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[31 May 2013 | Comments Off on Chapter 15: THE WEDDING part 2 | 0 views]

One thing I learnt from my past experience is to when it comes to leaving a kid alone at home atleast have one adult in the house. That is parent logic. I mean who in the world would leave their kid at home ALL alone? Afrah’s mom and dad. Which was a m…

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[28 May 2013 | Comments Off on Mit3eb ElGalb 27 | 0 views]

Abaihhh abaih abaihh!!


I feel lightheaded, my palms are sweating and my vision is blurry.


Why? Why am I crying???


Mo min9ijich Lulu!!:)


Enzain riday 3ala el rayal!!


“Lulu?” His questioning tone brought me back to reality.


He’s waiting for an answer


HE’S WAITING FOR AN ANSWER!!!! :O


Abaih lazim ajawba bs shagoool?? Ee ta3al ekh6bny chny ma6foga??!


“E7m,” he cleared his throat obviously feeling uneasy.


Elly allah katba be9eer…


Wait, did I just say that in my head?


E7mmm, I cleared my throat.


“Elly allah katba be9eer,” I repeated loudly this time.


“Akeed bs ana qasdy enich mitqabla fikrat el zawaj al7een? O taqbleen feeny ka zoj? Adry enich mat3arfeeny bs mabda2eyan entay mwafqa?” He asked.


I finally reached my house. I parked the car, took a deep breath and leaned my head on the seat.


“Umm.. Walla madry shagool,” I stuttered.


“Asif adry enny a7rajtich eb hal as2ila, bs aby minich jawab wa7id ya ee ya la?” He said.


I took another deep breath. I feel like I’m running out of air.


9ij enna I have a crush on him bs ma3arfa kiliish!! 


Faj2a ga3da akhaaf 7aaail!!!!


Way Lulu shda3wa lat7asiseeny enna bacher 3irskum:) 


“Ee,” I heard myself say.


My heart started banging in my chest. Sweat beads started to form on my forehead.


Laish marad 3alaay?? 


SHFEEE MAYRID??


Suddenly my phone vibrated in my hand and started ringing. 


Haw!!!


“Alo?” I said.


“Asiif walla madry shfee mobily 6efa, ee magilteely shnu jawabich?” he asked.


Masadeg:’)


“Ee,” I whispered.


“9iij??” He asked a little too loudly.


I can feel him smiling as he talks.


“9ij enna ma9ar shay rasmy, bas mat9adgeen shkithir wanasteeny ya lulu, aw3idich mara7 tshofeen ella kil khair enshallah,” he said enthusiastically.


Eshawigggg:(


I realized I was smiling like an idiot, I mean can you blame me?


“Yalla mara7 a6awel 3alaich zyada, ashoofich 3an qareeb enshallah!” He said before he hung up.


I think my heart just sighed.


I felt like little birds are chirping happily around me.


I felt like there are happy butterflies roaming in my stomach and lightly bouncing on my heart.

I grinned and got out of the car.



.



After I took a steaming shower, I changed and went the living room.


Dakhalt el9ala wela umy shagga elwayhh.


“Yaa zeen hal ebtisama,” I said as I planted a kiss on her forehead.


She blushed, tshaaawig!!


“Rada mbacher,” she said.


“Ee gilt bacher aroo7laha enshallah,” I said.


“Ee enzain sm3aay magdar an6er akthar min chthyy,” she chirped happily.


Umy 7aaail tishtaaa6 3ala kilshaayy :p


“Hahah 3ala shnu?” I asked.


“Tawa dagat 3alay Maryam AlX,” she said.


“Mnu hathyy?” I asked.


“Om Saad AlX,” she said grinning even wider.


I stared at my over-the-top enthusiastic mother with my mouth hanging open.


Uma dagat?? Bismilaaa!!!!


“Tabeech 7ag wildha, 3umra 28 yshtghl eb sharikat XXXX,” she continued. “Tgool shayfich o shafgan.”


:’)


I tried to bite the insides of my mouth trying not to smile.


“Fakrayy blmawthoo3 3ashan agool 7g uboch ys2al 3anna,” she added.


I lowered my head and started to play with my hands nervously.


“Afaker enshallah,” I whispered.


“Aham shay estkheeray o rideely khabar bacher elmara ga3da tan6ir,” she said.


“Enshallah,” I said.


A chill ran down my spine. I don’t really know how to feel about this!


Mit3eb’s POV:




Noura lail7een tkrmon traaji3 o 7ararat’ha marra mirtaf3a o marra nazla..


El6abeeb egol etha stimarat 3ala hal 7al bedakhlonha el 3enaya..


Yaraab tshafeeha .. Yarab!


O 6ab3an ana mamnoo3 adish el ghurfa.. Kil yom a6il 3alaiha min elbab.


Ashoof wayyeha a9faar o dmoo3ha 3ala khad’ha!


Akthar  wagt mi7tajatnyy fee bs lil asaf magdar akoon yamha..


El7imdla 3ala kil 7aal!!


“Mit3eb 7abeeby roo7 el baait erta7 shway min e9ub7 o enta ga3ed eb hal kirsy yam el bab,” khalty said.



“Laa 3adyy mirtaa7,” I said.


Walla 3ad 7ady ta3ban!!


“Al7een Noura nayma o ana tawnny yaya min el bait.. Ro7 enta erta7 3ashan lama tye ana arid elbait,” she said.


“Khalaa9 enshallah,” I said as I got up.


“Allah y7afthik,” she said.



.



Walla mo gader anam!! 


