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bury, dead, drugs, joint, murder »

[31 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Just Like Me – Part Eight | 2 views]

Note: I’m starting to hate my story and my writing and college is sucking up all my energy. Ok, that was a lie. I would just rather do my nails as I watch America’s Next Top Model cycle 12 than write. Sorry! This story is coming to end soon s…

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[31 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on A Poem : It Is Her | 3 views]

I’d like to dedicate this post with a poem I wrote for my grandmother , who passed away on the 28th of January 2008 . I miss you both . Allah yer7mich oo Ya’3mid rou7ich il janna ya yuma …I love you.Time flies by in the blink of an eyeWords go un-sa…

MiAmor[11] »

[31 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on MiAmor[11] I want you…..more? | 1 views]

UH… I don’t know what I should do.. I mean what .. hu :S?

My mom looked at me puzzled, and thousand thoughts kept running inside my head.
I mean I cant leave him there hanging..
“Daliaa yala binroo7 il bait.. basna shopping 7ag alyom”-M
“uh..uh. ok”-D
*ring ring*
“sh3alamich? Digega uboch bil 5a6… halla ya 3omreeey halla”-M

I’ll think about it.

I didn’t know what to answer… I mean I’ve never had a boyfriend or any of hal sowalf… u no? and the fact that I like this person AND this person likes me.. is like a huge bombshell dropped unfolded and completely unauthorized.

3ndch il wakt kila

I had to think about this… it’s a situation that maybe sometime in the future I might regret. I had to be mature about this, and set my mind into it.
I’ve had other guys ask me that question, but I refused. The reason for that, is I didn’t really like them the way they liked me.
But now, I like Jassim the way I think he likes me and more.
You know when you can see the future for like a mili second, and then it just hits you that your living, and your in reality now…
Well I can see him with me… in the future.
I mean, I cant imagine myself without him.
Maybe its just hormones talking but, im the kind of person who sets her mind to things and always has to accomplish them.

“yalla dalia”- my mother squealed breaking my whole imaginary bubble off the knot.


We walked back to the car, and drove back home.
After changing into my night wear, and headed to bed… and thought about this for over I don’t know how many hours, I decided to call.
I didn’t want to leave him hanging like a hook, and I didn’t want to lose intouch with him; certainly not.

“halla Dalia!”-J
“adg 3alaich il7en!”-j
“uh.. laish?”-D
“maby il mokalama itkoon 3alaich yalla 7aboba bye”-J
*ringing ringing*
“halla… shta3wa jassim”-D
“ahlain, a7san chithy”-J
“3ala ra7tick, int mo bil duwaniya?”-D
“la 6ila3t imbacher, bacher 3andi game min 9oba7 alla 5air!”-J
“bas it’s a holiday”-D
“eee adri… bas shinsawee hal coach wayed imthari6”-J
“haha ok goodluck”-D
“mashkora….inzain ha fakraty.. wela lail7en time?”-J
“uh..e…bas mo wayed((7ady im lieng)) I don’t know if im capable … ya3ni madry a7is im betraying my family oo madry 7aram”-D ‘chuckled’
“intay walla mara a7d s2alch hal so2al?”-J
“imbala, bas I always rejected. Liana I didn’t like them oo I didn’t see it going anywhere. Bas jassim.. I like you more than a friend oo I cant do anything about it”-D
“ham ana I like you more than a friend…”-J
“bas maybe its for the best we remain friends …”-D
“ma3a benefits”-he laughed
“madry 3an hal sha’3la wallah!!”-D
“inzain hahah sim3eeny…”-J
“sh3indick”-I teased
“ill give you time… mara7 a8a9bich…mara7 I threatn you wella hal sowalf”-J
“laish int you threatened min gabl yaal shai6an!!”-D
“haaaaaaaaa!! Ana shai6an?afaaa”-J
“3adi as2lk so2all… bas moo t3a9ib!! jad jad”-D
“a3rf shra7 tis2leen!”-J
“liana agra mo5ch… oo la.. ma 7abait min gabl”-J
“uh.. mo layig 3alaik”I teased
“hahaha.. la la, bas ya3ni gabl ayam il thanawiya.. kan rifije ygoly 3an hathy .. o o madry mino, oo ygoly ‘yoba 3ady il3b ib mo5’hm’ bas la… ana ma kint chithy AGOOLICH YA DALIA ANA SHAAAAAAAAY!!”-He teased back
“ma fahamt ya3ni INTA!! Il 7iLO!!! Ma kan 3andick?? Int bas chithy ga3d itgool 9a7?”-D
“laaa laaa mo bas chithy!! Haha inzaiin aggolich”-J
“HA HA!! Wa a5eeran 6ila3 il 9ij”-D
“kint ya3ni … a7achee hal bnaya… kanat wayed it7ibeny.. bas ib mw8ofy kint bas bal3ab feeha… ya3ni bas chihty.. 5o ayshay”-J
“ok ok kaml”-D
“fa g3dna nit7acha bil telephone… bas ma gitl’ha 3an ay shay… lana a3rf ina mafe waraha shay, ya3ni kina bil thanawiya… shbin sawe fogha fahmatny?”-J
“ee ee KAMIL lat ga6i3”-D
“Yuma Yuma, inzain hahaha…. Fa il mohm bdait a7achy wa7da thanya.. oo lail7en kint ga3d a7aichy hatheech… ya3ni bas y67al6moon ib rasy.. ana kint ag3ad bil zigara oo asma3.. oo bil duwaniya kano ydoogon chinhom bugar… fa chakoony kint ga3d a7acheehom il ithnain ma3a ba3th madry shloon nisait, oo bas zafony oo madry shino … kan sowalif yahal… oo ana kint asma3… ath7ak ib galby, bas min yomha wigaft, lana jad many5ilg sowalf 7ob oo ‘3aram oo madry shino oo ana kint mo ma5th hal mawthoo3 jaaad”-J
“yal 7aywaaan haahahahahahhaa 7aram 3alaik umbay ahahahaahahh wala itha chaikatk imsawe feeny chithy a8ichk”-D
“afaaaaaaaaaaa… la la.. intay sha’3la thanya!”-J
“3abaly ba3ad!!”-D
“inzain oo intay.. mako?”-J
“la2 ana sha6ra”-D
“yalla 6al3ay..!!”-J
“uf uf inzain”-D
“ok … ta3rft 3ala this guy min rifeejty oo kan jaaaaaaad ywanis… oo kan yfham.. bas ma kint agola shay ya3ni any of my secrets ooh al sowalif, liana kint a5af.Fa il mohm 6ilab ra8my oo bidaina nit7acha bil telephone, oo kan ydig 3alay kil ma he breaks up ma3a 7abebta .. .fa yoom galy ina yaby ykoon my bf.. oo ana 6ab33an RAFTHA ya3ni RAFTHA! Oo ohwa y8a9bny.. ooo y8a9bny… oo ana l2 o l2! Fa gal ok 3ayal inkoon friends.. oo 9ij thaliana friends… fa fe yom ri7t ma3a rab3y chee 6al3een wela ma wa3ait ila shifta… oo ana ri7t in5ashait… madry laish, hahaha nisait”-D
“haha inzain”-J
“ee fa.. ba3dain ra7 camp oo bida y7achny min ihnak, oo ana wagaft amasga liana ma abee yfakr iny kint a7iba aw shay… fa lama kan ydig a7gira oo akon 9aka il telephone… fa bida il 7aywan y6al3 esha3at 3any,, iny kint a7iba oo ohwa y7ibny oo madry shloon… fa bas ya3ni wagafna in7achy ba3ath oo haathy ihya….”-D
“gawaad! 7mar… bas zain itsaween… walla ma yswa reputation 3ala sha’3la mafe as5af minha”-J
“oo il7en a7na shg3d insawe jassim hahahaahaha”- I started laughing
“la a7na bil jam3a, hatha ‘3air”-J
“shlon ‘3air ya3ni?”-D
“ya3ni kbar, shfech mo fahma 3lay”-J
“hahah oh ok.. liany ta3bana, shift il sa3a cham?”-D
“lat nameen”-J
“haw laish?”-D
“in9aly winam, tara ga3d a8mizllich il7een”-J
“inshala.. oo ana ba3d ahhaah “-D
i stil don’t know how to work the private thing, as soon as i know ill tell you!

