HEYY ;* 3eedkom mbarak ;*THE POST OF THE WEEK !Dedicated to Laymoon , without you this story WOULD BE NOTHING ! , shftay?? i confessed ;p thanx for the help ;************ ………… *FLASHBACK*7amadgimt mn el noum , baddalt o nizalt ta7at l7adee8a s…

HEYY ;* 3eedkom mbarak ;*THE POST OF THE WEEK !Dedicated to Laymoon , without you this story WOULD BE NOTHING ! , shftay?? i confessed ;p thanx for the help ;************ ………… *FLASHBACK*7amadgimt mn el noum , baddalt o nizalt ta7at l7adee8a s…

3eedkom imbarak mo8adaman ;D o 3asakom min il 3aydeeen wil fayzeen inshallah, o inshallah yin3ad 3alayna o 3alaykom ib kil 5air o 9i7a o salamalove u;***

L 3eeD 3LaaaaiKuM MbaRaK !! As2al Allah iN Y3oDaH 3LaiKuM BiL 97aH wiL SLaMaH Snynin MdaYd :D :D !!!il 3thr 3ala il g9oor =)One sunny school day 6:30 am to be precise, my mother gave us the regular shout of our consistent tardiness. I was admiring the…

Masaaaakoum allah bil 5aaair ;*Waaaaaaay el mu6ar iyaaanin

Previously on Oh Doctor, Doctor.

…(The letter)…

I’d appreciate if this is kept to
yourself as
I’m not ready to inform every one, pity is something I’m not looking
for at
the moment my strength is supplied from their normal
life.

Thank you.

Nouf.

Another hot tear made it’s way down
his face.

———————————

There are so many
difficulties we face during our daily lives, some of them not a tad bit easy. Hamad was going
through a break up; more like bidding farewell to his soul mate. He received this letter
two months ago, meaning her bright, radiant self would no longer spread the
happiness around her after the passing of these four months yet to
come.

Just two months ago was the
first time reality had hit him that hard. Even though you see the people around
you whom are alike but you never think that this could happen to your loved ones
or your family, friends, etc.

You never think that this may happen
to you, except when it does, and this is when it hits you hard. We’re not
different. We’re the same. Whatever is written for us is how it’s going to be,
you can’t change that and it’s a fact.

Don’t
go like “I wish I could go back and change things, I would’ve done this and
that…” that simply isn’t helping you now. You have to
live the moment. Enjoy it. Love it. Live it. It’s simple, just go with the
associated flow. It’s never too late, even if it was, better late than
never, right?

Every single person has
his/her day written ahead of him. Correction: Everybody has their entire life
planned ahead of them. You can’t do anything to change how it is. Where ever
fate plans to take us, it eventually will.

He
felt his body stiffen up. He got up from his arm chair and threw the vase in
front of him and smashed it into the wall.

“Why?” he cried.

He got up and walked towards the
fire. Just when he was going to throw the letter from his hand, a hand slowly
pulled his arm backwards, taking the letter away from his hand.

“You don’t want to do that,” his brother said.

He turned around with his red eyes and tired face and
hugged him. Nhayan
hugged him back.

They both walked to the
sofa and sat down.

“She told me,” he
said patting his back while he had his face in his hands.

“When did you come?” he asked his
brother.

“I just arrived…remember you
gave me a spare key, that’s how I got in,”

“Shasawy
ya Nhayan, shasawy el7een?”

“Let her be,”

“You do realise that this is hard, do you? I have been with her every
minute of my life this past year, not physically but I have. Shloon a3eesh bdoonha? Do you know how
hard that’s going to be?”

“I
do,” her voice came from behind, “You think I don’t
know? You think this isn’t hard on me too? You think that I wanted this to
happen?” a few tears escaped her eye.

“Nouf?”

“Yes Hamad, it’s me, Nouf! Hamad, you have to move
on.”

Nhayan
got up and slowly disappeared to the back of the house.

“Inta ma ga3ed et7is bly ana ga3da a7esa! For God’s sake Hamad, stop being so selfish!” she
fell to the ground as she started to cry.

He rushed to where she was and scooped her
up. He was shocked at how light she has become and it shattered his heart to a
million pieces.
He waited for her to calm down and her breathing to equalize and headed
upstairs. He watched as her tears silently slipped down her rosy cheeks and he
laid her on the bed. He sat on the bed but she extended her hand wanting him to
join her.

“5ala9 Noufa, you just
came. Akeed ta3bana, rest 7abeebty,” he kissed her
forehead as she slowly drifted off to sleep.

He played with her hair as she cuddled next to him unconsciously. He
inhaled her smell as it burned his lungs. He longed for her smell…mostly, he
longed for her. After some time he remembered Nhayan. He got up to cover her petite body, kissed
her cold cheek, closed the lights behind him and went to look for his
brother.

“Nhayan,” he called him.

He searched for him at the back of the house but didn’t find him. He
looked for him everywhere until he found him sitting on the front steps of the
house having a smoke.

“So, what’s going
to happen next?” Nhayan asked him.

“I don’t know,” he closed his eyes as he rubbed his cold hands
together.

Eid Mubarak xo.

P.S. A million thanks to Mama Z! You ROCK!

P.P.S. Dazzy, more spoilers are on the way ;)

Zain

Allah y7ayeki t3ali 3ala Jeddah.. ra7 tnawreenha ;**
As for 5aled haha I know the three of us can cause him serious pain if he does/did anything ;p
Your adorable I love you <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



We talked everyday for the next two months, we grew really close.