Lifraash moree7 o msakeer kil el laitat o elghurfa barda bs mo gader anaaam!!!


Galbyy naghizny!! Mabyy afawel.. Bs elly ga3ed e9eer kilish maybasher bil khair!


I closed my eyes and my mind started wandering.


Laa tukfa.. Maby afaker feeha


My mind took me to a memory I had buried deep down in my brain, a memory that is almost 6 years old. 


Images of her face started dancing in front of my eyes. Her smile, her frown, her hair… Her eyes.


Like a puzzle, pieces of her face started to attach together showing me the beauty I had known – and loved – years ago.


My heart started tingling. 


Please brain don’t take me there.


But it’s already too late. 


Sara.


She’s all I can think about.


I felt a heavy load drop on my heart as soon as I remembered her.


Kint a7ibha.. A7ibhaaaa


Kint a7ib kilshayy tsawee 


Kil kilma tgoollha


Kil tha7ka, ebtesama, nathra


Kilshay feeeha.


Kint lama afaker.. Afaker feeha


O lama anam.. A7lim feeha


O lama abtisim broo7y.. Tkoon ehya eb baly


O ehya? Kanaat t7ibnyy


Kanat edalilnyyy o tkhaaf 3alay


Kanat tesmaa3 kil mashaaklyy o tkhaleeny at7al6am laih bacher o matirtaa7 ella etha shafatny mirtaa7


Kanat sabaab sa3adtyy eb haldinya


Bas lil asaf .. Ra7aat


O mara7 terjaa3


Ra7aat o khathaat galbyy ma3aha




—6 years ago—




“Ahhhhh 7adyy khayfa!” Sara squealed into the phone. 


“Laaaish? Al7een entay mo darsa 3adel?” I asked.


“Eee bs ham khayfa!! Bro7y 3ayda el madda maby a3edha mara thaltha,” she complained.


“Mara7 t3eedenha enshallah! Tiwakilay 3ala allah o bitsaween zain,” I said.


“Enshallahh!” She said.


After her exam she called me again..


“Baaadaaaa3ttttt,” she shouted into the phone.


“Hahahhaa sh’hababtayy,” I asked.


“Madry madryy 7aail 9aa3iib!!” She said.


“Enshallah khaair bs khalas latfakreen bil emti7aaan tawich m3a6laa ro7ay stansay,” I said.


“Eee adryy bs rasy gam e3awirny min hal madda el khaysa!” She said.


“Wain btro7een elyom?” I asked.


“Shalaaih ma3a elahal, enta?” She asked.


“Shalaih eraabi3,” I said.


“Tara lazim tyeebly hadeya bimonasabat 36ltyy,” she said.


“Taraa 3a6alatay matakhrjtayy, ana elly batkharraj enshallah,” I said.


“ABAAAIHHH YOU PASSED?? Ya3nyyy khalaa9?? Btitkharaaaj?” She shouted into the 
phone.


“Eee elyoom shift el grade o 6ala3t yayib B o el7imdla khala9t,” I said.


Hal course ga3id 3ala madda wa7da 3ayedha.. Bs el7mdlaa ybt feeha grade.


“MAABRRRROOOOOKKKKK!!! Wallaa mat9adeg shkither staanaaastt 6oool lisboo3 wana ad3elik,” she said enthusiastically.


“Hahhaa matgaa9reen. Walla el7imdlaa ftakaait! Bs 3ad al7een ta3al dawer watheefa!!” I said.


“Allahh ysahel enshallaa btelgaa!!” She said.


“Walla bas atwathaaaf bayee akh6ibich min ahalich 6ayaraaan!!! Bs ba3ad ma3ndch 3ither et2ajleen,” I said.


Shagatnyy, kil magitlaha bakh6bch galat lama titkharaaj o lama takharajt galat lama titwathaaf.. Laih meta ya3ny!!


“Hahaha enshalahh,” she said.


“Akhh magdaar an6err laih elyoom elly bt9ereen fe murty,” I said.


“E9aber zaaain,” she said.


“O lama tyebeelina 7amany li9gheer,” I said, daydreaming waaaay into the future.


“Hahhaa bismillaaa!” She said.


“Eee shighlyy 7ar eb 7aar makuu na6raa,” I said.


“Allah yaktib elly fee khair,” she said.


“Ameen,” I said.


“Ok ana we9aalt el baait akalmik 3ugub,” she said.


“Ok o goleely lama to9len eshalaih,” I said.


“Enshallah, yalla bye,” she said before she hung up.


Sakart eltelephone o ebtesamt..


Makint adryy eny raa7 abchyy 3ugubha


Kil shay 9aar bsr3a


Nimt el 3a9er.. Ga3adt 3al 7 


Ashoof mobiley o an9idim


Message wara message, 82727 missed call


“Mit3eb dig 3alaay thaarooory”


“Simaa3t elkhabaar?”


“Waainik Mit3ib? Tukfaain latahaawar!” 


“Awal matshof el msg dig 3alaay!”


Rab3yy, shfeehum?


Shisalfa? Ay khabaaar??


Dagait 3ala 9a7by,


“Aloo?” I said.


“Aloo wainiik ent??” Nasser shouted into the phone.


“Tawny ga3ed shfeekum entaaw? Alf missed call o sab3 emyaat msg sh9ayer?” I asked.


“Ahh masima3t..” He said.


“Laaaaa ta7achaa gol shisalfa??” I asked.


“Ent wainik al7een?” He asked.


“Agoooolik ana tawny ga3ed 7ata ma gimt min lifraash.. Bitgoool sh3indik wela shloon??” I said.