Everything Else »

[31 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Ok Ok !! | 35 views]

OK !
I’m not going to stop with the other story. I will continue them both. Everyday a new post from each.

Im so sorry Wallah wa3ad mini i will continue. But for those of you who didnt get to read the whole thing, ask me what you wanna know cause I will start from where I left off.

Wallah y7belkom Im so sorry.. la tz3aloo mini plz. Wallah cuase i thought the story became boring for u guys so i decided to change. But 5ala9 2 stories.

I love u all walla ma twa8a3t kitha :**

I will continue!!

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[31 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Foolish Games.. (12) | 1 views]

Hola! Shorter than usual, I know :( But I do plan on posting another one within the next 2 days or so? I promise! Bas itifaqt ma3a Lost to post a part tonight, so here goes, love you guys! ;*__________________________________My sweet, adorable, loud li…

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[30 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Dear Readers, | 2 views]

Dear Readers,I miss you all alot. Im sorry for not posting in a long time!! But ive been super super busy these days!!Promise i will write a v.long post tomm!Love you all.HUGS And kisses to you all.

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[30 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Picking Up The Pieces (4) | 4 views]

You guys :( I’m not getting the feedback I used to get 7ag the lostb2amreeka story w im starting to think i suck w u all were just interested in the fact tht its in america w thts why everyone was reading? If it sucks golooli ill stop wasting my time n…

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[29 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on After those Beeps.. pt 15 | 3 views]

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[27 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on part 35 dedicated to SlouchyPants ;* my new first hehe | 3 views]

NOUFFive minutes later.. I paced around the room, waiting.I was so nervous…. what was I going to say?10 minutes later….where is he?18 minutes later…. ati9il 3alai?19 minutes later…*Dialing F’s #*”Aloo?””Fahad, wainiiik? Your house isn’t that fa…

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[26 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on hope pt.17 | 1 views]

AAAH should i pick up..la2na he seemed angry at me :s aaah stupid stupid jawa ! shlone itgouleen chithe jidam u5oo !! ‘3aba2ee mo 6abee3y..me: a-alooaziz: jawa?me: um..hala aziz..tara..im sor..aziz: la la 3adi i understand !! bs joj kilish ma kan la da…

MiAmor[10] »

[26 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on MiAmor[10];only time knows… ((going private)) | 2 views]

My mobile started to ring.
We stopped cuddling each other and got into shape.
he nodded.
“halla mamaty”-D
“ha 7abebty!! Lail7en your studying?”-mama
“uh ..tawny im5al9a gilt atmasha shway “-D
“uhaa.. inzain 5aleech ihnak ana yayatlich.. “-mama
((crap))I stared at jassim with a worried look and bit my lip.
“inshala, ya3ni yabelch cham digega?”-D
“yalla ok ana na6ritich”-D
“3asa ma shar?”-J
“omi ra7 tiyee”-D
“uha ok.. uh shloon 3ayal?”-J
“wallah madre..”-D
“5ala9 ana amshee”-J
“not now”-D
“ee ee inshala”-J
now it was his phone ringing
“aloo.na3am?………yal 9aidaÖ kaaak.. ubook ya 7mar”- and so the convo continued…
while I drifted off to forver21. He was standing outside, in the stand.
I picked up a couple of dresses and some funky shirts… that had lame jokes on them.
And headed to the dressing room..
I put on a blue poka dot dress,and examined it on me…
*naah makes me look like a blueberry*
*my phone started to ring
“dressing room”-D
“yalla bye”-J
he came to the dressing room, but not call my name out..cuz obviously everyone would think were crazy.
When I finished trying on the stuff I got, I unlocked the door, and saw him sitiing and busy with his phone.
“ha 5ala9ty?”-J
“yupyup”-D (I winked)
“jassim come, inside”-D
he stood up and headed to me, I closed the door.
“im going to call shireefa now”-D
he gave me this serious look like MIN 9IJICH
“and i donít want to do it alone.. fa”-D
ìkany ma3achî he touched my hand and squeezed it. 
*deed, deed, deed*
by the forth ring  she answered
“halla 7abooba!!”-S
“halla sharoof”-D
“agool dalia ana shiftech ma3a jassim wela ga3d at5ayl?”-S
((jassims face was close to mine, cuz he was trying to itsama3))
“AHAM SHAY!! Ma hagaitich chithy”-S
“look whos talking ” I mumbld to Jassim.
“la sharoof, kan ga3d ydarisny”-7awalt arag3íha
“y9eer 5air, tara hes mine so if you respect me back off”-S
((I giggled))
Jassim wanted to pee on his pants.
“agool, I respect you enough to do that, but I called you for a reason”-I winked to jassim
“and whats that?”- S
“ma a3tirf feech inich rifejty …fa i5ti9aran.. I donít want to be your friend”-D
and I shut the phone.
Me and jassim kept laughin, he fell on the floor and I fell with him.. only on top of him.
His hands were around my waist.
“why are we laughing? I just lost a friend”- D *giggle*
“madry hahah”-J
—- mama caling
I punched jassim ” sh sh , my mamas calling”
“halla mamitaaa”-D ( he cuddeld me so close, and put his face on my shoulder.)
“wainich? 5ams digayg oo o9al avenues”-mama
(( jassim kissed me on my neck.. woah ok!!)) 
I punched him.
“haha mama ok”- D –I was so lost with words.—
“shfeech?shal thi7k?”-Mama
(( he kissed my ears)) and I punched him again
“wala shay mama”-D
(and I mumbled bes to jassim)
“yalla alageech ib debenhams”-M
“okaaay byeee”-D
 I stood up, and held out my hand to him.
He stood up.
“uff by the way your leaving now”- I stared at him and started to laugh.
“la bacher”-J
“malee8 jassim :) ” i teased
” bye “-J
and he hugged me soo tighttt, and I hugged him so tight back. 
“you smell amazing yal zag, im borrowing your calonia”-D [ I said while we were still hugging]
“a36eech yaa, walla yhimich”-J
“bas 3ad, tara f8a9tny”-D
“digega ba3ad”-J
“tara I sleep if you hug me to much”-D
*mama calling
“OMI GA3D DIG ya 7ilo, bas digega.”-D
“mama ana ib forver 21”-D
“ee ok , kaho jbaly, digega oo ayelich”-M
“bye”and he pecked my cheecks.
((whats happening to him..?))
and he left, and I left…
My mom and I shopped like crazy. 
And we decided to rest in starbucks.
I missed jassim already, last time I saw him was 5 hours ago :( 
yo, whats your pretty face doing?
ga3d ashoof koora ma3a il shabab
oh ok.. i miss you hahaha
walla ana akthar
:* ill leave you to what your doing
Dalia… will you be my girlfriend?

