlon el 3aroos tamshy 3ady lel kosha o mat6e7?;\!! IM WORRIED! o shlon trakez 3la el camera o her bouquet o smiling o looking gourgeous o WALKING: all at the same time!
can I wear a short dress?;\!! *puppy eyes*
I’d like to announce that my friend jana’s story will be finishing soon:) , o enshallah e3jebatkom;**
ana agool etha el me3res mayaby yalbes dishdasha 5al yeg3ad ebait’hom wayed a7sala;\! *tuxedo? wain ga3deen american wedding:@??!!!*
im not a big fan of the whole bride’s dance thing, lo amoot ma arge9 eb3ersy;\! *though feh 3aroosat:P ehablon wohma yarge9on!*
ashwa eny tall y3ny I dont have to wear HIGH heels to my wedding;\! wela chan shemasheena lel kosha:\!
I dont like when el ahal eyebon their kids to weddings o yeg3edon yam el 3aroos;\!
I’ll go cut my hair elyoum, bas madry shloun age9a;\, its long le thahry o straight I KNOW 7ADA BORING!, any ideas?!
a9ba’3a wela mala da3y? its light brown now.
hmmm what else what else….eee I’ll start my new job soon:D
''3bar »
Just because it is doesn’t mean it should be.The rush of emotions had her reminscing; remembering what she had done to him before…————————————————-She had woken up that day with a hollow feeling in her stomach. Dread. …
''3bar »
Just because it is doesn’t mean it should be.The rush of emotions had her reminscing; remembering what she had done to him before…————————————————-She had woken up that day with a hollow feeling in her stomach. Dread. …
Shhh...I wont tell »
Open up your heart what do you feel, open up your heart what do you feel, its real. The big bang may be a million years away, but I can’t think of a better time to say, World, hold on, instead of messing with our future, open up inside. World, hold o…