Yakhyy qathny!


“Mit3eb ethkir allah.. Ana al7een yaylik lata7araak,” he said and quickly hung up.


Walaaain


I dropped my phone and went to the bathroom to shower.


Ga3ed afaker shashtiryy 7ag Sara hadeya… Maku ela as2al Lamees kilish ma3aref eb 
hasuwalif


Khala9t o badalt wela Na9or tawa yo9aal


6ala3tlaa barra


“Halaa shlonik?” I asked as I greeted him.



“Bkhaiir el7imdla, ta3al erkaab esayara ba6ig farra waridik,” he said.


“Shfeeek Na9or tara ga3ed etkhari3ny!!” I said as I got into the car.


He pulled away and hit the road.


“Mashift mobilek?” He asked.


“La walla o chiny nisaita eb dary ba3ad,” I said as I checked my pockets. “Laa kahu.”


“Ana bagoolik bs min al7een agolik haad a39abik tithakar enna kilshayy allah katba kheera —


“Ekhli9 goool sh3ndk?” I said growing impatient.


“Sara.. 3a6itik 3umerha,” Na9er whispered staring ahead.


I froze.


Shnu? 


Atwaqa3 galbyy wegaaf thanyitain o rad kamal..


“Na3am?” I asked.


“Sara, tiwafat tawa eb 7adith,” he repeated.


Shnu?


I felt lightheaded. Its like every word he’s saying is like a dagger stabbing deep into my heart.


Sara?


Sara elly a7ibha? 


Sara elly sta3yalt 3ashan atkharaj watzawajha?


Sara?


“Mit3eb ethkir allahh,” I heard nasser say.


I was shaking. 


Every organ in my body started trembling with tears.


I felt a huge lump in my throat and then hot tears stream down my face.


“S-sara?” I asked. “Sara?”


Her name sounded so distant.. So lifeless. It didn’t feel real.. Nothing about this felt real.


“Hatha yomha ya Mit3eb, mataby minik ghair eldu3aa2,” he said.


“La.. Mu Sara! Sara mafeeha shayy!! Mafeeha shay!!” I shouted.


Shyaaby hatha ygool enna sara tiwafat.


Mafeeha shayy 


“Ridny elbaait,” I shouted.


I felt like a ton of bricks landed on my heart. I cant breathe.. It’s like all the oxygen around me is simply not enough.


I pulled out my phone and furiously started punching in Sara’s number.


Ring..ring..ring


“Shga3ed tsawyy?” naser asked.


“Al7een bitrid 3alayy o bt3aref enik ghal6aan o ena ehya mafeeha ella el3afya!!” I said.


But she didn’t answer..


She never did..


Even after her death in months.. 


Even years..


It’s always switched off, just like how my life became after she left it.


We9alna elbait o nizaalt min esayara.. Hastaart a7is abyy asawy shay bs madry shnu! Aby a9arekh aby abchy aby a6ig a7ad bas mo gader


Mo gader at7arak min mukaany.. Reely mo shaylaatny


Jismy kila yaarjif ..

I feel like my brain stopped working and all I can hear is Sara’s name echoing in my head.


Nasser stood in front of me holding my shoulder and shouting in my face 


I don’t know what he’s saying, I can’t hear a thing.


Even my vision started to blur.


All I can hear is Sara’s voice..


All I can see are her pretty eyes


But now, they’re lifeless .. hollow, sad eyes looking back at me, haunting my soul.


I fell to my knees; they couldn’t carry me anymore. Nasser came down with me holding me from my shoulders.


I sobbed and sobbed.. I never cried this much before, I never knew I had it in me.


I felt like I wanted to rip my heart out.


I felt like my eye balls will slip out of their sockets in any minute.


“Laaaaiiiishhh Laaaaishh?!!!! Tawwwhaa .. taawha 9gheera ya Nasser tawha!” I shouted through my sobs.


“Ethkir rabik,” Nasser said, tearing a little.


“Laaish mo ana ely mayet?? Wallaa ahwan ahwaan!!” I said.


“Hathyy kitbat rabik ya Mit3eb may9eer tgol hal kalam,” he said.


But this is life, I guess..


One minute you’re talking to someone you love building up your dreams like skyscrapers, but you never know when the journey will come to an end.


All you need to do is learn how to move on and let it go..




—back to present time—



The sound of my phone ringing brought me back to reality.


I woke up to see my bed sheets drenched in sweat and my pillow in tears.


I hate thinking about her.. I hate all the heartache it brings.


After her, my life was a dark hole. I hated everything and everyone.


Zadat 3a9abeety o 9irt mat7amal shay o kila maly khlg..

Bas Noura sa3edatny wayed.. ma3a enha matadryy 


Matewaqa3t eny ba7ib a7ad kither ma 7abait Sara.. 


Makint aby a7ib a7ad a9lan.. Kint rafith fikrat elzawaj neha2eyan..


Bas tizawajt o dist 3ala nafsy 3ashan umy.. O ashwany sima3t kalamha


O al7een? Walla madry shbe9er feeny etha Noura 9ar feeha shay..


Yallaaa yaraab enik tshafeeha witgawimha bilsalama!!

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[25 May 2013 | Comments Off on Why Saudi is Sucky. | 0 views]
Reasons why I would prefer living almost anywhere else in the world instead of my current  whereabouts… Putting aside all the obvious reasons and delving into the abyss, I will try and unearth a mushy center (if one exists).