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[25 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Foolish Games.. (11) | 2 views]

Oooo confession time? For those who haven’t figured it out yet, tara ana Lilo! I keep getting confused and commenting from wrong accounts so just wanted to let you guys know! enjoy.. or not, kaifkum!;**_______________________________We walked hand in h…

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[24 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on After those Beeps.. pt 14 | 1 views]

Everything Else »

[23 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Picking Up The Pieces (3) | 1 views]

“inta erfeej u5uy…? Ummm, t3arf wa7ed isma Ri’6a Al-Flani?” I asked, knowing the answer to that already.”ahhaa… fehamt… entay e5ta?””ee..” I giggled, “what are the odds, eh?””ee wallah… i’m supposed to keep a look out for you, is it the first t…

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[22 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on 30: Undeniable Truths Hurt | 4 views]

It has come to my attention that some people (especially Jam3iya) are still za3laneen 3alay fa gelt ba7e6likom this short post 3ashan aratheeekom…did it work?!

Zeina didn’t know how long she had been in the balcony but the only thing that brought her back to reality was the clicking of the front door as it shut behind Manaf. She froze not knowing what to do, the news she had received a while ago still hadn’t registered with her and she still hadn’t thought of what to do or what to say to him.

“Zeina?” Manaf’s voice called out to her from the bedroom where he had gone to look for her. Zeina emerged from the balcony still in her pajamas, her hair a mess and looked at her husband. His tall stature, his broad chest, his much shorter hair…she stared at his eyes trying to look for the man she once knew. The same man that had swept her off of her feet that day at the university when she had accidently stumbled upon him. The same man that held her hand while they dropped from the highest point Zeina had ever been on. He didn’t seem to be there.

Replacing him was a man with dark circles under his eyes that Zeina had thought once to be from all the work but wasn’t sure anymore. The new man in front of Zeina looked over her very much unlike the old one, it was as if he acknowledged her body and face in front of him but didn’t stare too long at it enough to let them register in his mind. He swept through her and her words quite often now and Zeina was beginning to understand why. Her husband, her Manaf, had a secret; one that was bound to reveal itself if he looked at her for too long, if he hugged her too tightly, if he spoke to hear more regularly.

Manaf was pushing himself away from her in order to hide.

“Ah there you are” Manaf said finally noticing her walking in from the balcony, “fakartay sheno tabeen ghada?” He asked flipping through papers in his hand a wrinkle forming on his forehead. The same wrinkle Zeina had seen a million times since she had arrived in New York but had always blamed on work. Zeina didn’t speak as she stood there staring at him wondering what the right words to say were.

“Shfeech?” Manaf asked putting down the papers and staring at her with worry in his eyes. Tears formed at the corners of Zeina’s eyes but she held them back.

“Tell me.” She whispered.

Manaf’s face fell as he took in the seriousness of Zeina’s expression; he knew she was talking about something solemn.

“Tell you what?” He tried feebly, still holding on to the glimmer of hope that Zeina hadn’t found out.

“…What the doctor said” She continued. It was here that Manaf’s gaze fell to the floor and for the next several minutes refused to look up. Zeina took a step forward and stood inches from his face.

“Manaf…look at me! And tell me!” She snapped at him her voice refusing to quiver.

“Shlon 3araftay?” He asked her.

“Not by you…”

Manaf continued to be quiet for a few seconds before he gave Zeina his back and walked into the bedroom. Dumbfounded Zeina froze in her spot not knowing if she should follow him or not. Finally her feet began to work and they made their way into the bedroom but Manaf wasn’t there; looking around she heard the sound of the showerhead in the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and waited for him, a sea of emotions crashing inside of her. She still hadn’t managed to distinguish what the strongest emotion inside of her was. Was it anger? Hurt? Or was it mind blowing, earth shattering fear?

Was she going to be left alone, without Manaf? A world with a crabby, stressed, busy Manaf was one that was a million times better than one without him completely. It was a thought she was not willing to explore just yet because she knew that once she began to consider this world, she would enter a dark abyss that she was not likely to ever escape.

Minutes later Manaf came out of the bathroom and slightly taken aback by Zeina’s position sitting firmly and stubbornly in front of him, he froze.

“Meta kent nawi etgooly?” She whispered.

“I just found out Zeina” He replied.

“Shlon ya3ni? Eshdarak? Shlon mata7acha?!” Her voice began to rise uncontrollably. Manaf walked towards her and sat down next to her on the bed and for the first time in weeks stared right at her and held her gaze unwaveringly.

“I couldn’t tell you” He whispered still not looking away.

“What? Why?” Her strong calm voice began quivering as the tears that would undoubtedly make their way began to form behind her eyes.

“Shagoolich? Khalaitich etwagfeen derastich, sa7abtich min ahalich, ga6aitich ib deera ibroo7ich, majabaltich wela 7atan shift ishlonich feeha, o akher shay ayeech wagoolich I might be dying o because of me ra7 et9eereen a widow?!”

“DON’T SAY THAT” Zeina screamed the tears, this time of anger, flowed freely… “you can’t say that!” She whimpered grabbing his arm.

“Zeina 7abeebti…” he began to speak then stopped and looked down, taking her hands off of his arm and kissing them gently. He then looked back up for a brief second, enough for Zeina to see the tears forming inside his eyes, then got up and in two swift strides walked out of the bedroom and into the living room. Zeina marched after him violently wiping the tears that were pouring across her face. She caught up with Manaf on the balcony and stared at him as he gave her his back.

“Manaf it’s not that bad 9a7? People get cured all the time…a9lan 9ar shay 3adi…we shouldn’t even worry” Zeina rambled half to fill the silence and the other half to convince herself.

“You’re right. Eli Allah katba be9eer Zeina whether I’m sick or not..” He turned around, the tears now gone from his eyes. He walked up to Zeina and grabbed her firmly from her face, “Zayoon, I am so sorry you had to deal with this o inich you got stuck with insan mithli ana…bes atkhayal il ta3ab ili I already put you through at the possibility of putting you through more and it kills me wala!”

Suddenly all the tears that had been forming in Zeina’s eyes disappeared as a wave of anger washed over her, “enta ma geltli 3ashan 3abalik I can’t handle it?” She said slowly, “3abalik when I find out banhar o babchi o ra7 at3ab?” Her voice slowly began to rise, “la, don’t you dare let me take the easy way out. Ra7 etwareeni every single test you did o ra7 aroo7 ma3ak every single appointment you have o you’re going to fight this, because qa9bin 3alaik you get better! Fahem?!” Her voice had risen to screams at the end of her sentence and she realized that she was holding on to Manaf with all of her strength.

“Enshallah” Manaf whispered before kissing her forehead.

He led Zeina inside and sat her down on the couch before going into the bedroom and coming back out with a stack of folders and envelopes.

“f7oo9atik?” Zeina asked quietly, her heart beating severely.

Manaf nodded and sat down next to her extending his arm towards her. Just as Zeina grasped the folders and pulled them into her lap Manaf’s hand touched hers and she looked up.