The diffrence btween us is that I dated three guys all in one year while all he had was one.

He told me about this girl Fa6ma and how she broke his heart. They were together for about a year.

Remember he went the summer before to the same camp Meeny was in ? Well while he was there he asked one of his CLOSE guy friend to keep an eye on her. That meaning to make sure she’s taken care of when she needed anything or if she wanted to contact 5aled and couldnt reach him, she would ask his friend to deliever the message for her.

This close friend of his only had Fa6ma’s email. So they contacted eachother through msn.

While they were both online, Fa6ma asked him (the close guy friend) to open up the webcam. He did.

They talked a bit and then she started to un-button her blouse.

And he didnt even try to stop her.

Although this wasnt really concidred cheating, it was under the same category.

What was really sad was that 5aled had to find out about it from one of his other friends. I mean imagine your on vacation having the time of your life with your friends and then you get a sudden unexpected call telling you that your lover has betrayed you.

How he must have felt. Heartbroken. Depressed. Embaressed. Shocked.

I was so sorry for him I wanted to do something so bad. I wanted to call her!! Aghhh I was so angry. I mean I could relate to what he’s going through. The way I felt, he felt it too.

He waited until he got back from camp and then confronted her. She denied it which made him even more angry. Lying right to his face. El mohim He broke up with her and that was the end of it.





The first time I saw him was so weird. The place wasn’t right. Looking back I actualy laugh at how silly I was.

I was 15 going to be 16 in 2 months and a half ((August 25th .. dont forget ;p)

Anyways My guy cousins and I were so bored one day that we just wanted to get out of the house and go anywhere. We had no clue where to go so we decided to cruise around in the car and see if anything pops up.

Don’t laugh bs we got so excited once we saw Chukie Cheese :$ heheh…

We felt like acting like little kids that day. We were so bored we were up for anything just to pass the time!

We all had a mini break at that time, and 5aled (who lives in Riyadh) was in Jeddah. He and his family come evrey chance they get. They practicaly lived here.

It wasnt even planned or anything bs I just called him and asked him to come.

On of my guy cousins, Zooz (his nickname) also went to camp with Meeny that summer and also was friends with 5aled. So we were worried about what Zooz would do. So I suggested we act as if we didnt know eachother, we hadnt even told anyone that we were friends. Not Meeny or Zooz, I was afraid they’d get the wrong idea due to my past and how they pushed themselves in to know everything.

The plan was that 5aled would see Zooz and act like this was all a coincidence, seeing him and all. That would lead to all of us hanging out together with one of 5aled’s friend that he brought along.

So he got there but the security guard wouldnt let him in. You know how it sometimes is, if the security guard doesnt like what he sees, he wont let you in. Agh I hate it when they think they have the upmost power.

He called me and told me what happend. So I came out and tried to talk to the guard. I insisted but he just said no flat out. I tried everything, even saying that they were my cousins but he still woudlnt budge. I gave up and told 5aled I was sorry I made him come all the way out here for nothing. He told me “hey its ok, atleast I finaly got to see you”

Awwwwwwwwwwwww !! Isnt he adorable.. ;***

That was the first time I ever saw 5aled. It wasnt the perfect way, but hey he didnt complain :D

I wanted to see him again but I couldnt risk getting caught. I was still feeling guilty about not telling my mom that he and I were friends, plus all my cousins from Riyadh were here so anyplace we meet up at I was bound to run into someone I know.

He went back to Riyadh and we continued out daily chats.

Do friends talk to eachother 5 hours a day? Cause we would talk in the after noon from like 3 to 5, and then again from 11 at night until like 2 am.

I knew he had feelings for me I just knew it. He wasnt that well at hiding them. I didnt wanna embaress him bysaying anything, so I just brushed it off my shoulder.

During the end of March my grandfather started to get sick. He spent many months in and out of the hospital. The whole family flew in and we were all by his side. I would totaly forget about everything in my life including 5aled and rush straight to the hospital after school and just sit by his side holding his hand.

Like I already told you before, I was really close with my grandfather. I was the closet grandchild to him. Secretly I was his favorite. <3

I loved him so much that when I saw him the first time in the ICU I broke down and cried. I ran in and sat by him and held his hand. I rested my head on the bead and started to cry. It broke my heart seeing him like this.

This is so hard for me to write because I loved him so much. He was more of a father to me than my dad ever was!! He was there for me more than my dad could ever be!! Just by looking into his eyes I knew he loved and cared about me more than my dad ever did !!

Im actualy crying right now..

Allah yr7amik ybooy w allah yd5alik el janah ya rabbb ya rabbbb ya rabbbb !!

Ya rbii.. ok I’m all better now. Bismilah al r7man al r7eem. Here we go.

One day when I was at the hospital, I wanted to take a breather so I went out onto the balcony. I needed someone to loosen me up so I called 5aled. We talked and he made me laugh and feel a little better.

Then he suggested we play a game.. truth or dare. I hate that game, especialy when your playing it on the phone. I find the game lame and pointless.

So he asked the first question.. one I never thought he’d ask… well not yet.



5aled: Doody… I want you to be mine… my girlfriend… will you ?

Me: ………. Aha….

5aled: You there ?

Me: Yeah…

5aled: So ?

Me: So how’ve you been ?

5aled: Doody you didnt answer my question

Me: What question ?

5aled: You know what 5ala9 never mind.

Me: 5aled…

5aled: Na3am ?

