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Articles Archive for March 2009

bury, dead, drugs, joint, murder »

[31 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Just Like Me – Part Eight | 0 views]

Note: I’m starting to hate my story and my writing and college is sucking up all my energy. Ok, that was a lie. I would just rather do my nails as I watch America’s Next Top Model cycle 12 than write. Sorry! This story is coming to end soon s…

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[31 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on A Poem : It Is Her | 0 views]

I’d like to dedicate this post with a poem I wrote for my grandmother , who passed away on the 28th of January 2008 . I miss you both . Allah yer7mich oo Ya’3mid rou7ich il janna ya yuma …I love you.Time flies by in the blink of an eyeWords go un-sa…

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[31 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Ok Ok !! | 25 views]

OK !
I’m not going to stop with the other story. I will continue them both. Everyday a new post from each.

Im so sorry Wallah wa3ad mini i will continue. But for those of you who didnt get to read the whole thing, ask me what you wanna know cause I will start from where I left off.

Wallah y7belkom Im so sorry.. la tz3aloo mini plz. Wallah cuase i thought the story became boring for u guys so i decided to change. But 5ala9 2 stories.

I love u all walla ma twa8a3t kitha :**

I will continue!!

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[30 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Dear Readers, | 0 views]

Dear Readers,I miss you all alot. Im sorry for not posting in a long time!! But ive been super super busy these days!!Promise i will write a v.long post tomm!Love you all.HUGS And kisses to you all.

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[30 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Picking Up The Pieces (4) | 0 views]

You guys :( I’m not getting the feedback I used to get 7ag the lostb2amreeka story w im starting to think i suck w u all were just interested in the fact tht its in america w thts why everyone was reading? If it sucks golooli ill stop wasting my time n…

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[29 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on After those Beeps.. pt 15 | 0 views]

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[27 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on part 35 dedicated to SlouchyPants ;* my new first hehe | 0 views]

NOUFFive minutes later.. I paced around the room, waiting.I was so nervous…. what was I going to say?10 minutes later….where is he?18 minutes later…. ati9il 3alai?19 minutes later…*Dialing F’s #*”Aloo?””Fahad, wainiiik? Your house isn’t that fa…

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[26 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on hope pt.17 | 0 views]

AAAH should i pick up..la2na he seemed angry at me :s aaah stupid stupid jawa ! shlone itgouleen chithe jidam u5oo !! ‘3aba2ee mo 6abee3y..me: a-alooaziz: jawa?me: um..hala aziz..tara..im sor..aziz: la la 3adi i understand !! bs joj kilish ma kan la da…

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[24 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on After those Beeps.. pt 14 | 0 views]

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[23 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on My Diary (20) | 0 views]

A week passed and Tahani still hauted Maya in her dreams.. she still had nightmares about her trying to break them up…..Every 5 minutes Maya would look at her cartier ring with a smile on her face… and daydream about her future with 5aled…Her par…

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[23 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Picking Up The Pieces (3) | 0 views]

“inta erfeej u5uy…? Ummm, t3arf wa7ed isma Ri’6a Al-Flani?” I asked, knowing the answer to that already.”ahhaa… fehamt… entay e5ta?””ee..” I giggled, “what are the odds, eh?””ee wallah… i’m supposed to keep a look out for you, is it the first t…

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[22 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on 30: Undeniable Truths Hurt | 0 views]

It has come to my attention that some people (especially Jam3iya) are still za3laneen 3alay fa gelt ba7e6likom this short post 3ashan aratheeekom…did it work?!

Zeina didn’t know how long she had been in the balcony but the only thing that brought her back to reality was the clicking of the front door as it shut behind Manaf. She froze not knowing what to do, the news she had received a while ago still hadn’t registered with her and she still hadn’t thought of what to do or what to say to him.