“Zayoon. Please help me” He whispered.

thats the end of this »

[22 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on sorry | 2 views]

This is the end of my posts.NO, it didnt end like that.We had so much stuff going on before stepping forward.But i just wanna close my blog, or like… not continue it.sorry.. its nothing personal.p.s. your mean comments is like hell burning my heart.y…

Everything Else »

[22 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on and that is what friends are for..!! | 2 views]

Everything Else »

[22 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Dimple | 2 views]

Everything Else »

[22 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on It’s ok babe, I’m here for you if u needed anything..!! | 3 views]

Everything Else »

[22 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on 20 | 2 views]

It’s been three weeks.. Me and my family were doing great.. there was still this void.. I felt lost.. I was lying on my bed when my mum came in .. Mama: mama shfeech mu 3ala ba3thich? Sara: mafeeny shay yuma shfeech? Mama: madre a7isich ib 3alam thany …

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[21 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on 7aflat Rashid Il Majid | 1 views]

Il laila il 7aflaaaaaa!!! wa a5eeran!!!7addiii 7adii mistansa bas lail7een ma 6ila3t!!! ;/As soon as I post this, ba6la3….Bas b’3ait agoolookum 3ashan I’m soo looking forward to it…Oo ba3ad kint bagoolookum ineee 7adii istnast ib the other two 7afl…

arrest, hash, jail, joint »

[21 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Just Like Me – Part Seven | 2 views]

Note: sorry, no internet :) [

Everything Else »

[21 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Picking Up The Pieces (2) | 2 views]

Different leagues i love you more ;* w love your story!!! *sigh*________________________________________Incoming callMahooytyy-Pooh;*If I answered her call I knew I would definately mention 7amad. Whether I want to or not is not related. I have just ne…

MiAmor[9] »

[21 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on MiAmor[9]; love is in the air [ this is to “my little secret” i hope you see this] | 2 views]

i couldn’t sleep that night, I kept tossing and turning. I just desperately wanted to know… how bad was that Shireefa girl was!
goodmorning Jassim :) wake up…
and im not calling you
because you’ll hate me (: and
im going to Paul for breakfast iley ib avenues
fa your most welcome

that was at 9, and I knew for sure he would probably reply at like 1?!
I took my books, and my laptop.
I wore my skinny jeans, and a white flowy shirt and wore my black ballet shoes.
I took my keys, and explained to mama that im going to study there.
When I got there, I ordered my coffee from starbucks and went to Pauls.
Kilish mafee i7tiram ;p bas I cant live without their coffee ;p
I opened my laptop, and started typing my essay… and putting sticky notes on my book.
The waiter seemes distracted and hated the fact that I was studying at their place.
But I kept telling him “5 more minutes, im typing the last word!”
7AYATI I miss you..
shda3wa you don’t ask about me
… dalioo hatha yzay oo athab6ich ;] jk jk

[ewww its shirefa ]

halla 7ayati
sorry walla so much stuff
and intay laish u don’t keep intouch ;p!

[uf. ]

Halla dalia, 9ba7 il 5air ;p
Omy tawha imga3datny 3ashan tabeny ayeblaha
Sha’3la min il jam3iya
Ba3d shway ayeelich

9ba7 il THUHAR ;p
ok yalla take your time
and shireefa messaged!!

7abeebty .. ana il7een ib avenues
H&M come.. lets get some girl bonding


Shireefa 7ayati walla I cant
Im in avenues now, and im typing my essay

wain ib avenues


Pauls.. im meeting someone.

ok.. fine… 3ayal… sometime later xx

inshala 7abeebty.

(uff il faka min’ha)

15 minutes later

yaylich il7een…

ok, bas ana mo ib Pauls.. i6ridony :p

ana a3ilmhom ;p

he called 5 minutes later
“aloo”- D

“halla, wainich ?”-J

“im trying on cloths in River Island”-D

“uh .. wain alageech ?”-J

“come here!”-D ( as i tried to zip my jeans)

“ma3rf waina, inzain… agolich meet me at Pauls, lana ohwa jidam wayhe”-D

“inshala,but give me a minute”-D

“okaik, bye”-J

I met him in pauls 10 minutes later, cuz a shirt caught my eyes.

“JASSIM!”- I screeched
I saw him sitting and smoking.
He was wearing a purple polo shirt, and grey trackpants(shkla 7ada not in the mood :p). and a hat, but he wore it backwurds, so part of his hair was coming out.

“halla dalia”-he stood up, and put his cigarette in the small bin.extinct.

“5alik ga3d sht3wa”-D

“la la, i7tiram shway shfeech”-he winked

“haha ok,,tabe tamshy wala we sit?”-D

“3al ra7tich”-J

“walk”-D …I gave him the puppy eyes look

“5ala9 WALK it is !”-J

“dalo, 3a6eny jan6itch iley feha laptop!”-J

“la la 5aleha ma3y!”-d

“byinksr thahrch, 3a6eeniyaha”-J

“jassim mo thgeela!!”-D

“3adi, 3a6eny yaha oo ray7eeny”-J

I gave in, and gave it to him.


“wain wain ??”-J

“zara,, OH OH by the way!! I got you something”-D

“shino haha”-J

“ta3al il dressing room.”
We went in, and into the room.

“ok shoof, hatha it just caught my eyes, and I thought it would look AMAZING 3alaik”-D

“wareeny ya!!!!”-J

“first drum rolls!”-D

“please jassim please!!”-D

“ukh , ok dum dum dum”- he looked upwards
and I started laughingggggggggggggggg!!

“yalla kahoo yal fashill hahah!!”-D


It was a power rangers shirt ;]

“laaaaaaaaaa2 laaaaaaaaaa2 magdar!! Ana wallllaaaa mooo 3omry ithnain”-J

“try it,,” as I unlocked the door and stood outside.



and he closed the door.slowly,passing his gloomy face.

He came out, and I got my bb out.


“haaaaaaahahahahahaha yoou look so cute walla hahahaah”-D

he came close to me, and started pinching my cheecks.
And yes we were in a girls dressing room
And that lady stared at us like we were insane, she stared making calls
Jassim noticed.
And ignored.(he was a bit disappointed)
He went inside and changed.
We went out, and started to talk.
You should have seen the peoples faces…
So dramatic
“Umbay, hathy mnin9ij’ha wain ga3dain?”
I heard people say as we passed by.

We walked to the end of avenues, it was so empty there, we were the only people.
He put his arm around my shoulders, and his face close to mine.
I felt so cuddled
“wallaw!!it was so fun”-D

5osh company! Ma ti3zimony?

His arms cuddled me so hard

“jassim ma giltle 3an shirefa”-D

“ee.. wala hal bint 9ay3a!”-J

“she just messaged me, look”-D

“shino ya3ni, 5osh company? Min 9ij’ha.. goléelaha ma7d 6ilab raych.. 5al tathlif.”-J

he let go of his hand, and i stood infront of him.
“see that’s what I don’t understand,,, weren’t you like friends with her”- I started talking with my hand gestures.

“hadday balich… bas ina il shabab galoley ina shayfeen’ha ib 7aflat wa7d, shes drinking and smoking.. alaho a3laam shitsawe ba3ad! Min 9ijich tabeny ag3ad ma3a hal ashkaal? Kil digega i6arishhly messages I love yyouo oo madry shino, oo aham shay you think artha inich tig3deen ma3a hal ashkal oo ti5tirb sim3tch 3al fathy”-J
I blushed. Ya7laila.
we stood by the stairs.
I stared downstairs.
He rubbed my back.
“madry min wain y6la3on hal ashka’l. wae3, that whore.. sorry 3ala the words. Bas jad, lay mita chithy.. ?y3ni shbe golon 7ag zoj’hm when they get married, I doubt they can even hide it, no one would want them ba3ad.”

“9a7 kalamich…”-J

“haha adri”-D


“laish.. 5al’ha twaly..hal ashkaal ma ystahloon wa7da nafsy”- I teased

he put his arm on my sholders, and hugged my so hard.
Uf It felt too warm and right… butterflies.. butterflies, and more butterlflies.

we walked, and I put my hand in his waist. Uf. It just felt right.
But still… that doesn’t mean were a couple right? Were just friends :)

I wasn’t crossing any boundaries.
I guess..