Me: I cant..

5aled: Yeah…

Me: It’s not that I dont want to but I dont want to be with someone behind my mothers back. I cant lose her trust again. I love her too much to hurt her again. Your an amazing person and I would say yes but I just cant right now. My grandfather’s in the hospital. He’s my main concern right now. I dont want to be with someone and my mother has no idea. You have to understand that my mother comes first.

5aled: Ofcourse I completley agree with what you. I understand wallah. But were still gonna be friends right ?

Me: Yeah.

5aled: *sigh* Ok good.

Me: Please dont be upset with me. I’m sorry if I hurt you.

5aled: Doody dont be sorry. Bl3ax I have so much respect for you right now. Keberti eb 3aini. Mashallah awal marah ashoof w7da zayik.

Me: Thank you.

5aled: Walaw..

And that was how I turned him down. I didnt want to, but I had to. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices for our own good. And like one thing 5aled taught me, “if something doesnt go your way it just means something better is coming your way”. I truly do believe in those words.

There was no awkwardness when we talked after what happend. We went back to normal, just being friends. It didnt effect us one bit. It was like it never happend.

On May 11… after midnight.. that’s when everything changed…

In the following five days, we celebrate a joint occasion: Thanksgiving and Eid ul Adha.
Regardless of what religion you follow and what culture you belong to – and it could be any day really, and anyone passing through here – I hope that during this period we can focus our collective conciousness on the sharing [...]

When any of us mentions the word cancer, our voice level tends to go down and the word reverberates in the air like an anathema. Many of us would opt not to go for cancer screening simply because we are afraid of the results. Often, however, early detection and treatment does save lives.
When someone you [...]

When i got home after graduation i immediately called Fahad. It was around 12.30 at night.  He let ring for a while and then picked up.   Fahad: “Hala Jude..” Me: “Fahad wainek?"” Fahad: “Bil bait” Me: “No i mean wain ri7t? Why did you leave in the middle of my speech? Feek shay? Did something happen?” Fahad: “Jude, min 9ijech intay??” Me: “Shino? Whats going on? Laish m3a9eb?” Fahad: “

When i got home after graduation i immediately called Fahad. It was around 12.30 at night.  He let ring for a while and then picked up.   Fahad: “Hala Jude..” Me: “Fahad wainek?"” Fahad: “Bil bait” Me: “No i mean wain ri7t? Why did you leave in the middle of my speech? Feek shay? Did something happen?” Fahad: “Jude, min 9ijech intay??” Me: “Shino? Whats going on? Laish m3a9eb?” Fahad: “

Two posts in one day.. see how much I love you all ;p

This post is dedicated to 7aWoOrY

Ive come to know her a bit and I have say Mashallah 3ala hal bnt.. a strong person whom we can all learn from her blog. It taught me so much.

This post is for you 7ubii I love you! ;**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before you know what happend with “him” you have to know how “he” and I met.

On November in 2007 my cousin Meeny (her nickname) called me up asking me to go with her to camp in the summer of 2008. I really wanted to but knew my parents would not approve. But after hearing me out they both said ok. My mom said it was mainly in my dad’s hands not mine. W el 7mdelah my dad said ok.

I was so excited. We both were. Meeny went the year before and told me how amazing it is. She filled me in on everything and I just kept imagining myself there having fun and all that. I couldnt wait.

But then Meeny called me up in a week saying that she changed her mind, and changed her mind and said she’s not gonna go. I was shocked and devestated. Why ?! After she practicly came crawling begging me to go with her. Why??

So anyways the next day I log onto facebook and see that she’s invited me to a group called “If 100 people join this group ill come to blah blah blah”

Yes I know a very weird way of getting the “yes please come” from people.

So I accepted and saw that so far only 5 people joined. I read all the names and this one name popped out…

” 5aled Al – Flani “

His name sounded familiar.

You see when Meeny back from her first summer at camp she came back with many stories to tell. And in most of them 5aled’s name was mentioned. She told me he was a very sweet guy and they were good friends over there.

So I decided to send him a message to try and convince her to come next year. Since she talked highly of him I thought hey it’s worth a shot.

He replied back to me saying ok he’ll try. And we havent spoken until February 2008 where he sent me a message on Facebook.

I forgot all about the guy. Everything!

5aled – hey dina remember me ? :p

Me – mmmm sorry i dont.. who are you ?

5aled – ((he reminded me))

Me – ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh looool im so sorry walla i forgot :p

5aled – lol 3adi so how have you been ?

Me – tamam wallah you ?

5aled – good good.. i wanted to tell you that I talked to Meeny and she said she’s gonna go.

Me – badriiiiiiiiiiiiii its been like 2 months !

5aled – heheh (A)

Me – but too bad i wont be going ;””’(

5aled – laish !!!

Me – daddy said no.. the whole time he thought it was an all girls camp. and when he found out he went insane !

5aled – 5asara ;s

Me – i know !

After that conversation we talked about manyother stuff. He then asked for my email and I said yes. I dont know why bs art7telo.. i felt at ease talking to him so 3ala6ool I gave him my email.

We started to get close.. as friends only. We spoke chatted everyday for an hour or two. But yet we still hadn’t exchanged numbers.

He was diffirent than the rest. How could I tell by just chatting right ? Well dont ask, cause I dont know how to even explain it.

Then one day I told him I wanted to log out cause I had some stuff to do. And he told me “ok dina but if you ever need anything here’s my number”.