Extremism

I was going to title this one religion but opted out since ‘extremism’ is way more accurate. Either way, extremism isn’t just apparent in the fact that there is such a thing as “religious police” or the fact that, as a female, I have to cover whenever I leave the house or the fact that I cannot go to a college, get a job, or leave the country without a signed document from my male “guardian” granting me the permission to do so. It’s more in the fact that although the country has different religious sects, it acknowledges none and actually tries to stamp out their presence and forces the dominant sect’s followings on these minorities through school, in the workplace, and such. The country officially does not recognize the existence of other sectors even though there are large communities with their Hussainiyah’s (what Shia’s mosques are called) all over the Kingdom.

Religious Brainwashing and Propaganda (AKA Education)

Religion dominates everything, whether it is Science or Math or even Art. It has come to my attention recently that objective truths such as the formation of mountains or volcanoes are not perceived as scientific truths but God’s will. Needless to say, evolutionary theory and similar concepts are not taught but merely mentioned as being ridiculous and condemning those that believe in them. During the 12 years of school, one would have to study an average of 2 Islamic subjects during elementary school and then around 4 in the higher levels. In college, there are four Islamic courses taught by mindless draconian drones that are considered mandatory by the Ministry of Higher Education to acquiring a college degree. In order to express the crazy that is these Islamic courses, I’ve drawn up two scenarios:

Exhibit A, having your parents condemned in class because they sent you to an International school and then, claiming that knowledge of the Arabic language is important in order to be “Muslim” otherwise you’ll suffer eternal damnation. Blatantly ignoring the fact that Arabs only make 20% of Muslims in the world.

Exhibit B, having an instructor (with a BA and MA) who is married (relevant) say in class that it is okay for a husband to hit his wife if she oversteps religious boundaries as long as it’s not on the face because, and I quote, “The face is where a person’s dignity lies.” I don’t know about her, but my dignity kinda lies in my whole body. 

Emphasis is put on women staying at home and the men providing for them. Women aren’t really encouraged to work and they only make around 20% of the work force whereas men are at 80%. This might be partly due to the fact that “mixed” work environments are considered blasphemous even though they do exist but women aren’t encouraged from participating in such an environment. This most probably is attributed to the idea that women are seen as evil demonic seductresses and “it’s never the man’s fault if he can’t control himself which is why God allows him to marry up to four wives.” If you actually go back to the Quranic text on that part, it states that men can only marry four if they can treat them equally and goes on to say that they will never be able to… if anything, this can be interpreted in many ways but the way I see it is the patriarchal society I live in chooses to see it in their privilege as it does most religious things.

Culture

I have yet to comprehend why I have chosen to divide the ‘religion’ reason from the ‘culture’ section seeing as the Saudi culture is governed solely by Islam but I will attempt to dissect the culture from the religion (or propaganda – perspective, perspective) that is shoved down our throats by the mindless, preaching stormtroopers common in my community. Moving past that, as an individual in a collectivist society it is hard to get beyond the interests of the group and focus on your own. The problem is, as it is always with anti-conformity, going against a group of somewhat homogeneous people will result in you becoming a target… and hate on you, they shall, like an child-eating ogre.

If what you decide to do as a female goes against the housewife agenda that is planned out for you from birth and on that plan, at 21 years of age (a little late, some might say), your main goal is to “put yourself out there” which means socialize with families from your same social class that are, but not necessarily, extremely well-off and have single men that you could make a good wife for. Continuing education or getting a job are seen as just distractions or opportunities for you to exploit (to further your evil mastermind plan of getting married), never should you ever take them seriously even in the event that things don’t actually work out. 

Traditionalism/Tribalism

Another point to make is, your value as a person is directly related to the degree of conformance you have to the expectations of society especially to family members. Unconditional love is quite unheard of. To elaborate on this point, my paternal aunt would not speak to my male cousin for the first two years of his marriage solely because he chose to marry a girl that did not belong to a tribe and that is seen as lowering your social status as well as your family’s. You’re perceived as selfish and inconsiderate for drawing that kind of negative association, when you’re really just not being racist.

Independence

I won’t tackle the issue of not being able to drive or do anything officially without a guardian’s permission however, it absolutely irks me that the simplest things that are taken for granted abroad are things that I cannot do either due to law or fear of being ostracized by society at large. Things like taking a walk to the store because a woman walking in the street is considered blasphemous. Going out for a drive (with the driver) because that’s just asking for trouble. On the other hand, the second you are accompanied by a chaperone, you can stay out all night and do whatever the hell you want. Because logic.
It doesn’t matter how old you are if you are female in Saudi, you’ll never be fully independent and it doesn’t matter how old you are if you are a male in Saudi, you’ll not only be independent but you have absolute control over most  of the females in your family.

Privileged Masses (Class Clash)

The class clash is an issue that exists in many societies yet never as noticeable as in the Saudi one. 
Cold facts: 
– Upper class are too privileged to notice or care about anything that actually goes on in this country and couldn’t be bothered less with doing anything about it.
– Middle class are getting the short end of the stick, not quite privileged enough to get the numbing sensation but not quite living on nothing so they’re just stuck in between but mostly trying to get to the social status of one in the upper class. (Probably the reason why more than half this country is in debt)
– Lower class has rampant poverty (without any exaggeration, this oil rich country suffers from about 30% of poverty-ridden homes – side note: a video was made by two young Saudi bloggers regarding this and they were actually arrested and interrogated for spreading false information). 
The former points sum up the social class rule quite sufficiently.