“Zeina?” Manaf’s voice called out to her from the bedroom where he had gone to look for her. Zeina emerged from the balcony still in her pajamas, her hair a mess and looked at her husband. His tall stature, his broad chest, his much shorter hair…she stared at his eyes trying to look for the man she once knew. The same man that had swept her off of her feet that day at the university when she had accidently stumbled upon him. The same man that held her hand while they dropped from the highest point Zeina had ever been on. He didn’t seem to be there.

Replacing him was a man with dark circles under his eyes that Zeina had thought once to be from all the work but wasn’t sure anymore. The new man in front of Zeina looked over her very much unlike the old one, it was as if he acknowledged her body and face in front of him but didn’t stare too long at it enough to let them register in his mind. He swept through her and her words quite often now and Zeina was beginning to understand why. Her husband, her Manaf, had a secret; one that was bound to reveal itself if he looked at her for too long, if he hugged her too tightly, if he spoke to hear more regularly.

Manaf was pushing himself away from her in order to hide.

“Ah there you are” Manaf said finally noticing her walking in from the balcony, “fakartay sheno tabeen ghada?” He asked flipping through papers in his hand a wrinkle forming on his forehead. The same wrinkle Zeina had seen a million times since she had arrived in New York but had always blamed on work. Zeina didn’t speak as she stood there staring at him wondering what the right words to say were.

“Shfeech?” Manaf asked putting down the papers and staring at her with worry in his eyes. Tears formed at the corners of Zeina’s eyes but she held them back.

“Tell me.” She whispered.

Manaf’s face fell as he took in the seriousness of Zeina’s expression; he knew she was talking about something solemn.

“Tell you what?” He tried feebly, still holding on to the glimmer of hope that Zeina hadn’t found out.

“…What the doctor said” She continued. It was here that Manaf’s gaze fell to the floor and for the next several minutes refused to look up. Zeina took a step forward and stood inches from his face.

“Manaf…look at me! And tell me!” She snapped at him her voice refusing to quiver.

“Shlon 3araftay?” He asked her.

“Not by you…”

Manaf continued to be quiet for a few seconds before he gave Zeina his back and walked into the bedroom. Dumbfounded Zeina froze in her spot not knowing if she should follow him or not. Finally her feet began to work and they made their way into the bedroom but Manaf wasn’t there; looking around she heard the sound of the showerhead in the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and waited for him, a sea of emotions crashing inside of her. She still hadn’t managed to distinguish what the strongest emotion inside of her was. Was it anger? Hurt? Or was it mind blowing, earth shattering fear?

Was she going to be left alone, without Manaf? A world with a crabby, stressed, busy Manaf was one that was a million times better than one without him completely. It was a thought she was not willing to explore just yet because she knew that once she began to consider this world, she would enter a dark abyss that she was not likely to ever escape.

Minutes later Manaf came out of the bathroom and slightly taken aback by Zeina’s position sitting firmly and stubbornly in front of him, he froze.

“Meta kent nawi etgooly?” She whispered.

“I just found out Zeina” He replied.

“Shlon ya3ni? Eshdarak? Shlon mata7acha?!” Her voice began to rise uncontrollably. Manaf walked towards her and sat down next to her on the bed and for the first time in weeks stared right at her and held her gaze unwaveringly.

“I couldn’t tell you” He whispered still not looking away.

“What? Why?” Her strong calm voice began quivering as the tears that would undoubtedly make their way began to form behind her eyes.

“Shagoolich? Khalaitich etwagfeen derastich, sa7abtich min ahalich, ga6aitich ib deera ibroo7ich, majabaltich wela 7atan shift ishlonich feeha, o akher shay ayeech wagoolich I might be dying o because of me ra7 et9eereen a widow?!”

“DON’T SAY THAT” Zeina screamed the tears, this time of anger, flowed freely… “you can’t say that!” She whimpered grabbing his arm.

“Zeina 7abeebti…” he began to speak then stopped and looked down, taking her hands off of his arm and kissing them gently. He then looked back up for a brief second, enough for Zeina to see the tears forming inside his eyes, then got up and in two swift strides walked out of the bedroom and into the living room. Zeina marched after him violently wiping the tears that were pouring across her face. She caught up with Manaf on the balcony and stared at him as he gave her his back.