Everything Else »

[21 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on The thin lines of my day.. | 1 views]

emotions, family, LOVE »

[21 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on To My Rock | 2 views]

-Thank you for being there when no body was. -Thank you for putting up with me and my siblings all these years. -Thank you for believing in me, when no body did. -Thank you for lifting me up, when life let me down. -Thank you for picking up the pieces …

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[20 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on 29: New York, New York! | 1 views]

Awal shay i’m REALLY sorry for not updating in a long time, wayed minkom waited so patiently for me and I really appreciate it. I’ve had a long month with loads of stuff to do mixed with severe writers block. I hope you enjoy the new post o enshallah ma7ad feekom za3lan wayed lol ;p


Zeina smiled politely at the doorman as she followed Manaf into their apartment building; she took in the unfamiliar furniture and all the colors of the walls; Manaf greeted a man at the front desk and took some keys from him before he leaned back and put his arms around Zeina.

He led her to a set of elevators where once on, he pressed the button for 23 and tightened his grip on her waist. Zeina hadn’t said a word to him since landing in New York, she was too busy trying to comprehend the idea that she was coming to live and not to visit. She was also quiet for fear that if she opened her mouth words of how much she already missed her mother would pour out followed undoubtedly by a river of tears.

The elevator doors opened up and Manaf half dragged Zeina out into the hallway and towards an apartment door that had the numbers 1204 in gold lettering in the middle. He pushed the keys in and slid the door open for her, “welcome home 7abeebti” he whispered waiting for her to walk in. Zeina took a hesitant step inside and began reviewing the room in front of her; it was a small living room, to her side was a small kitchen and a large hallway appeared to her left. Following it, Zeina found herself standing at the door of the main and only bedroom.

“Ta3alay shofay il view” Manaf’s voice interrupted her thoughts and she made her way back to the living room. Once outside with Manaf, she looked the city lights that were lighting up the dark skies and she found herself breathless.

“Bard..” She giggled snuggling up to him.

“Ee 3abalich ga3da bilk wait intay?” He teased her rubbing her arms with his hands to warm her up.

“We should unpack..” She told him, still unable to remove her eyes from the view.

“Ne6reeni..!” he joked, not budging and tightening his grip on her so that she too could not budge.

“Meta your first day?” Zeina asked him pulling him back inside from the cold breeze, and throwing herself on the couch.

“Bacher I go in 3ashan they show me around..”

“waaay .. wana shasawii ihnee ibroo7i?” She whined

“You shop?” He raised an eyebrow at her reaching into his pocket and taking out a credit card and waving it in front of her.

“Laa mu min9ijik!” Zeina laughed reaching in to grab it

“Kelshay be7dooda, you’ve heard that saying right 3omri?” He smiled at her as she plucked the card from his fingers.

“Nope, never. What does that mean?” She asked innocently. His smile was immediately wiped off of his face as she got up and skipped to their bedroom, leaving him to mentally calculate the amount of debt his new wife was most likely going to put him in.

That night Zeina slept soundly as she thought of the months to come that would be spent alone with Manaf and the hundreds of clothing stores around the states and when she awoke the next day she was saddened to see that her husband had already left for work. She grabbed her mobile and flipped through the text messages she had received over the night; one of them was from Manaf: 9aba7 el khair 3omri, didn’t want to wake you…I’m on my way to work see you at five! Love you.

FIVE?! Zeina wanted to scream as she remembered that working hours in the states weren’t like Kuwait… 2 o’clock in the afternoon was barely mid-workday for them over here, while in Kuwait it was almost after-hours! Realizing she had another six hours to waste before Manaf would be home, she began taking her time getting ready before hitting the Manhattan streets.

Zeina realized as the hours passed slowly that if she was to spend every day wandering the streets alone then the upcoming six months were going to be the longest of her life and after the third hour of aimless wandering she began fighting the urge to call her mother and burst into tears. Manaf had only managed to call her for a few minutes to check on her before she overheard some guys calling him into a meeting and he hurried off the phone. She knew she couldn’t tell him about how hard her day has been because he hardly needed the pressure right now.

Eventually, like a lifetime later, five o’clock loomed in and Zeina hurriedly got into a cab and made her way back to the apartment building, or what she should start calling home. She was barely out of her outfit and into her casual home attire before Manaf’s key was heard at the front door.

“Manooof!” Zeina squealed rushing up to him and hugging him.

“7abeeebti entay…hi!” He chuckled, giving her a kiss on her head, before making his way to the bedroom…”how was your day?”

“Not important! How was yours? Do you like your job? Are the people nice? Are they overworking you?”

“Shway shway …! Kelshay tamam, lots of work, bes inshallah it won’t be a problem” He smiled at her untying his tie and pulling it over his head. “Ta3baaaan” He muttered throwing himself on the bed.

“Aww..7ayati! Did you eat? Want me to make you something?” She offered sitting down beside him.

“La mashkoora, I ate at the office..bes abi I lie down shwaya” He began taking off his shoes and made his way to the bathroom to wash up. Zeina left him to it and went to the living room to flip through the television while he changed. Twenty minutes later she realized that he had not joined her and so she went looking for him, only to find him passed out asleep on the bed. Feeling sorry for him, and a little lonely, she turned off the lights and went back to watching TV alone.

The rest of the week went pretty much the same way; Manaf would leave for work before she woke up, and come back too exhausted to even mutter a sentence before passing out. He’d wake up early into the night and finish up some work, but only after he gave an hour of his time listening to Zeina’s day, which consisted of nothing but shopping since she had nothing else to do. She vowed to not sound whiney and dependant and that she would give herself time to make friends and get herself involved with different things to preoccupy her time and so she decided to avoid telling Manaf just how unhappy she had been their first week there.

“Zeina mama it’s only been a month…ne6ray 3alaih 7abeebti, akeed karfeena bil dawam o ta3ban!” Zeina’s mother spoke calmly onto the phone. A month had passed since they had first gotten to New York and Zeina had finally cracked and broke down, telling her mother everything.

“La mama matadreen, metghayer, 9ayer 3a9abi o mala khilgy o maykalemni kelish” Zeina choked onto the phone, she felt guilty at the pit of her stomach knowing that she was causing her mother pain by letting her hear her crying so uncontrollably. “9ar ma3inda ila ygooli entay matadree eshkither ana 3alay thaq6…o etha 9ar 3inda break law yoom, mayabi esawii shay bes yabi inam o ejabel il tv wela 7atan yfaker ina ana maqmoota o ma a6la3 min il sheqa wayed!”

“7abeebti calm down…intay al7ean met’thayga o eb3eeda 3an deertich o ahalich fa you feel alone…” Her mother began attempting to calm her down with her words of wisdom but she was interrupted by the front door slamming shut. Manaf had come home unexpectedly early. “akalmich mama” Zeina whispered into the phone as she hid her tear streaked face from him. He had not yet seen the tears she had shed during the month and she didn’t know what his reaction would be like.

“Eshfeech?” He asked not coming any closer. His face was tired and impatient and Zeina didn’t feel like hearing words that would hurt her from him.

“Wela shay…kent ga3da akalem omy” She muttered lowering her gaze in an attempt to avoid his eyes.

“Enzain.” He muttered and walked into the room. His indifference sent another trail of tears down her cheeks as she stepped out to the balcony to wipe them off. Just like every other day, Manaf went straight to bed after work and Zeina was left to watch TV by herself. Deciding not to sulk alone at the apartment she headed out and to the nearest bookstore to browse and keep herself occupied. Every few minutes she’d check her phone, one to see what time it was, and two to check if Manaf had called to ask about her. He didn’t.