Government/Political Freedom/Corruption

As an absolute Islamic monarchy, citizens don’t have much of a say but they do have the illusion of involvement with the existence of pointless bodies such as the Consultative Assembly which is what its name depicts, merely a suggestive body with no actual authority on making decisions. With the municipal elections, it was an attempt to bring a more democratic approach to things but at the end of the day, these elections were not only a waste of time but the elected council never actually got to do anything and the second term election was delayed. Aside from all that, women were actually denied voting rights after there was a small protest regarding this.

Most high-ranking government officials (ministers, etc.) are appointed by the government. This decision can be revoked out of the blue if necessary and a person from a completely different field can be given this position because not only is nepotism strong but so is complete disregard to existing workplace systems/environments. That said, bribery is key.

Money laundering exists in just about every governmental project ever undertaken.  Not only that but these projects never get finished because the amount of money taken is too much and since budget plans are done on a yearly basis, project is either put on hold till then or finished up cheaply by taking out big chunks of the original plan. These projects are streets, highways, airports, even a sewage system which actually has caused cities like Riyadh and Jeddah to flood with a death toll of around 100 people.

(Faux) Patriotism

The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia literally means The Arab Kingdom of Saud, which basically means that they, Al Saud, own the county and its citizens. It’s really no surprise seeing as that is how they act. It’s really hard from a pride perspective to be proud of something that at the end of the day doesn’t seem like it belongs to you or that you have any right to. Hence why all patriotism in this country is 100% fake. Sure on the National Day people leave their houses all dressed up in green, waving flags, and playing music in the street but since when does that depict patriotism? Surely when a person cares about something, they want that thing/person to be better and thus they try to improve it in any way they can but how is it possible to do so when not only is freedom of speech prohibited but so is being allowed to constructively criticize anything!

In summation, Saudi Arabia is almost a practical application of the story 1984. Except it’s the year 1433 Hijra.

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[25 May 2013 | Comments Off on Chapter 14- The wedding | 0 views]

I would like to thank you guys. For just reading this, Yes, having feedback would be lovely but I just am thankful to have readers.Anyways..instagram: @BlueVelvetBlog_twitter: @bluevelvetblogask: ask.fm/BlueVelvetBlogGonna reveal at the end of the chap…

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[23 May 2013 | Comments Off on Mit3eb ElGalb 26 | 0 views]

Noura’s pov: 


Ughhhh.



I can feel my heart breaking into a million tiny pieces. 



It’s so hard to have a person so close, yet so far away. The problem is that  he’s not just any person; he’s my husband!!


El7imdlaa 3ala kil 7aal!!



Mit3eb’s POV: 




Magdar ashoof murty.. Wala ag3ad ma3aha. 



Ana elwaaa7ed elly etha garrabt minha taglib chabdha..



Min bid enaas kilhum ana elwa7eed elly tanasat feeny..



Yakhyy walla shay y3awer elgalb


A7is wedy ag3ad ma3a murtyy wihya 7amel ajablha wasa3idha ..


Wedy a3awenha bil ashyaa elly mat3aber tsaweehum



Aby akoon ana elshaakh9 elly ewadeha elmustashfa laih t3abat



Ana elly awadeeha lama y9er 3endaha maw3id 6abeeb



Ana elly as’har ma3aha etha t3abat eb ni9 elaail ….



Noura’s POV:




I rested my head on the pillow and closed my eyes. I imagined mit3eb sitting next to me, holding my hand. Absentmindedly I brought my hand to my chest as if hugging it. 


Khalas khalaaaas I need to stop thinking about my bad fortune. 


I realized that my head started hurting me even more and my stomach is still churning. I hate that feeling :(


“Yuma,” I called my mother.


“Shfeech 7abeebty,” she said.


“Chabdy taglib 7aail o rasy y3awerrny khal ya36ony duwaa,” I complained.


“Wee khal anady el nurse,” she said. 


She went to call the nurse and came back with her.


“What’s wrong maam,” the nurse asked.


“I feel sick, and my head is hurting me so much,” I said.


I can see Mit3eb peaking into the room looking at me and asking my mother, “shfeeha?”


The nurse placed her hand on my forehead, and then frowned.


What? What? Why the frown?


She brought a thermometer and motioned for me to open my mouth and then slipped it under my tongue.


After a few seconds she pulled it out, looked at it then sighed.


“How high is it?” I asked assuming that I have a fever.


“39,” she said walking around the room looking for something. “Wait I will call the doctor.”


“Shisalfa?” mit3eb asked still standing next to the door.


“7arart’ha mirtaf3aa,” my mother said close to panicking.


The doctor and the nurse stepped into the room.


“Haaa shit7seen fe?” The dr asked with a smile.


“Chabdy o rasyyy,” I said resting my palm on my forehead.


“Hmm 7arartich mirtaf3a ba7i6lich drip 3ashan tanzil el 7arrara,” he said as he grabbed an injection and inspected my hand for any veins.


I looked at him horrified, I’m forever afraid of injections!!


I closed my eyes and tried thinking of something else..


Perhaps mit3eb holding my hand? Yes.

Mit3eb’s POV:



Madry shfeeha Noura wallaa mkhar3atnyy


Mi3tafsa 7alat’haa o ana mo gader asaweelaha shayy


Laa wal7een biqizoonha ebra o ehy khawafaa, o ana magdar 7ata akoon yamha


Ga3ed a7awel a6el 3alaiha wana wagef yam elbab.. 


Ashofha tabchy wela wath3ha 6abee3y.. 3ad ehy 9ayra um dmai3a hal yomain


Elmushkila eldr sad eshasha mashoof wayyeha


“Ba3aad eldrip a36ech 7bob tkhafif ello3a, o afathel tnameen elaila bilmustashfa 3ala ma tanzil 7arartich,” I heard the dr say.