“Manaf it’s not that bad 9a7? People get cured all the time…a9lan 9ar shay 3adi…we shouldn’t even worry” Zeina rambled half to fill the silence and the other half to convince herself.

“You’re right. Eli Allah katba be9eer Zeina whether I’m sick or not..” He turned around, the tears now gone from his eyes. He walked up to Zeina and grabbed her firmly from her face, “Zayoon, I am so sorry you had to deal with this o inich you got stuck with insan mithli ana…bes atkhayal il ta3ab ili I already put you through at the possibility of putting you through more and it kills me wala!”

Suddenly all the tears that had been forming in Zeina’s eyes disappeared as a wave of anger washed over her, “enta ma geltli 3ashan 3abalik I can’t handle it?” She said slowly, “3abalik when I find out banhar o babchi o ra7 at3ab?” Her voice slowly began to rise, “la, don’t you dare let me take the easy way out. Ra7 etwareeni every single test you did o ra7 aroo7 ma3ak every single appointment you have o you’re going to fight this, because qa9bin 3alaik you get better! Fahem?!” Her voice had risen to screams at the end of her sentence and she realized that she was holding on to Manaf with all of her strength.

“Enshallah” Manaf whispered before kissing her forehead.

He led Zeina inside and sat her down on the couch before going into the bedroom and coming back out with a stack of folders and envelopes.

“f7oo9atik?” Zeina asked quietly, her heart beating severely.

Manaf nodded and sat down next to her extending his arm towards her. Just as Zeina grasped the folders and pulled them into her lap Manaf’s hand touched hers and she looked up.

“Zayoon. Please help me” He whispered.

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[22 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on and that is what friends are for..!! | 0 views]

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[22 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Dimple | 0 views]

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[22 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on It’s ok babe, I’m here for you if u needed anything..!! | 0 views]

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[22 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on 20 | 0 views]

It’s been three weeks.. Me and my family were doing great.. there was still this void.. I felt lost.. I was lying on my bed when my mum came in .. Mama: mama shfeech mu 3ala ba3thich? Sara: mafeeny shay yuma shfeech? Mama: madre a7isich ib 3alam thany …

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[21 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on 7aflat Rashid Il Majid | 0 views]

Il laila il 7aflaaaaaa!!! wa a5eeran!!!7addiii 7adii mistansa bas lail7een ma 6ila3t!!! ;/As soon as I post this, ba6la3….Bas b’3ait agoolookum 3ashan I’m soo looking forward to it…Oo ba3ad kint bagoolookum ineee 7adii istnast ib the other two 7afl…

arrest, hash, jail, joint »

[21 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Just Like Me – Part Seven | 0 views]

Note: sorry, no internet :) [

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[21 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Picking Up The Pieces (2) | 0 views]

Different leagues i love you more ;* w love your story!!! *sigh*________________________________________Incoming callMahooytyy-Pooh;*If I answered her call I knew I would definately mention 7amad. Whether I want to or not is not related. I have just ne…

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[21 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on The thin lines of my day.. | 0 views]

emotions, family, LOVE »

[21 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on To My Rock | 0 views]

-Thank you for being there when no body was. -Thank you for putting up with me and my siblings all these years. -Thank you for believing in me, when no body did. -Thank you for lifting me up, when life let me down. -Thank you for picking up the pieces …

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[20 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on 29: New York, New York! | 0 views]

Awal shay i’m REALLY sorry for not updating in a long time, wayed minkom waited so patiently for me and I really appreciate it. I’ve had a long month with loads of stuff to do mixed with severe writers block. I hope you enjoy the new post o enshallah ma7ad feekom za3lan wayed lol ;p


Zeina smiled politely at the doorman as she followed Manaf into their apartment building; she took in the unfamiliar furniture and all the colors of the walls; Manaf greeted a man at the front desk and took some keys from him before he leaned back and put his arms around Zeina.