Strangly I didnt think aha he so wants me or yeah yeah a plan to get me to call. No. I actualy believed his intentions were good.

I kinda forgot about me saving his number and just went on with life. Haha! I forgot all about it..

Then one day I was at the salon waiting for the driver to come pick me up. And when I’m bored I hate to just sit around and stare at the floor. I have to call or text somebody. So I started scanning my phonebook until I saw his name. I was like huh when did I save his number. Then I remembered and called him right away. Just like that, without a though I pressed the call button.



Me: 5aled ?

5aled: E hallah meen ?

Me: Uhh its me Dina.

5aled: Ah hallah Dina kfk ?

Me: Good wallah you ?

5aled: Nwarti youmi wallah..

Me: Haha y3ainy 3al kthb

5aled: La wallah !

Me: Whatever..

5aled: Laish fj2a al7een tklmeeny b3d a week ?

Me: You said to call when I really needed you.

5aled: Bismilah 3leeki 5air wsh feeh ?

Me: Well now I really need you to entertain me cause I’m bored !

5aled: Hahaha !! So your using me huh ?

Me: Alright fine I’ll hang up if you want.. Bye..

5aled: LA LA !! WAIT !!

Me: Mmm hmm ?

5aled: Since you called and all stay.



We talked for 3 whole hours !! And that was just the first phone call !! :D

He was so sweet. I felt a connection with him. I was my complete self, no lies nothing. Just me.

We instintly hit it off and went on and on talking not stopping for even a minute. It was like we were the two missing pieces of a puzzel. We fit.

Though I wasnt getting my hopes up for him too high. I just wanted him as a friend. I didnt wanna jump into anything. I didnt wanna have him behind my mothers back. I mean she didnt know that me and him were friends and so I felt guilty enough. But not just guilt, I also didnt want, well I wasnt ready to have a man in my life again. I was too afraid of getting hurt again.

So I kept my distance and kept him as a friend. During a short period of time we managed to became very good friends.

I wanna tell you a little more about him.

He was tall. Beautiful mid-tone color skin. Killer brown eyes. Full lips (i kinda hate that but they all have their bad right? ;p ). Curly hair. So fit that you could hit him with a brick.

Yup I could see all this from his pictures on facebook.

I know some of you are going.. why does she always meet guys online ?

Well here in Jeddah the internet isnt the only option for us. We have so many. There are alot of mixed parties. The beach. Friends of friends. School. All of that.

But me, I rarley go to mix parties. First I’m not allowed and second I dont want to and I’m not really in the mood for mixed and all that.

Back to 5aled. He was a year older than me. Bs mashallah 3a8lo kbeer. What I hated about him though was that he was sometimes over sensitive
Those two things are what I hate most in a man !! I told myself that if anything ever happend between the two of us I would change that right away. I mean its not good for him aswell as its not good for me!

Despite the habits in him. I liked him. I liked him as a friend but deep down, way deep down inside I kinda had feelings for him. Not strong feelings, but just kinda.

He understood me.

I cant believe it, but I opend up about my past with him and he helped me and talked to me. He actualy made me forgive myself. He made me look at what happend in a good way. He told me that everything happens for a reason. He told me people make mistakes and learn from them. He told me that he thinks I’m a strong person and he admires me for it. He said so many stuff like that that really made me feel a little better.

Who knew that this guy would have such an effect on me.

5aled… ahhhhh ya 5aled !

Just please dont break my heart !

Previously on Oh Doctor, Doctor.

“Mama, I’ll talk to you later,” and she closed the phone.

“I’m really really sorry, my bad. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“Neither was I,” she rolled her eyes.

“Umm, excuse me?”

“Nothing,” she walked to the rubbish bin, threw the papers and simply walked away.

Wow, someones not having a good day today…he thought to himself.

—————————-

As Beethoven’s soft music played from his stereo system which could be heard all over the house; the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedrooms, everywhere, he carefully added the finishing touches to his salad.

He drizzled the olive oil and his favorite vintage Italian vinaigrette on the top and added a few pieces of fresh mint. He poured himself a glass of his favorite homemade kiwi juice and sat at the kitchen’s elegant counter top. He sprinkled some black pepper onto his dish, said the usual ‘Bismilla,” and enjoyed his meal.

During his final last bites, his BlackBerry vibrated off the ceramic counter. It was a message from his youngest sister, Nourah.

“Sckyping in five,” the message said.

When he was finally done, he got up, finished what remained from his glass of freshly done kiwi juice and dropped his plate and glass by the sink to be washed later on and headed up to his office.

He opened his MacBook Pro and opened Sckype and within a couple of minutes he was having one of their lengthily chats. She was only nineteen, the youngest of the five siblings. There was an eleven year difference between them, he was the second one. He had four brothers and Nourah was his only sister. They were the closest to each other.

“Hamad, listen, I have this essay to finish and I’ll be back on in an hour or so, wait for me?” she gave him an angelic look, “Please,” she begged him.

“Haha, yalla zain. I’ve got two scheduled surgeries tomorrow. I need my good night rest,”

“Ufff, Hmaid! Why did you have to be a doctor? Ok, fine. Be a doctor but please come back!” she convinced her brother like any other time.

“Nouro, we’ve talked about this,” he cut her short.

“7aram you keep Nouf hanging like this, it isn’t fair to her too,” she mentioned his fiancée, or ex-fiancée.

Nouf, Nouf…what can I say? he frowned.

“Shfeek Hmaido?” she saw her brother’s discomfort.