Noura moaned and rested her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. 


Wayeha 9ayer a9faar o mbayyen ga3da tit2laam..


Feeny wala feech ya um 7amany


“Esalaamu 3alaikum dr..shfeeha Noura?” I asked the dr as I followed him out of the room.


“7arart’ha mirtaaf3aa o t7is eb loo3a y3ny feha athaar nazla m3awiya, bs enshalla tkoon khafeefa,” he said.


“Eee… Enshala mashkoor,” I said and turned around back into the room.


“Mit3eb eg3aad 3endha shway ana baro7 elbait bayeeb aghrath ly o laha warid many m6awla enshalla,” khalty said.


“Enshallaahh,” I said.


Khalty meshaat o ana sa7abtly kirsy o ga3adt yam el bab.


“Noura,” I whispered.


Shakilha namaat.. 


Msakra 3ainha o laffa wayeha..


“Na3am,” she moaned after a few seconds.


“3abaly nimtayy,” I said.


“La ga3da,” she said. 7awelat terfa3 ras’ha, “wain umyyy?” 


“Ra7at tyeeb aghraath o bitrid,” I said. “Laishhh mo taris 3ainich anaa?”


She smiled.


“Ee ee kathray min hal ebtesamat elly minzimaaan mo shayifha,” I said.


“Mit3eb khaayfaa,” she said as she struggled to sit up straight.


“Min shnuu??” I asked.


“Akhaf fe shay bil baby..” She said as she placed one hand on her stomach.


“Laaa enshalla maku ella el3afya,” I said.


“Lana faj2a 3tefaast,” she said obviously she was close to tears.


“Noura latsaween aflaam mafeech ella el3afyaa, enshalla el7arara tanzil witrideen baitkum,” I said.


La jaad latig3ad tkhari3nyy! Noura 7adha wiswasiyaa..


O madry shlon tfaker!! O al7een tig3ad tgool hal ashya 3an elbaby witkhari3na


“Enshalla,” she said staring at her stomach as if silently begging the baby to be ok. Tears slowly streamed down her face.


“Yalyyy 3ala khadik ki7il lo tism7eh o titbasimy ma lilbika daaa3y,” I said.


Wallaa may9eer!! Murty tabchyy jidaamy wana magdaar 7ata ag3ad yamha 3ashan amsaa7 dmoo3ha!!!


Staghferallahhh!


El7imdlaa 3ala kil 7aal!


Nouras pov:



I covered my eyes with my hand and sobbed silently.


Something is just not right!! Maybe I’m being a drama queen?


Or maybe something IS wrong.


I grabbed some tissues and dabbed at my eyes trying to wipe the tears.


“Khalaas Noura tukfain latabcheen,” Mit3eb whispered.


You know when you feel so depressed that when you’re crying its so painful it feels like your throat is actually moving? You can feel the air scratch its way through your throat to your lungs as you’re gasping for it. And it feels as though the tears weigh a ton as they agonizingly make their way down your cheeks. 


*sigh*


I lowered my head and my insides screamed YARAAAB.


At7amal ayy shay e9eer feeny ana bs yaraab el baby may9er fe shay!!


“Noura tukfaiin… 3ashany latabcheen,” Mit3eb begged.


“Asfa..” I whispered.


I’m sorry I’m putting you through so much trouble!


I’m sorry that I’m being moody and crying over everything.


I’m sorry that I can’t be there for you and take care of you, as a wife should.


I’m sorry!



Mit3eb’s pov:



Maar elyoom ba6ee2 7ail, Noura t9eee7 o 7alat’ha kil malha witidahwar zyada..


Ya allahh enik et9abirny!!


Walla etha 9ar feeha shay ana madry shnu ra7 e9eer feeny!!


Magdar ..magdar akhsirha 


Maby yin3ad feeny eziman o akhsir shakh9 ghaly 3alayy!


Staghferallahh mit3eb shal 7achy? enshalaa mafeeha ela el3afya latig3ad twaswis ent ethany!!


6ala3t min elmistashfa 3ugub manamt Noura o radait el baait


Wana Bil6reej dag 3alay 9a7by


“Halaa bo 3azoz,” I said.


“Halaa feek wainiiiik?” He asked.


“Laa many yay elshalaih halweekend,” I said.


“Afaaa laishh? 7akritik el madam china,” he joked.


“Kil tibiiin walla 9akka feeny edinya,” I said.


“Ent tiz3aal wana mawjod? afa bas afaa ta3al elshalaih ghayer jaaw!” He said.


“La walla maly khilg,” I said.


“3ad elyoom ray7een shalaih f9aail ga3deen barra eljaaw naaar o elga3da kbeera ya6rid feeha elkhail, ta3al wana ukhook 6ee3ny,” he said.


“Lisbo3 elyay enshallaa,” I said.


“Waiiiii3 9ayer dalo3 chinik,” he said.


“Ya3aaaamy er7aal, elmuhim salim 3ala eshabab ashofkum el sabt bldowaneya enshalla,” I said before I hung up.


Walla maly khlg shay, 7ata eshalaih maly khilg aroo7!!


Wesaalt el bait o ga6ait 3umry 3ala lifraash..


Shloon banaam o murty bil mustashfaaa kil digeega t9ee7


Akhhh


6ala3t seyaadty o ga3adt ad3yy rabyy


اللهم اني استودعك نوره و ما في بطنها .. فاحفظهم لي يارب!

.