When she got home she saw that Manaf too had gone out, and without even texting her to inform her. Not knowing how to react she made herself some dinner before crawling into bed and between tear streaked sobs she somehow managed to fall asleep. A voice however woke her up not soon after she had dozed off “Zayoon 7abeebti?” Manaf whispered into her ear.

“Na3am?” She asked turning to face him, half confused half worried. “Shfeek?”

“I want to apologize 7abeebti. I know you’re sad o adry 9ayer 7aywan. I have an explanation bes magdar agoolich..” He said looking away.

“Well then, that makes it all better” She replied sarcastically giving him her back and trying to go back to sleep.

“Zayoon 3omri… latez3ileen 3alay” He leaned in closer but she didn’t budge.

“Shoof shlon you’ve been treating me o gooly laish ma az3al” She whispered back, the tears were making their way back to her eyes and she didn’t want to have another break down.

“Enshallah soon ra7 yetghayar kelshay o everything will become better. Wala Zayoon I promise.”

“Ok.” She muttered.

“Adry mu im9adgatni…bes you’ll see. Wa3ad” He kissed her arm and snuggled to her back, but Zeina made no attempt to get closer to him.

“You know..” She whispered, her voice choking slightly…”you’re not the Manaf I knew.”

And with that they went to sleep.

The next day Zeina woke up to see Manaf getting dressed, “Wain raye7?” She asked him in a cold tone.

“El maktab” He whispered back not looking at her.

“It’s a weekend” Pretending to remind him.

“Adry, bes yabooni akhali9 shay ibser3a..I shouldn’t be more than an hour” He leaned in to kiss her forehead but she pulled away. His face fell with disappointment but he didn’t say anything; slowly he turned away and walked out. Zeina glanced at the bedside clock, it was 11 am “Esh3inda edawem at 11 during the weekend?” She muttered angrily to herself before making her way to the bathroom. Just as she shut the door the apartment phone began to ring; hoping it was her mother Zeina rushed out of the bathroom to pick it up.

“Alo?” She spoke breathlessly into the phone.

“Hi, is this Mr. Manaf Al Flani’s residence?” An American man spoke back.

“Umm yes, this is his wife can I help you?” Zeina replied taken aback, it was unusual for someone from Manaf’s workplace to call the apartment number.

“Yes this is Michael from Doctor Millers office…please remind him that he has an appointment with Doctor Miller in half an hour and not to be late.”

“He has a what? Are you sure?” she replied confused

“Yes Ma’am, he scheduled it two weeks ago. We have all his reports we’re ready to fit him in for testing today.”

“What kind of Doctor is he?” She muttered, beginning to panic.

“Doctor Miller is one of the most esteemed Oncologists in the country ma’am and he runs one of New York’s handful of top Cancer Clinics! You’re husband is in good hands”

Zeina got off the phone, her hand shaking too severely for her to place it back on the handset properly.

She quickly stumbled to the balcony for fresh air as her head began to cloud with dizziness.

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[20 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Sincere Apologies… Part 9 | 2 views]

Everyday, for the past 3 weeks, M7amad has been calling me. Sometimes, more than often, he’d just call to ‘check and see how I was doing’. Everyday, things got better between us, and so, I decided that today I was going to tell him how I truly felt abo…

Everything Else »

[19 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on After those Beeps.. pt 13 | 2 views]

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[19 Mar 2009 | Comments Off on Foolish Games.. (10) | 2 views]

You guuuuuuuys!! I love you guys! *blush* Thank you for all your comments! This is going to be an extra long post cuz you guys freaking rock! So this is dedicated to all of youuu! Hope you guys like it;***
Oh and to answer your questions, I take so long to post lana I’m juggling more subjects than I ever have before at uni and it’s totally rape!! :( So, I’m sorry for posting 1.4 times a week but I’ll try to post more, pinkie swear!
And Wa7da Qabiya.. still can’t help but feel it’s offensive to repeat it! ;p Why’d you cry? :O It was a happy post, no?
Aishah.. you’re too cute! lol I read your comments as I was writing this!
SlouchyPants.. just wanted to publically mention how amazing you are ;p
I really wanna reply to all your comments bas like.. wayid and I’m lazy.. and I have to finish writing this, bas I’ll reply to kilhum next time!
Did I mention that I freaking love you guys? Especially my regular commenters! You guys know who you are;* And all my silent readers.. ah, what the heck, I LOVE KILKUM :p Especially lost! ;* Oh and the anonymouses, too cute lol thank you for speaking up! w RE-CONSIDER PLEASE, LOL you have no idea how much I laughed when I saw your name Okay, next post! Enjoy!


-2 weeks later-

It was here. The day I’ve been dreading since that phone call two weeks ago. It was inevitable and sort of looming above me this entire time but its arrival has just made the reality of facing what’s to come so much harder than I initially thought. Khalood was leaving and my heart was shattering into a million tiny pieces.

“You awake?” Juju asked groggily from across the room. “What am I thinking, of course you’re awake and showered too if my nose isn’t playing games with me.”

“Yup.” I replied sullenly

“Allah are you using the new shower gel we got last week?”


“Yay, so using it when I find the energy to get up, you smell yummy! And I mean that in the most un-lesbionic sort of way!”


“You’re not up to using full sentences yet, are you?”

“Nope.” I confirmed

“Aww baby!!” She cooed as she got up and jumped into bed with me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and hugged me tightly, “Don’t worry, he’ll be back before you know it, I promise!”

I gave her a disgruntled look in response to what she said. Before I know it isn’t soon enough, It isn’t the same when he’s not here. I know that he’ll always be there for me no matter what and that he’d drop everything the instant he sensed there was something wrong, but it doesn’t compare to the security I feel knowing that he’s right around the block, should I ever need him. But it isn’t about me and I have to suck it up and not make things harder than they must already be for him.

“Ya 7mara ya3ni mu tarsa 3ainich? Won’t I do for the next couple of months? Hmm?”

“Meh.” I replied to infuriate her as I shrugged. She gasped in outrage. I hugged her back to make ammends and show her that I was kidding.

“Come on, I know there’s nothing more comfortable than your fuzzy robe but you need to get dressed! You said you’d be there at 9 to make breakfast, so yalla! I’m gonna go jump in the shower, try not to fall apart while I’m gone, kay?”

“Shda3wa Juju, I’m fine!” I said as I rolled my eyes at her.

She gasped loudly, “Words! Multiple! Aaaaah!!” She hugged me again and went to the bathroom.

I took a cue from her and got up to get dressed. I didn’t feel like dealing with my curls so I towel-dried them, applied a little leave-in conditioner and hoped to god they wouldn’t go frizzy. My face on the other hand needed a bit more work, I barely recognized the girl in the mirror, Note to self: Get some sleep!! My skin had a grayish cast to it and my eyes were in desperate need of concealer. I moisturized, applied a little concealer and blush for color. I stared at my mascara for a few minutes and decided I could benefit from a little bit of that too. I shoved my legs into the first pair of jeans that fell out of my closet and paired them up with a black turtleneck and a jean vest. Khalood’s parents were travelling and his brothers already said goodbye before they left for work and university that morning.

“Lose the flats, put on the black patent pumps, wear the gold necklace thingie I was wearing yesterday and for the love of god, lipstick!! No negotiations. Stop pouting and do it!”

“Bossy, much?” I asked, she smirked in reply.