He led her to a set of elevators where once on, he pressed the button for 23 and tightened his grip on her waist. Zeina hadn’t said a word to him since landing in New York, she was too busy trying to comprehend the idea that she was coming to live and not to visit. She was also quiet for fear that if she opened her mouth words of how much she already missed her mother would pour out followed undoubtedly by a river of tears.

The elevator doors opened up and Manaf half dragged Zeina out into the hallway and towards an apartment door that had the numbers 1204 in gold lettering in the middle. He pushed the keys in and slid the door open for her, “welcome home 7abeebti” he whispered waiting for her to walk in. Zeina took a hesitant step inside and began reviewing the room in front of her; it was a small living room, to her side was a small kitchen and a large hallway appeared to her left. Following it, Zeina found herself standing at the door of the main and only bedroom.

“Ta3alay shofay il view” Manaf’s voice interrupted her thoughts and she made her way back to the living room. Once outside with Manaf, she looked the city lights that were lighting up the dark skies and she found herself breathless.

“Bard..” She giggled snuggling up to him.

“Ee 3abalich ga3da bilk wait intay?” He teased her rubbing her arms with his hands to warm her up.

“We should unpack..” She told him, still unable to remove her eyes from the view.

“Ne6reeni..!” he joked, not budging and tightening his grip on her so that she too could not budge.

“Meta your first day?” Zeina asked him pulling him back inside from the cold breeze, and throwing herself on the couch.

“Bacher I go in 3ashan they show me around..”

“waaay .. wana shasawii ihnee ibroo7i?” She whined

“You shop?” He raised an eyebrow at her reaching into his pocket and taking out a credit card and waving it in front of her.

“Laa mu min9ijik!” Zeina laughed reaching in to grab it

“Kelshay be7dooda, you’ve heard that saying right 3omri?” He smiled at her as she plucked the card from his fingers.

“Nope, never. What does that mean?” She asked innocently. His smile was immediately wiped off of his face as she got up and skipped to their bedroom, leaving him to mentally calculate the amount of debt his new wife was most likely going to put him in.

That night Zeina slept soundly as she thought of the months to come that would be spent alone with Manaf and the hundreds of clothing stores around the states and when she awoke the next day she was saddened to see that her husband had already left for work. She grabbed her mobile and flipped through the text messages she had received over the night; one of them was from Manaf: 9aba7 el khair 3omri, didn’t want to wake you…I’m on my way to work see you at five! Love you.

FIVE?! Zeina wanted to scream as she remembered that working hours in the states weren’t like Kuwait… 2 o’clock in the afternoon was barely mid-workday for them over here, while in Kuwait it was almost after-hours! Realizing she had another six hours to waste before Manaf would be home, she began taking her time getting ready before hitting the Manhattan streets.

Zeina realized as the hours passed slowly that if she was to spend every day wandering the streets alone then the upcoming six months were going to be the longest of her life and after the third hour of aimless wandering she began fighting the urge to call her mother and burst into tears. Manaf had only managed to call her for a few minutes to check on her before she overheard some guys calling him into a meeting and he hurried off the phone. She knew she couldn’t tell him about how hard her day has been because he hardly needed the pressure right now.

Eventually, like a lifetime later, five o’clock loomed in and Zeina hurriedly got into a cab and made her way back to the apartment building, or what she should start calling home. She was barely out of her outfit and into her casual home attire before Manaf’s key was heard at the front door.

“Manooof!” Zeina squealed rushing up to him and hugging him.

“7abeeebti entay…hi!” He chuckled, giving her a kiss on her head, before making his way to the bedroom…”how was your day?”

“Not important! How was yours? Do you like your job? Are the people nice? Are they overworking you?”

“Shway shway …! Kelshay tamam, lots of work, bes inshallah it won’t be a problem” He smiled at her untying his tie and pulling it over his head. “Ta3baaaan” He muttered throwing himself on the bed.

“Aww..7ayati! Did you eat? Want me to make you something?” She offered sitting down beside him.