Awaaal ma ga3adt min enoom badalt o ri7t elmustashfa..


Noura lail7en 7arart’ha tirtifi3 o tanzil..


Allahh kareeem..


Lulu’s pov:


I’ve been thinking about Saad since yesterday!!


Ok, what else is new?


Lail7een madry aroo7 wela maa aro7!! Its 6:30 pm right now and I should make a decision.


7aaail aby a3aref shnu beegoly!! Ymkin shay muhiim 


Ymkin y7taj musa3adty eb shay wetha ma r7t o 3araft shnuu yitwahaag elwalad


Min aaams wana agolibha braasy..


Hmm khalas khalas maly shighil eb Saad shakly bs bazoor Dalol.. 


Ya3ny ana mo ray7tla uhwaa!! 


Rifeejty o bazoorha!


Etha shftaa ok wetha mashifta mo lazim!


Ya3ny bashof Dalol walaht 3alaihaa!


Ga3da agi9 3ala 3umry? Ee taghreeban..


Bs 9ij y3ny el wa7da matzoor rifeejat’ha? Lool :’(


I quickly changed and headed to the door. Before I left the house I took one last look in the mirror.


“Lulu you don’t have to look that good you’re only visiting Dalal, remember?” That voice in my head screamed.


Ifffff ok ok:)


I took one last glance before I left.

.


I parked my car and got out. My heart was beating so fast and my hands started to shake.


Entay ray7a 7ag Dalal mo a7ad thany, the voice in my head kept repeating.


As soon as I took the first step towards the entrance I felt something sting my heart.


Thameeery 7ail ga3ed e2anibny!!           


I felt really low; I loathed myself. Therefore, I turned around and got back into the car.


Whatever Saad has to tell me can wait.


I texted Dalal informing her that I’m not coming anymore.


What was I thinking coming here anyway?


Just as I was backing out of the driveway my phone started vibrating.


I looked at the phone to see a new message from Saad.


“Laish radaitay ya Lulu?”


I stared at my phone with my mouth hanging open. SHAFNY :’)


I looked at the house from the rear view mirror searching for him, but I didn’t see him.


I decided to ignore the message and continue driving home.


After a few seconds my phone started ringing, I looked at the screen and of course it was Saad.


I waited for a couple of seconds before I answered.


“Aloo,” I whispered.


“Hala Lulu,” he said.


My heart started fluttering.. Elly yesmaa3 egol tawa gayely shi3ir machina bs salaam.. 


9ij feeny naq9 7anan :’)


I need to reply faster because I seem like a retard.


“Ahlain,” I said.


“Shfeech radaiytayy?” he asked.


“Uhh madry… bas,” I said.


I don’t know what to say, really.


“3ala ra7tich, bas Lulu mabeech tfhmeeny ghala6.. ana makan qa9dy enny a2atheech eb ay 6areeqa,” he said.


“Adryy,” I whispered.


“Bs e9ara7aa ana min awal mashiftich dakhaltayy kha6ry.. o ana e9ara7a mabyy a6lib minich 6alab entay matgdren 3alaih.. bs aby as2ilich su2al,” he said.


I froze, laa ya Saad matefaqnaa tgoooly hal kalam wana ga3daa asooog!! Baghaait adoos 
aqwa break wana bil khaa6 el saree3!!


I felt sweat beads form on the back of my neck and forehead.


How does one reply to that?


“Lulu… etha taqadamtlich o kha6abtich min ahalich twafqeeen?” he asked.


*mini heart attack*

Uncategorized »

[21 May 2013 | Comments Off on Mit3eb ElGalb 25 | 0 views]

The next two days passed by so quickly.. and they were really boring!!


I barely saw Mit3eb o kil ma 9adaf enna nkon eb nafs el mukan o shafny faj2a yin7aash..


I hate this :(


Finally we returned to Kuwait. Kint lazim anam eb bait ahaly because of obvious reasons..


The first week went by so agonizingly slow. A7la shay ena kil yoom o tark Dalal o Lulu yzoroony aw ana aroo7luhum..


I miss Mit3eb, I feel like I haven’t seen him in ages. We talk on the phone a lot but still seeing him and being near him is always different.

On top of all that I’m starting to have back pains. I can’t sit in one place for too long and I can’t stand for too long.


O 9ayraa 7aail mashfoo7a bas akil o maraat a7is enna khalas banbaa6 min el akil bs lama ashof shay jidamy 3ady ag3ad o akil mara thanya..


Ga3da agi9 3ala nafsy o agool ena lazim akil wayed 3ashan el baby bs shakly ba9eer kuber el kabat 3ala akher shay :(


Lazim asawy diet asraaa3 saree3!


Bs kil ma agool 7ag Mit3eb ezifny..


“La laa entay shakliich yanaaitay o bityanineeny ma3aach 9aa7?” Mit3eb said.


It was 11 pm o tawa yitfaragh edig 3alaayy…


“Walla min9ijy Mit3eb enta minziman mo shayifny 3ady zidt 5 kilos,” I said.


“Ukhhhh shloon chithyyy??!! Ana khaber el7amel mafrooth tith3aaf ma tamtiin!!” he said sarcastically.


“Min9iiijyyyy,” I said.


“Yalmaynoona lazim tamtineeen ya3ny el baby ga3ed yikbar dakhlich fa lazim ezeed 
waznich o entay ga3da takleen 3an athnain fa 3ady,” he said.


“Kaifik 3ad etha 9irt kuber el kabat mo tsaweely suwalif enta elly mo rathy asawy diet,” I said.