“Ma shay 7abeebty, yalla ana el7een a5aleech. Tell me how that essay comes out, ok?”

“Inshalla,”

They said their goodbye’s, closed his laptop as well as the lights to his office and headed to his room. After washing up and finally lying in the comfort of his warm bed, he closed his eyes but his mind was too full awake to drift off and switch to sleeping mode. He tried countless times but there was no such luck.

Having tried some more, he gave and sat himself up straight on the bed. He walked down the stairs to the living room and into the kitchen for a glass of milk. He put the glass down by the side of the sink and started to wash the two glasses and his plate back from dinner, hoping that he’d get weary and get some sleep.

Again, no such luck. He put the two glasses and dish into the dryer and exited, closing the kitchen lights behind him. He walked back up the stairs, both his feet dragging themselves up with each heavy step he took. He got back into bed and started searching for his novel when the letter accidentally slipped out of his bedside table.

He froze at the sight of it. He put his hand on his forehead and dug into his temples soothing his thoughts that were racing around rapidly.

Why Nouf, why? a hot tear fell down his eye.

Immediately regaining himself, he pulled the letter out and walked down and fixed himself a warm fire by the fire place in the living room and slowly unfolded the letter…

Dear Hamad,

I have wrote this letter over and over again
until I managed to get the courage to finally accept what I have
written. as you know, I’m not very good at confrontation yet informing you of
all people the news I have but it is your right to find out after you need
to know it’s not something I can keep hidden for long.

A couple of months ago I had a random check
up and the doctor has found a lump in my left breast and he had asked be for a
biopsy to make sure it’s not malignant, but the one thing I feared did
happen and it was malignant. The doctor said I have nothing to fear as the
removal of such lump is a “piece of cake”. Nonetheless, the cancer had spread
before my scheduled operation and I was diagnosed with stage 3
cancer.

I had traveled to England to see a specialist but mind
you I was in major denial due to my young age, but due to my lifestyle the
cancer has spread viciously and the doctors have concerto that there is no point
of me going through either chemotherapy or radiation.

I am given a 6 month timeline until I am admitted into
hospital for my final round with life, I know what you might tell me that
god intends our life span but at the same time god has written for me to walk
down this path.

Hamad I have not written to you for medical
advice or your opinion but I have written to inform you I want you to
move on, let me be free so I can enjoy my family and friends during the
time I have left.

I’d appreciate if this is kept to yourself as I’m not
ready to inform every one, pity is something I’m not looking for at the moment
as my strength is supplied from their normal life.

Thank you.

Nouf.

Another hot tear made it’s way down his face…

————————————-

A million thanks to Zuzzy for writing the letter, I love you.

P.S. Nawarii, where are you?

Hey everyone! So this is the new story I told you guys about. Enjoy. Oh and feedback would be more than nice. Thank you.

P.S. Thank you Zuzzy ;*
P.P.S. Nawarii, my e-mail is sunsetqtr@live.com.

———————————————–

With his Economist magazine in one hand and his suitcase in the other, he waited for his daily dose of caffeine, looking through the glass windows onto the main street. He carefully watched the snow flakes come down in pretty patterns as they landed on children’s fleece hats and warm winter pullovers as they slowly got onto their school bus, one after the other. He saw the beggars blowing into their ripped mittens in an attempt to warm their cold hands. He saw the business men walking with their black suits and coats on and their BlackBerry’s to their ears. He saw girls in their colorful winter clothing laughing along with one another.

“Another winter day in New York City,” he thought to himself.

Only one word could describe the outdoors, white. The snow kept falling from the day before, but would pause every hour or two.

“One tall cinnamon dolce latte,” called out the guy from behind the counter.

Before he left, he asked for sleeves and walked out seconds later. To most people, it would be freezing, but to him it was normal. He stopped feeling numb from the coldness after these long, long 5 years. It was something he had gotten used to.

He started walking towards his destination when his BlackBerry vibrated in his pocket. He juggled the hot drink in his other hand while trying to pull his phone out of his left pocket.

“Hello,” he answered when he crashed into a figure.

The latte came spilling down on her papers as he ended the call and apologised at once.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” he pulled out some tissue as he offered them to her.

“I told you Mama, no means no. I’ve said that to you guys over a million times, won’t you guys just accept it,” she ignored him and kept some distance between herself and the papers in her hand in order not to stain her coat.

“Mama, I’ll talk to you later,” and she closed the phone.

“I’m really really sorry, my bad. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“Neither was I,” she rolled her eyes.

“Umm, excuse me?”

“Nothing,” she walked to the rubbish bin, threw the papers and simply walked away.

Wow, someones not having a good day today…he thought to himself.

Sorry for the short post. I promise a longer one tommorow ;**




Before I start telling you guys about 2008. You have to know why until this day I’m still scared. I’m scared that my old self might take controle of me again. Cause you see, I feel like it wasnt me, it was like someone else took controle of me and I just had no controle.

I kept inviting people into my life, people I barley knew. Most of them were guys. I kept them as friends. But you see, they were just too many of them. I had over 10 guys I barely knew on my facebook friends list.

I hated that so much about myself. Then one day I woke up and said “Dina what the hell are you doing?” I was kinda being a player in a way you know? I mean I talked to like 5 diffirent guys a day … I would mainly talk to them from midnight until like 4 am. I didnt know what the hell I was doing… I’m just glad its all in the past.