I didn’t feel like arguing so I automatically did everything she told me to, “That’s my girl!” She said as she beamed at me, “Go warm up the car hun, I’ll be there in 5!”

I couldn’t help but laugh incredulously, “Really? 5 minutes? You’re fresh out of the shower and you expect me to believe you’ll be ready in 5?”

“Hey!” she replied indignantly, “I’d throw a pillow at you but I don’t wanna mess up your face, don’t underestimate me bitch, I can do it!”

I laughed and went to the car to do as she said, surprisingly she made it in 10 minutes. Granted, it wasn’t the previously discussed 5 minutes but still, quite impressive. I decided to put on a happy face and try to make it a good day. It could be much worse after all, right? We got there 15 minutes later and found 3azeez’s car parked out front. I involuntarily felt a smile spreading across my face.

“Oooooo look who’s coming around!” She exclaimed as she wiggled her eyebrows at me as we walked slowly through the garden to the house.

I giggled. “Shh, Juju bas!”

“Ghalooy bala malaqa, I haven’t done this in over a year! How’s it going between you guys 9ij? You never talk about it!”

“It’s going well I think, I haven’t been talking about it ’cause I really do not want to jinx it? But yeah, it’s going okay, we’re getting to know each other, he’s incredible.. we’re taking things slow.” I said as I smiled a little to myself.

“Really?” She asked as she raised an eyebrow, “And do you want to be taking it slow?”

She knows me too well, “I don’t know? I mean, I don’t wanna rush things, but I can’t help but feel we’re falling a little into the “friends” category? He said he doesn’t wanna come on too strong, maybe that’s it? He’s just giving me space but I don’t know..” I trailed off uncertainly.

“Awww look at you all adorable and insecure about you guys! Honey, I’ve seen the way he looks at you when he thinks nobody’s looking, trust me, you are NOT his friend!” She assured me.

I blushed a little, “You really think so?”

“Honeyyy, which one of us has only had one really bad relationship?”

I glared at her, “I am?”

“Right, and which one of us is in a successful two year long relationship?” She asked

“Doing a little backdoor bragging, are we?” I asked, amused.

She laughed, “Maaybe, but that’s not the point, trust me when I tell you, the boy is utterly smitten!”

I smiled, feeling much better and rang the doorbell, Khalood answered seconds later with a huge smile that went away when he saw me.

“You look like shit.” He said as he wrapped me in a giant bear hug.

I laughed, “Ouch? Thank you very much!”

I looked up to find 3azeez looking at us as he walked to the door. He smiled and I thanked God Khalood was hugging me ’cause at that moment I could’ve sworn I was going to melt. That face, that dimple, that man. Sigh. I smiled back and mouthed a “Hi.”

“7aram 3alaik, she looks pretty damn beautiful to me.” He said with utter sincerity. How could I have ever thought we were just friends? I blushed and looked away, my eyes met Ritaj’s and she gave me “told you so” smile. I rolled my eyes and squeezed Khaled back tighter before I let go.

“How’re you doing?” I asked him

“Better than you are, obviously! What’s all this? Laish mu nayma?” He asked, slightly angry.

“I need to get new friends who HAVEN’T known me since I was a kid! I’m fine walla, I’m allowed to be a little sad!

“A little?” he said disbelievingly as he hugged Juju.

“Kaifi! I’m going to go get breakfast started, you better like it!” I threatened as I walked to the kitchen.

I went to the fridge and got out the eggs I needed to make pancakes, waffles and well.. eggs. When I closed the door, I found 3azeez standing behind it. I gasped and accidentally dropped two eggs. Just my luck!

“Sorry,” I mumbled as he laughed, “you startled me!”

“Then I’m the one who should be apologizing, don’t you think? He asked as he took some of the eggs from me.

“Thank you!” I said gratefully. “How’ve you been?”

“Not bad, I’ve missed you though..” He answered.

“Oh?” I asked, “But we talked last night, haven’t you had enough of me?” I said, attempting to make it seem like I didn’t miss him too.

“We only talked a little and I haven’t seen you in days! Besides,” He said as he came behind me and whispered in my ear, “I’ll never have enough of you.”

I blushed and looked up at him, he was directly behind me and our faces were, once again, inches apart. Chills were running up and down my spine as we looked into each other’s eyes. We’ve had many of these moments in the past two weeks, perfect settings for our lips to lock and put me out of my misery. He needs to stop doing that to me, I’ve never given much thought to my first kiss before but with him, it seems to be all I can think of. His gaze dropped to my lips and I gave up all pretense of breathing. This was it. His turned me around to face him, wrapped his arms around me and leaned in closer as-

“Am I interrupting something? Khalood’s voice asked from the kitchen door.

I looked up to find Khalood and Juju’s faces looking back at us with very conflicting looks. Ritaj was all jumpy and her eyes were twinkling mischievously, while Khalood looked.. pissed off? I was surprised at his reaction, he seemed to be perfectly fine with the idea of Me and 3azooz in the past.

“3azooz, ta3al wiyay, bakalmik shway.” Khalood clipped as he headed for the direction of the living room.

“Busteeeeeeeed!” Ritaj’s voice sang out from the door as she skipped happily to me.

3azeez’s arms involuntarily dropped from around me and he followed Khaled to the living room.

Ritaj giggled next to me and I smacked her arm lightly, “Chub! Shfeeh Khalood? This isn’t like him, what do you think he wants to say to him?” I asked anxiously.

“Shdarani, probably something along the lines of “and if you ever hurt her, I’ll cut your thingies off and staple them to your cheeks!” “

I laughed, “Way3a Juuj! Mental image, yuck! He wouldn’t say that!”

“Why not, I would! He’s been meaning to have that talk with him for a while now but I guess the seriousness of it all just hit him? Plus, he doesn’t have much time left, so yeah!”

“What? Min mita? You’ve known about this w mu gaylatly? Oh my God, walla fashla, he’s gonna scare the guy off!”

She burst out laughing, “Wild horses couldn’t drive the guy away, 7adda he’s gonna be around for a while, I can feel it!” She said, bubbling with excitement, “So if Khalood hadn’t interrupted you guys, you would’ve..” She trailed off suggestively.

I blushed at the thought, “So not ready to talk about it yet! Come on, grab a glass, let’s go eavesdrop!”

She giggled excitedly and whispered, “We haven’t done this in ages!”

“I know, right?” I whispered back, “Shh I can’t hear them!”


“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Khalood asked angrily.

“I thought you didn’t have feelings for her?” 3azeez replied calmly.

“Not in the way you think, she’s my sister, the least you can do is respect the fact that I’m trusting you with her!”

“Calm down, shda3wa Khalood? I’ve been nothing but respectable ma3aha, I’m not playing with the girl!” he yelled back.

“Not playing, ha? And what do you call the scene I witnessed earlier? Are you serious about her?”

3azeez drew a deep breath, “I’m crazy about her man, she’s not like other girls, there’s just something about her that keeps drawing me back to her, I don’t know what it is and I don’t wanna question it or put a name to it.”

“You’ve been like a brother to me and I respect and value you very much, but if you should hurt her in any way-” Khalood said warningly.

“I know.” 3azeez interrupted, “We okay?”

“Until you give me reason not to be, yeah we’re cool. Sorry if my reaction was extreme, I just need to leave knowing she’s in good hands.”

“She is, trust me man, I’ve never given you reason not to in the past.” 3azeez reassured Khaled.

Outside the living room..

“My ears stopped working!” Ritaj whispered to me, “Can you hear anything?” She asked as she pressed the glass harder against the wall.