“La mashkoora, I ate at the office..bes abi I lie down shwaya” He began taking off his shoes and made his way to the bathroom to wash up. Zeina left him to it and went to the living room to flip through the television while he changed. Twenty minutes later she realized that he had not joined her and so she went looking for him, only to find him passed out asleep on the bed. Feeling sorry for him, and a little lonely, she turned off the lights and went back to watching TV alone.

The rest of the week went pretty much the same way; Manaf would leave for work before she woke up, and come back too exhausted to even mutter a sentence before passing out. He’d wake up early into the night and finish up some work, but only after he gave an hour of his time listening to Zeina’s day, which consisted of nothing but shopping since she had nothing else to do. She vowed to not sound whiney and dependant and that she would give herself time to make friends and get herself involved with different things to preoccupy her time and so she decided to avoid telling Manaf just how unhappy she had been their first week there.

“Zeina mama it’s only been a month…ne6ray 3alaih 7abeebti, akeed karfeena bil dawam o ta3ban!” Zeina’s mother spoke calmly onto the phone. A month had passed since they had first gotten to New York and Zeina had finally cracked and broke down, telling her mother everything.

“La mama matadreen, metghayer, 9ayer 3a9abi o mala khilgy o maykalemni kelish” Zeina choked onto the phone, she felt guilty at the pit of her stomach knowing that she was causing her mother pain by letting her hear her crying so uncontrollably. “9ar ma3inda ila ygooli entay matadree eshkither ana 3alay thaq6…o etha 9ar 3inda break law yoom, mayabi esawii shay bes yabi inam o ejabel il tv wela 7atan yfaker ina ana maqmoota o ma a6la3 min il sheqa wayed!”

“7abeebti calm down…intay al7ean met’thayga o eb3eeda 3an deertich o ahalich fa you feel alone…” Her mother began attempting to calm her down with her words of wisdom but she was interrupted by the front door slamming shut. Manaf had come home unexpectedly early. “akalmich mama” Zeina whispered into the phone as she hid her tear streaked face from him. He had not yet seen the tears she had shed during the month and she didn’t know what his reaction would be like.

“Eshfeech?” He asked not coming any closer. His face was tired and impatient and Zeina didn’t feel like hearing words that would hurt her from him.

“Wela shay…kent ga3da akalem omy” She muttered lowering her gaze in an attempt to avoid his eyes.

“Enzain.” He muttered and walked into the room. His indifference sent another trail of tears down her cheeks as she stepped out to the balcony to wipe them off. Just like every other day, Manaf went straight to bed after work and Zeina was left to watch TV by herself. Deciding not to sulk alone at the apartment she headed out and to the nearest bookstore to browse and keep herself occupied. Every few minutes she’d check her phone, one to see what time it was, and two to check if Manaf had called to ask about her. He didn’t.

When she got home she saw that Manaf too had gone out, and without even texting her to inform her. Not knowing how to react she made herself some dinner before crawling into bed and between tear streaked sobs she somehow managed to fall asleep. A voice however woke her up not soon after she had dozed off “Zayoon 7abeebti?” Manaf whispered into her ear.

“Na3am?” She asked turning to face him, half confused half worried. “Shfeek?”

“I want to apologize 7abeebti. I know you’re sad o adry 9ayer 7aywan. I have an explanation bes magdar agoolich..” He said looking away.

“Well then, that makes it all better” She replied sarcastically giving him her back and trying to go back to sleep.

“Zayoon 3omri… latez3ileen 3alay” He leaned in closer but she didn’t budge.

“Shoof shlon you’ve been treating me o gooly laish ma az3al” She whispered back, the tears were making their way back to her eyes and she didn’t want to have another break down.

“Enshallah soon ra7 yetghayar kelshay o everything will become better. Wala Zayoon I promise.”

“Ok.” She muttered.

“Adry mu im9adgatni…bes you’ll see. Wa3ad” He kissed her arm and snuggled to her back, but Zeina made no attempt to get closer to him.