Also I kept jumping in and out of friendships. Many of them disappointed me. But it was my own fault. I trusted too fast. I always think the best of others.

I must remind you, this was NOT in 2008. This was in 2006-2007.

Here we go… the year of 2008.. where the new me began to bloom.

Suzy 101

I have ADD.. bs el7mdelah now it’s much more less. I’m not ashamed I mean its not like its a disability or something. Im a hundred percent healthy and again I will say ashamed.

My mom and I started to get even closer like we did before. I earned her trust back.

Oh and I’m so sorry I forgot something really important. My adorable little sister Haya. Aghh I could just eat her up!! I’m only jelouse of one thing… HER HAIR !! MASHALLAH !! She has light brown golden hair while me and the rest of my family are stuck with dark chocolate brown hair. Ok what is up with that? Yallah 3adi I dyed my hair for a 3 years and got bored of it, so now hehehehe its back natural.

Now let’s get back…

I’ve built up so much anger and hate towards myself and others. I decided to talk to a therapist. I just wanted to let it all out. Question, why is it that its easier for us to talk and to them , while our friends and family not so much ?? It’s so weird.

Another thing that helped me was writing. Whenever I felt any type of emotion I’d find a way to turn it into a peom.

I used to write song lyrics when I was thirteen until the age of fifteen but then I stopped.

Suzy 101

I sing. I actualy have a good voice. Amazing voice from what others tell me. My mom told me that whenever she’d take me to the doctor for a checkup when I was a young child he’d always say I could do very well in singing. Ma fhmt shay wallah.. bs fhmt inah he saw my throught blah blah and he said I have the chords and whatever. Lol does that make sense? :P So yeah I sing. Whenever I got a chance I would sing at parties of people I know. Until now I really love to sing. I love music, I just love it. The connection I have with it. <3

I stopped because…. actualy I dont know why I did. Guess it just happend :S

So at the start of 2008 I started writing poetry. Write now I have a huge notebook filled with my own writing. I dont just do it anymore to let out my emotions but as a hobby aswell. Sometimes I’d be sitting down doing something and then all of a sudden I would sing out a verse and then I’d take it and turn it into a poem. See when I’m really bored I just sing out random and try to put them together. So it would start out as a song then be brought down into poetry.

After a couple of therapy sessions I was all better. I forgave myself and began walking towards my future.

Just when I started getting back to my own self again.. he came into my life.

The love of my life.

The one that had me head over heels.

The one that drove me crazy half the time but still I ended up loving him.

Me!

I know, you miss me, right? ;)))

Ahahahah!

I’m finally done! Now it’s time enra7eb bl Eid break ya nass!

Kl 3am o into eb alf alffff alffff 9e7a o salama yaa raaabbbb o 3asaha etkooon mn a7laaa a3yaaadkummm :**

Love you guys ;**

P.S. I’m starting a whole new story.

P.P.S. Don’t kill me :(

P.P.P.S. Tawny raj3a mn my last final o ga3da af6er 3la egg omlette w toast ;)

G3adna shway solafna oo b3dain everyone got busy with something. Saroon and fajour were going through the Internet. On the other hand, I was surfing the channels and didn’t find anything worth watching while a7medo was lying on the sofa next to me….

Okay so am on a break now mn el derasa , w am going to write the LAST post peopleAgain am so sorry I kept you waiting all this time ! ;*To Madliar ; am so happy to know you enjoy this ! w you’re telling people to read it b3d lol that’s so cool, …

Three weeks had gone by and I guess you could say I was happy.

But then I got into this huge mess with my mom ;s

See she didnt know about Fai9al.. the only boyfriend she did know about was Ra7man, my first. She let me be with him cause she thought it would be a good experiance for me.

As for Fai9al.. she was cluless cause I knew she’d dissapprove.

But later on she found out and swiped my phone away.

Thank god when she asked for it, it was in my room. She asked me to go get it so I did.. I was so scared I didn’t wanna upset her even more. So I ran straight to my room, got a paper and pen, and started writing down all the important numbers.

And for the next month and a half this was how it was. I was only allowed to use the house phone , but only when I got my mothers permission. I remember when I was with my friends I would beg to use their phones for a while to call Fai9al. And late at night I wouls sneak out my bedroom window ((we had a one story house)) and run over to our 5aima where there was a telephone that I’d use. Every one would be asleep by 3 so I would sneak off at around 4.

I hated doing this but I had no other option.

During that time aslo I had about 7 gy friends that I would just talk to for fun. But there was only one that I didn’t really use, he was 3bdulah. He was truly my best friend.

He knew all there was to know about me. He accepted me for for who I was and didnt judge me. He stood beside me and was there for me.

My girlfriends came and gone but he didnt. I truly did care for him.. I loved him. He’s like the brother I never had.

Me and him have so much in common its like we never get bored of one another, we always had something to talk about. We laughed and just enjoyed eachothers company.

Oh and I have to tell you this !! Every single time he has to bring this one specific thing up.

At like 4 am I was online and my internet all of a sudden broke down on me so I called him up..

3bdulah: Mmmm? *sleepy voice*

Me: Hey you!

3bdulah: Doody do you know what time it is ?

Me: Yeah 4.

3bdulah: Mashallah 3leeki ..

Me: Hehe listen I need you to do me a favor..

3bdulah: I have an exam tommorow cant this wait ?

Me: NO NOW !

3bdulah: Habla.. wallah inik habla..

