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Articles Archive for March 2012

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[27 Mar 2012 | Comments Off on Once upon a lie 28 | 0 views]

Helloooo bloggers!

I missed you guys so so so much! here i am with another post i hope you’ll LLLLOOOVVVE!

Sorry for the delay again

Xoxo

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Previously;

Shaikha was headed to a wedding with a request from Wahab to see her before she got in the big hall at Mariott, but after a small incident with 3baid his cousin at the house (seeing a car with the same freaky girl again) made him change his plans, he texted Shaikha telling her that he no longer was coming to the hotel.. And 3baid was on his way to the hispital.. where he saw a girl who clearly didn’t belong there with her beautiful face and 3abaya over a gorgeous red gown.. Shaikha.

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Shaikha stared wide-eyed surprised to see 3baid there, but she quickly turned her head, hoping he didn’t recognize her but it was too late, he already did.

She tried not to make a big deal out of it, this was the second time 3baid had seen her here.. last time she was with her father.. He was the one holding the huge envelope of X-rays last time so she was safe.. with a story to make up.. but what would she say now? after him seeing her like this? and what would he tell Wahab?

That’s all she was thinking about.. Wahab..

Who was on his way to finding out where and why was that car there.. chasing him.. the girl in it actually, was what he wanted to know all about

More than 4 times now he’d seen her, and now he was sure it is NOT a coincidence.

Shaikha tried hard to swallow, a scared looking girl with the same long gown under a 3abaya was hurrying towards her, handing her papers and asked if she needed a wheelchair. Shaikha glanced over at 3baid and hoped he didn’t overhear.. 3baid pretended he wasn’t looking or listening.. but he was.

He was a bit concerned about her & he didn’t know why. He didn’t know if his cousin knew about this, and concluded he doesn’t because he knew Wahab too well.. if he knew he’d be the first in here yelling at some people to get his girl a wheelchair and not caring who heard or who saw!

Shaikha and the girl rushed in front of him when he heard the guy in the back call out for him ,

” Here are your father’s papers.. and the medicine you asked for.. but you still need permission, go into that small room right there, just knock and go tell him you’re only there for a signature there’s no sense in waiting too long you’re not a patient”

“Thank you” 3baid told the nice man and turned to where he told him to

He knocked on the door twice and went in, and at that moment he wished he didn’t

” I don’t think you need surgery but-” The Dr. didn’t continue and looked around at 3baid

He stood there embarrassed and hoped he waited his turn.. He also wished he didn’t see who it was in the chair infront of the Dr.

It was Shaikha, wide-eyed, scared and embarrassed too

He looked at her then quickly turned to the Dr. “Ana asef bas galoly adesh.. bs aby tawqee3”

” Mafe moshkila ” The Dr. had said, took 3baid’s paper and was looking for a stamp, he stole one last glance at the beautiful girl sitting there.. Her hair was so dark matching her eyes and he loved it..

He quickly gave him self an invisible slap, what the hell was he doing?! this was his cousin girlfriend!

” Mashkoor.. ” He took the paper and ran out without looking back at her

He was there at the same struggle, should he or shouldn’t he say something to his cousin? What was Shaikha doing there? that wasn’t just any Dr. that was a cardiologist.. that was the heart surgery department where he went regularly with his father to do check ups..

Maybe she was there for her father too, but that didn’t make any sense since her dad wasn’t there!! and the Dr. was addressing HER when he spoke!

He kept coming up with excuses to avoid the truth, the awful truth..

After a long drive 3baid decided it was none of his business, if Shaikha had something to say she’d say it.. to her boyfriend.. his cousin..

Wahab got lost while looking for the same car, he drove and drove and drove! but he couldn’t seem to find a clue..

“How was the search? ” 3baid came out of the shower with his body dripping wet

” a waste.. ” Wahab answered

” It’s alright man, ”

” Alo ” Wahab suddenly answered his phone, ” Hala baby ” and 3baid’s heart raced.. this was her, this was it..

Okay, none of my business, he thought

He went into his closet and heard Wahab saying ” How was the wedding? oh yeah? good good.. then you danced all night huh? ”

Okay.. UNLESS she danced away in that Dr’s office! 3baid was thinking.. i guess she doesn’t want him to know just yet..

Something was fishy.. but 3baid wasn’t the one to talk, he wasn’t going to.. not now at least

” Am telling you that was Wahab’s cousin! ” Shaikha was freaking out on her friend

” Okay.. Calm down babe.. are you sure he knew who you were ? ” Shaikha gave her friend a stare

” Okay okay.. sorry dumb question .. S! c’mon dont think like that, he’s not gonna say anything.. don’t freak out ”

Shaikha was quiet, she just looked out the window

” If only i had more time ” She mumbled

Her friend was heart broken to see Shaikha like that. She turned on Rwaished’s song, Shaikha favorite ” wa6an 3mrii ” and kept on driving

” I care about him too much.. ” Shaikha said ” I don’t want to ruin it ”

” I know sweetie i know.. ” Her friend said

‘ Ma sheft el gumar el yoom, bacher nroo7 el ba7ar? ‘

That was a message from Wahab, she swallowed

‘ Next weekend? ‘ She texted back, she couldn’t tomorrow.. she had another appointment.