“You know..” She whispered, her voice choking slightly…”you’re not the Manaf I knew.”

And with that they went to sleep.

The next day Zeina woke up to see Manaf getting dressed, “Wain raye7?” She asked him in a cold tone.

“El maktab” He whispered back not looking at her.

“It’s a weekend” Pretending to remind him.

“Adry, bes yabooni akhali9 shay ibser3a..I shouldn’t be more than an hour” He leaned in to kiss her forehead but she pulled away. His face fell with disappointment but he didn’t say anything; slowly he turned away and walked out. Zeina glanced at the bedside clock, it was 11 am “Esh3inda edawem at 11 during the weekend?” She muttered angrily to herself before making her way to the bathroom. Just as she shut the door the apartment phone began to ring; hoping it was her mother Zeina rushed out of the bathroom to pick it up.

“Alo?” She spoke breathlessly into the phone.

“Hi, is this Mr. Manaf Al Flani’s residence?” An American man spoke back.

“Umm yes, this is his wife can I help you?” Zeina replied taken aback, it was unusual for someone from Manaf’s workplace to call the apartment number.

“Yes this is Michael from Doctor Millers office…please remind him that he has an appointment with Doctor Miller in half an hour and not to be late.”

“He has a what? Are you sure?” she replied confused

“Yes Ma’am, he scheduled it two weeks ago. We have all his reports we’re ready to fit him in for testing today.”

“What kind of Doctor is he?” She muttered, beginning to panic.

“Doctor Miller is one of the most esteemed Oncologists in the country ma’am and he runs one of New York’s handful of top Cancer Clinics! You’re husband is in good hands”

Zeina got off the phone, her hand shaking too severely for her to place it back on the handset properly.

She quickly stumbled to the balcony for fresh air as her head began to cloud with dizziness.

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[20 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Sincere Apologies… Part 9 | 0 views]

Everyday, for the past 3 weeks, M7amad has been calling me. Sometimes, more than often, he’d just call to ‘check and see how I was doing’. Everyday, things got better between us, and so, I decided that today I was going to tell him how I truly felt abo…

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[19 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on After those Beeps.. pt 13 | 0 views]

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[19 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on 5. Guys night out | 0 views]

“mrs 3azeez?” I looked puzzled”ee, I mean… wait you didn’t know?” he returned the same puzzled look.”Alf alf mabrook! Ya &%$#% ma getli 5a6ib!” I replied with a huge fake grin, trying to hide my true feelings. We hugged. I then looked at Leila st…

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[19 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on part 34 dedicated to Pa7NaSS | 0 views]

NoufI was frozen in my place, I was scared, I wasn’t ready….oo all of a sudden Fahad popped into my head.Fahad, my best friend!!! The person I’ve been through everything with!!!Why isn’t he letting me in his life now?Ooo I realized, I needed him righ…

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[19 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on part 33: dedicated to Finicky hehehe | 0 views]

7adii 7addi asfa 3al ta25eer…. wayid wayid 7oosa these days!! il muhim…. i’ll continue now … love you all ;*** —————————————————————————NoufGimt bil ‘6ihur the next day oo my mind was blank,until…

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[18 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on hope pt.16 | 0 views]

sorry 6awalt 3alaiikum !love u all :*enjoyxoxo..*R_____________________________________________________________I LOOOOOOOVE HIM YA NAS !! am i sick?? i dont know ..am i ? im going crazy over him..the was he cares just drives me C R A Z Y i even have hi…

emotions, general »

[18 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on I feel ME | 0 views]

“People who suffered the most, are those who don’t know what they really want.”– Merideth, Grey’s Anatomy

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[17 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Picking Up The Pieces (1) | 0 views]

Okay, so first of all i want to announce my love for Lilo, adri wayid like I sound like i’m inlove with her bas like… if you know her, you wouldn’t blame me! Stop glaring at me, i’m not a lesbian she’s just awesome w makes straight people love her so…