See the thing about me and 3bdulah is that no one can ever and i mean EVER NEVER understand our friendship. Other than our nicknames we call eachother ((Doody and Boodi)) I would call him ’3abi and he would call me habla. LOL I dont know how this all became but it did. :P

And guess what ?

He actualy got up even thogh he had an exam the next day and logged on to my facebook to finish up something I was doing. SO SWEET !

MY BROTHER <3

Anyways back to Fai9al…

I herd from a source that he was trying to date this other girl.. I forgot her name. I honestly didnt belieev it at first. But the girl herself talked to me and said that he really was trying to get with her and that I should back away from him before he hurts me.

When I aksed Fai9al about it, he told me that it was a long time ago. :s

But this girl told me it was just recent.

I was so confused and couldnt take all the rumors anymore so I ended things with him. He tried calling but I wouldnt answer. He texted but I wouldnt reply.

He kept trying to contact me for about a week. So I finaly gave in and herd what he had to say.

Fai9al: I’m so sorry you had to hear all that stuff about me. You have to know that I love and care about you and would never want to hurt you. Yes I was a player and I used to not give a shit about any girl but you… your diffirent Dina. You changed me. You made me want to have a relationship and give myself a chance. Please give me one more chance to prove myself to you.

Dina: Fai9al I really dunno. I mean the rumors are constantly on and off. How long will this go on for ? I dont wanna have a boyfriend and keep hearing this heartbreaking rumors about him. Its hard and I get effected so much.

Fai9al: I know, I know wallah. Let me handel that ok? I’ll take care of everything just please take me back. Im begging you.

You all know what I did right? Yup, I gave in.

But a month after that, we broke up. I broke up with him. Sure he said he loved me but I just didnt feel it you know? There’s a diffirence between showing the love and saying I love you. A huge diffirence.

I just wanted to me alone for a while. I mean that year I was ina nd out of relationships I just needed to be alone you know? I wanted to find myself again. Because that year I lost myself.

My best friend abandoned me. Two guys broke my heart. And I risked my relationship with my mother for a guy.

Thank god my mom forgave me and gave me back my phone. You wanna know how ?

Mama: 7beebty ana w e5tik ry7een are you sure you dont wanna come with us ?

Dina: E mama you go have fun ana abadan mali 5ulg.

Mama: Ok I love you w entabhy 3ala nafsik.

Dina: WAIT !

Mama: Na3am ?

Dina: How am I gonna be able to take care of myself without a mobile? I mean think about ti for a minute. What if a burgalar comes and starts chasing me around!! I mean do you really think I’d have time to tell him to pause for a minute to use the house phone and call the police!! hell no!! But you see while im running I could easily pull out my mobile and dial the police.

She smiled the kinda smile that you wanna smile but try to hold it in but cant. Huh.. did I even make any sense… Oh well :P

>>> 2008 <<<

This is where the new me started to bloom.
At the end of 2007 I broke it off will all my “fake” guy friends except for Boodi. :)

I pulled myself together and promised to never lie to my mom again. To never hurt anyone (although I havent). To never give in to something so wrong. To never lose myself again. I promised to never let a man take controle over me and to never bring the horrible me back ever again.

2008…

I sat in front of the mirror and took a long sip of my steaming American coffee. I had a long day ahead of me; a midterm, a response paper to hand in, and several hundred errands to take care of before my next trip to the UAE. Time was passing muc…

Click On Image to Enlarge:yany email sidamny;p awalan… ALGHAW 3ITHWEEETY IB MONTADAYAT TA3ABT GALBY!!!!!!!!! takhayilaaw!! laghooooohhha!!!thaniyan… ANA 3ITHWA IB MONTADAYAT TA3ABT GALBY! :P makent adre;pla w 3ithwa mostahdafa ba3ad;p yabon ibogon …

My Pretties I’m so so sorry!

I woke up 3 days ago and wanted to log on when the speedtouch connection was disabled. So I had to wait 2 days for this guy to come and fix the wires all over the house. I was dying I mean who here cannot live without atleast 5 minutes of internet time ???

No worries now, I’m back! :D

And I’ve got a long post for you all. And to just reply back to some comments…

Anonymouse 7beebty I’m so glad to know their are other Saudi bloggers out there since I mostley follow Kuwaiti’s. LOL yeah I’m from Kuwait bs still I live here in KSA so knowing I’m not the only one .. yeah I guess it kinda does make it more exciting :D


7aWoOrY Ya galbiiiiiii I’m thrilled that your impressed aghh i love you! And yes please I would reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyy love it if you would check out the rest. Start from “Trapped”. And about that rude comment.. pshhhh I ont care.. “you can talk what you want but my skin is really thick…” 3ala gol Kat DeLuna ;p muwaaaaaa7 !!


3abeer;* Yup I still live here. Haha dont worry I got in ever word you said, and hmm what a coincidence ;* Thank you so much I really apprecaite all the support 7ayatiii !


Just-a-Teenager Yay :D


Comatose I know what you mean.. Riyadh ;s I go there every now and then for breaks cause most of my cousins are there and aghhhh katmaaaa.. everywhere I go its like people are watching you.. your every move. I feel like I can never just be my self and relax. el 3ax hina f jeddah.. its more free and you can do whatever you want! Let’s change that and make u a NON silen reader.. what do ya say ? ;p And thank’s for the back up love ;**


Bella_x0x0 7ayati !! As I wrote above the internet wasnt woring for 3 straight days ;( y7belik la 5afeen 3alay Im perfectley fine ;** And hahahahha she didnt scare me off.. i dont scare that easy ;) Im here and always will be.. Love u !