“Juju, I think I hear footsteps,” I said as I stood up straight and away from the wall, “Wakhray quick before-“

The door opened and the guys were standing there, looking at Ritaj with amused looks on their faces.

“Ritaj?” Khaled asked, urging her to explain herself.

“Um.. um.. I uhh,” she replied unintelligibly.

I stepped in and took control of the situation, “It’s just that we felt like drinking freshly squeezed orange juice and we just got our nails done yesterday and you guys know how clumsy I am, wouldn’t wanna chip a nail!” I lied expertly, “So we figured, maybe you boys could put on some cute little aprons and squeeze them for us?” I asked coyly.

3azooz smiled indulgently at me, like he would at a child, said sure and headed for the kitchen right away. Khalood on the other hand looked at our faces, mumbled, “Chipped nails, my ass.” and followed 3azeez to the kitchen. Ritaj mouthed a quick thank you to me and we skipped off together after the guys.

The guys left as soon as they finished making the juice, saying that they were “in desperate need of man time” and went off to play videos games. Yeah right, “man time”, I rolled my eyes inwardly. We interrupted their game 40 minutes later when we called them in for breakfast, we sat at the kitchen table and ate gigantic stacks of pancakes and Khalood munched on his special waffles, they were his favorite.

As soon as they finished eating, the guys got up to continue their “tournament”. We followed them to find out they were playing Street Fighter on the Xbox 360.

“I WANNA PLAY, I WANNA PLAY, I WANNA PLAY!!!” Ritaj screamed excitedly.

I laughed and joined in, “Me too, me too, me too!!”

Ritaj’s eyes widened, “Oh my god! GHALA SHOULD TOTALLY PLAY AGAINST 3AZEEZ!!!”

We laughed and looked at each other, “Mm, I’m not sure how much 3azeez’ll like me after I embarrass him by kicking his ass..” I taunted.

The guys burst out laughing, “Yalla, wareena sha6artich.” 3azeez said, accepting my challenge.

Needless to say, he won. Four times in a row. And yet, I kept asking for rematches! After the sixth time I gave up, “Hey! You wanna see how we used to play when we were kids??” I asked.

He laughed, “Sure, show me!”

The fight started and I proceeded to randomly push all the buttons simultaneously and jumped non-stop, getting closer to the screen every time. Surprisingly it worked and I ended up winning a round for a change. 3azeez couldn’t stop laughing at the ridiculous picture I painted, but effective is effective! So I tried it again and ended up losing this time.

“Not fair, it worked the first time!” I said as I pouted.

“Yeah, but the first time, your controller was actually on.” He said as he indicated the button wasn’t lit anymore.

“Oh, oops.” I replied embarrassed and gave up. We gave our controllers to Juju and Khalood and sat down while they screamed at each other just like they did when we were younger.

3azeez got up and changed his seat to the one right next to me on the sofa. I felt goosebumps all over my skin as he looked at me and smiled. He took my hand off of my lap and dropped a kiss onto my palm. I blushed harder than I ever have before and waited for him to let go. He didn’t, instead he turned my hand, placed another kiss there and wove his fingers in between mine. My heart quickened at our contact and I knew it would never beat at a normal pace again if he kept looking at me that way. So i broke eye contact and rested my head on his shoulders, I was already getting dizzy from his intoxicating scent.

“How’re you feeling?” He asked.

“I’m alright, I’ve definately been better, but having you here is making things way better.” I said and he wrapped an arm around me. I snuggled in deeper against his chest.

“Mm you smell incredible, it’s distracting.” He murmured into my hair.

I giggled, “A7san, I don’t want you to be thinking of anything else but me.” I whispered.

“Trust me, ever since I met you, I’ve practically been unable of thinking of anything else.” He replied.

“Uh.. I hate to interrupt your moment, but it’s time for me to leave.” Khalood announced.

“Already??” I asked as I sat up.

“Yeah babe, I told you I had to be there by 11, it’s already 10.30, we really need to get going.” He said with a sad smile.

“Are we going in two separate cars?” Ritaj inquired as she fixed her hair in the mirror.

“It makes no sense for us to do that, how ’bout we go in 3azooz’s car, and he’ll drop you guys off back here later?” Khalood suggested.

“Sure but I already have a ride back, Mshary’s picking me up from the airport, do you mind G?”

“Not at all hun, shda3wa, I’m sure 3azooz doesn’t bite.” I said in a lame attempt at a joke.

He smiled sympathetically at me, picked up Khalood’s bag and we all headed to the car. He kept glancing at me through the rear view mirror the entire time to check up on me, I was touched by his concern but hoped he would stop, I wasn’t used to being showered with this much attention. It was nice but also a little unsettling, I couldn’t let my guard down for one second.

The trip to airport was much shorter than I expected, I reluctantly got out of the car and followed the guys and Ritaj to the departure hall. I still wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Khalood yet and briefly debated the merit of buying a ticket, just so I could have a little more time with him before he left.

“So, I guess this is it..” Khalood said as he smiled sheepishly at me.

I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore, and started crying silently as he wrapped his arms around me. “Come on Ghalooy, you’ll be fine! You have Ritaj and 3azooz, don’t worry!” He said in an attempt to comfort me.

“Mabeehum, ikhith’hum ma3ak!” I replied.

He burst out laughing, “Afa! Yalla sweetie, I think we have to let go now..”

I quickly wiped away my tears and let go of him. “I’m going to miss you so much, call me as soon as you get there, I’ll never forgive you if you don’t!” I threatened.

He laughed again, “I love how you give me the same warning everytime, don’t worry, I will. You take care kiddo, alright?”

I nodded. He hugged Ritaj and 3azooz, “You guys take care of her for me, alright?”

“Duh! Like you even had to ask!” Ritaj answered. I looked up to see that she was tearing up as well.

“You can count on it.” 3azooz replied, “Bilsalama.”

“Allah isalmik 7abeebi.” He looked at me, “Are you going to be okay?”

I laughed, “Psh, I’m always okay, you worry too much!” he smiled, unconvinced, but he couldn’t do anything about it. He gave me one final hug.

“Alright then, ma3a ilsalama.” He took his bag from 3azooz, smiled at us and walked away.

“Mshary’s outside, I have to leave as well, you’re gonna be fine!” She assured me as she hugged me, “I’ll sleep over tonight, we can pig out and talk about boys!” she grinned and left too.

I stared at his figure as he walked away, I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I couldn’t help but feel a little lost without him, he’s such a big part of who I am and the distance kills me. But I had to learn how to depend on myself, I needed to be stronger and to not fall apart whenever he left. As much as I loved him and knew that he loved me too, he wouldn’t always be mine. I accepted that, but it still didn’t stop the tears from running down my face with every step he took. I kept watching him til he disappeared in the crowd.

“Ghala.. yalla 7abeebti we have to go..”

I looked up, I had forgotten that 3azeez was there the whole time. I silently walked over to him, put my arms around him and cried into his chest. His arms automatically wrapped around me.

“Baby, this is torture walla, I can’t see you like this, jad it’s killing me.” He whispered as he wiped away my tears.

“I’m sorry,” I managed to stammer and tried to control myself, I knew I couldn’t as long as we were at the airport, “yalla let’s go.”

“You don’t look like you’re in any state to drive.. how about I take you home and I’ll bring your car to you?” He suggested.

“Actually, I don’t think I’m ready to go home yet.. Do you mind dropping me off at the beach?” I asked tentatively.

“Not at all, do you mind if I joined you?” He asked smilingly as he reached out and held my hand.

“Not at all.” I replied as I smiled back.