Shaikha struggled inside, was she being a bad girlfriend? was she hiding from him? or did she want to keep the game a while longer?

It wasn’t fair.. none of this was fair..

It was supposed to go the fairytale way.. the amazing way..

Where there was no struggles, no problems what so ever!

She deserves it, they both do after what happened with their lives.

To be continued..

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[25 Mar 2012 | Comments Off on Missing you | 0 views]

I miss youI miss talking to youI miss everything about youbut I dont want you to come backI dont want to live through that heartache once againI miss having you in my life 

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[16 Mar 2012 | Comments Off on Is This Love? | 0 views]

Every time I see you I fall in love, even though I don’t know you.I want to have endless conversations with youEven a smile would do.I dont know how I feel towards you, but every time I remember you my heart smiles.I wish you knew, but I’m glad you don…

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[15 Mar 2012 | Comments Off on "The one [that got away]" | 0 views]
I’m not one of those people who can easily cry whenever i’m overwhelmed with sadness. I can’t do that. I never could. I will never be able to. I’m genuinely sad right now but I can’t cry. I want to cry. I wish I could.  

I never meant to hurt anybody.

I can’t believe I hurt someone, I can’t believe I hurt someone, this much.

I can’t grasp this reality, I can’t accept this burden.

I smile, I tell my friends i’m okay.

I laugh, but inside i’m dying.

What do you do when a friend you cherish is in love with you, and you don’t feel the same?

There is no right answer, because either way somebody gets hurt. 

Either way somebody is hurt.

I hurt someone I deeply care about, I acknowledge that I hurt him, but no matter what I do he would have gotten hurt.

I can’t love him back.

I tried to convince myself to give him a shot, I know he’s a great guy. I know he tried so hard to make me happy.

But, 

there’s always a “but”, isn’t there?

But, a façade?

will that really help?

I want to love him. I want to love him, for him.

I want to fix his heart; put those pieces together and hold them in place in the palms of my hands.

I lost a dear friend, they tell me with time he might come around and talk to me when he gets over me. Frankly, I tell myself that too.

I wish I believed it though.

Goodbye, dear friend. 

I know you don’t think I care, but with all my heart; I do.

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[14 Mar 2012 | Comments Off on Disheartenment | 0 views]

I don’t know what else I can do that I haven’t already done. I don’t know what it is that would make you mine again. 

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[6 Mar 2012 | Comments Off on Free. | 0 views]
I woke up this morning a little late and went through my usual routine, then I found an e-mail to publish or delete a comment on this blog. I read, published, then moved on to Twitter. That’s where I found this link: http://abetterkuwait.wordpress.com/2012/03/05/paint-to-freedom/
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free |frē|
adjective ( freer |ˈfrēər|, freest |ˈfrēəst|)
1 not under the control or in the power of another; able to act or be done as one wishes
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I never censored my thoughts and always voiced them in my blog. This is the ONE place in the universe that I type up words that were manacled thoughts, and set them free. 
I, for one, never wanted to write about the society in Kuwait for one reason. Most readers are very patriotic to their home land and I will end up with responses like “if you don’t like Kuwait, then why don’t you leave it?” To which I would most likely respond with “DON’T BE MORONS, IF YOU POINT OUT WHAT’S WRONG IN A SOCIETY IT’S ONLY BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT SHOULD BE BETTER.”
So, I never put myself through the hassle and wrote about everything on my mind, but that. However, when I found the post above today I realized that I, in fact, don’t have the freedom to voice my opinion about what I truly think of Kuwait because I am simply not allowed to. Every word written in the link above is something that still remains a manacled thought- for me. I never voiced my opinion (publicly) about censorship. Basically I think George Orwell describes our society very well in “1984”. 
Do you want to remain animals locked up in a zoo, with a zoo keeper that only allows you to consume whatever he decides is best? 
Personally? I don’t.
I actually have the word الحريه tattooed on my arm, I strive to be free. I will one day be free to read, paint, say, and act as I see fit. I won’t go down without a fight. 

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[4 Mar 2012 | Comments Off on feed my mind. | 0 views]

Unable to move, unable to breathe, the music blasting from the laptop in your lap seems so far away, all there are are those words. You can hear your heart beats, and the words roaming about in your head; bouncing off the walls in your brain, contempla…

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[2 Mar 2012 | Comments Off on Why? | 0 views]

I Just got some terrifying news from my sister, and it got me thinking. Naturally, the first person I blame is God. If he is out there, and he does exist. If he is the almighty, and the all knowing, and this wonderful thing worth worshipping, then why …