ENJOY !!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Surprisingly I moved on in less than a minute.

Not long after that I got a random add and inbox from this guy on Facebook. (( Before the summer I deleted my netlog account and made an account on Facebook ))One hell of a bumpy road with this guy

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*



Fai9al:

hey :D sorry for this fj2a random add but this is facebook after all right ?


Me:

hallah.. yeah i guess it is heheh ;p


Fai9al:

so how are you ?


Me:

good good, yourself ?


Fai9al:

gr8 thanx :) so dina… what do you say we move this conversation onto msn ?


Me:

LOL first of all we haven’t even started a comversation yet, and second i dont think were at that level where i trust you enough to give my email.


Fai9al:

a tough one i see.. i like that. no worries. whatever you say..



We started sending eachother messages on facebook for about two weeks until I felt it was ok for me to give him my email. So I did and we “moved our conversation” onto msn.

It was an all clean chat between us for a couple of days. Then he wanted more.

Fai9al:

dina…


Me:

yeah ?


Fai9al:

i wanna see you ?


Me:

oh ?


Fai9al:

do you mind ?


Me:

ummm… i dunno fai9al


Fai9al:

listen how about you give me your number and i call you, and……….. if you dont like me in 5 minutes feel free to erase me from your life.


Me:

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…….


Fai9al:

(A) (A) (A)


Me:

oh ok fine.. it wont kill me.


Fai9al:

i wont let anything kill you!! bsmilah 3laik !


Me:

looooool yallah i gotta go.. here my number ********** call me later. bbye!


Fai9al:

:D




He called me that night and we spent over 2 hours talking and just getting to know eachother. After 2 days of late night chit chats he asked me out, and I accepted.

He took me to this cafe called Senses. It was amazing, the cafe I mean. What I loved about it was that you could sit inside the walls , you know what I mean ? Like if two people for example wanted a bit of privacy they would sit there. There would be a table and mini couch inside the wall. Aghh I dunno how to explain. But some of you got it right ?

Almhm… so I saw him there and it was awkward. I was so shy and he was too. We could not have been any more far apart. He was all the way on the other end of the couch as I was too.

In that one hour we spent together it was absolute SILENCE !!

I kept looking down playing around with my finger nails and he kept playing around with his phone !! RUDE !! Who the hell was he texting? Some other girl to have an after party with .. hmmmmmm ?!

BADRIIIIIIIIIII !! In the last few minutes before I had to go, he came closer to me and held my hand. My heart started racing. I couldnt tell if it was racing because I liked him or if it was because I was scared.

He let out a smile and squeezed my hand even tighter. But I have to say… it did kinda feel nice. I had this feeling that he did care about me. Although I still had my doubts, I mean after what my ex did to me… do you blame me ?

Our night ended with him giving me a gentle kiss on my cheeck. I blushed right away, but walked away before he could see me.

Why is it that everytime your out with a guy it starts off really weird and awkward and then in those last minutes it all starts to turn around ? It’s seriously unfair !

But I didn’t have to worry cause I knew this was not our final date. I could see it in his eyes that he liked me, really liked me.

I actualy herd some stuff about him. Before I accepted to go out with him I asked around and most people said that he’s a player and usualy leavs a girl heartbroken. I couldnt believe that.. he was so sweet and nice to me. They also said he eases into it all. Acts like the man the ladies want him to be then BAM he’s in and gets what he wants. I dont know if they ment physically.. well I dont think they did since he never tried anything with me.

We continued seeing eachother every weekend. I have to say it was fun. I mean he made me feel special, showering me with compliments. What really made me melt is his way of charm. He really does know how to charm a girl and make her all giggily inside.

But… what I didnt know is that later on… a77m a77m well still theres alot to talk about before I finish that sentence.

Posted in Q8

Bloggy 7abeeebe ;**I love my blog and i love mathew!..Mathew who?! ana agoulikum tonight Mathew… Je t’adore Walla!ps: Loyalty Kills

Women’s Soccer BYU vs. The University of New Mexico 1 – 0 to BYU OMG you should watch this it’s ridiculous. The woman is insane. Just watch and see! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Piuuqqs10&NR=1 FYI she didn’t get a red ca…

“Allllll byyyyyy myselffffffffffff….la laaaaa la laaaaaaaa”Even though I wasnt looking at him, I could see him looking at me with questioning eyes from the corner of my eyes.I ignored.“ALLLLLLLLL BYYYYYYYY MYYYYYSEEEEEEEEEELF”I started again …

“Allllll byyyyyy myselffffffffffff….la laaaaa la laaaaaaaa”Even though I wasnt looking at him, I could see him looking at me with questioning eyes from the corner of my eyes.I ignored.“ALLLLLLLLL BYYYYYYYY MYYYYYSEEEEEEEEEELF”I started again …

We kept staring deep into each other’s eyes , however I couldnt take the intensity of the moment.I looked away , I looked at the soon to light horizon the orange tinted skies above us . He rested his back on one of the tanning chairs and I rested my he…

- okhoy shimakh yabhity la’ana may7ibny weghar miny.- ana 7aliyan ga3ed an6er fa6ayryyy w jbaly salon lolo’at alsurra lilrijal.. So’al wajeeh lilrijal.. Igisooon saksoookatkom ib migas sh7aga?!- ya7laila eljaw sar bared.. Khif 6eenta bs! MA3INDE SHOES!…