“Eee 6abee3y tamtineen bs 3ad mo kuber el kabat,” he chuckled.


“Laa kaifiik ta7aamal el outcome,” I said.


“6a3 hathyyy, laa yuba eklay mithel elawadem ya3ny lama tishb3een shitsawen? Ta7miden rabich o tgomeen 3an el akil o bs tsakreen 7aljich lama tyoo3een mara thanyaa,” he said.


“Pleaaase ethgha6nyy zyada,” I said.


“Hahaha ee maby asma3 kilmat diet mara thanya kilish wala 7mayyen 3ad latyaw3eena maskeen!” he said.

“Mashallaa min al7een edafi3 3anna o togaf thiddy!!” I said.

“Eeee hatha 3ain el sai7,” he said.


“Awal shay awal shay e7na manadry etha 9bay wela bnaya, thany shaay ma qararna 3ala esim,” I said.


“Etha 9bay ana asamy o etha bint entay sameeha,” he said.


“Hmmm fair enough,” I said.


“Mabda2eyan ra7 ekoon 9bay o esma Abdulrahman, 3ad enshalla mayaksir feeny o y6la3 bint,” he chuckled.


“Haha kil shay min Allah 7iluu,” I said.


“Ee walla, enzain o etha bint shnu bitsameenha? Tukfain nagay esim san3,” he said.


“Abaaihh madryyy!!! Lazim afaker feeha 3adel!!” I said suddenly getting very enthusiastic.


“Eee 3indich wagt wayed tfakreen, enzain khaleena min el asamy al7een.. meta tkhale9 nisatich tara m9akhat esalfa,” he said.


“Tara bas 9arlina sboo3..” I said.


“Oo laih meta bitanasain 7athritich?” he asked.


“Haha allahu a3laam,” I said.


“Ya3ny mo 7ala hathyy ana elwa7eed elly magdar ashofich o bs a3aref akhbarich min el telephone!!” he said.


“Shasawyy walla mo beedy,” I said. Kisaar kha6ryyy, I felt like it’s somehow my fault!


“Walaht 3alaich ya3ny..” he said.


Eshawiiggg


“Walla ana aktharr!!” I said.


We continued talking until I fell asleep..

Lulu’s POV:


His smile.


It’s the first thing I see as soon as I open my eyes, and then it slowly fragments before reality swims into view.


His voice echoes in my head. Every time I try to get it out it bounces off all the walls that make up my brain and goes right back to where it was, playing over and over like a song on repeat.

I’m such a stupid girl for allowing myself to fall so deeply in love, when I barely know him.


I wish there is a “un-love” button on my heart that would rid me from this pain.


Hmmm..


My phone started vibrating indicating an incoming call. Raqam ghareeeb ga3ed edig 3alaay o hathy thalith marra ydigoon madry shisalfa..


Khal arid ymkin shay tharoory..


“Aloo,” I said.


“Esalamu 3alaikum,” a manly voice replied.


It didn’t sound familiar. I sat up straight.


“Mnu ma3ay?” I asked.


“Ana Saad,” he said.


I froze. Of course!!


Suddenly his voice sounded very familiar.


Suddenly the butterflies in my stomach that were once sleeping peacefully are now flying around in chaos making my heart tingle.

“Asif 3al ez3aaj bs baghait agolich shay,” he said.


I didn’t know what to say!! It’s like all the words in my vocabulary disappeared!!!


My palms started to sweat and my heartbeats sped up.


Abaaih lazim atkalaaam


“Umm.. tefathal,” I said.


La7tha la7tha!! Min wainla raqmy??!


“Lulu aby a6lib minich 6alab ma3alaich amer..” he said.


You lost me at Lulu……


The way he says my name makes my heart flutter.


“Ook..” I whispered.


The air around me was so intense.


La7tha laykoon besawely nafs thak elyom o ya6lib shay sakheef?


“Mayinfa3 agoola hny, lazim ashofich,” he said.


Haw!


“Shlon ya3ny?” I asked.


“Ta3alay elyoom 3end Dalal o akalmich,” he said.


Madryy..


Maby aroo7 bs 3ashana a7is ghala6..


“Madry ashoof,” I said.


“Tukfain Lulu tharoory,” he said.


Latgooool esmyy :(


Eshawigg yaraby shasaawyy


“Ma aw3idik..” I said.


My heart is telling me to go right this minute, but my brain it telling me that its wrong.

Ughhh mukhy lazim yidakhal :(


“3ala ra7tich bs meta magedartay goleely,” he said.


“Enshallah,” I said.


“Ma3a esalama,” he said before he hung up.


I brought the phone next to my heart and hugged it.. I know I sound pathetic but …. No I am pathetic :(


7ady aby a3aref shnu beegoly!! Bs fashla etha ri7t a7is ghala6 waay madry shasawyy!!!


Aro7 wela la??


Noura’s POV:




Rasyyy m9adi3 min awal ma ga3adt min el noom o mo rathy e6eeb!


I’ve been vomiting nonstop and I have no idea why.


I feel so tired and weak I can barely stand on my feet.


“Noura ta3alaay el 9ala g3day ma3ay,” my mother said.


“Enshallah,” I said as I dragged myself out of bed. ma6al3t min dary elyoom mafeeny 7ail!


I went downstairs to the living room.


“Ha shloon Nahla,” Nahla asked as she touched my stomach.


“Ya7ilwichh wentay wathqa ena basameha Nahla,” I said.


“Eee shda3wa ana ekhitch el wa7eeda,” she said.


“Mayindara yimkin mu bnaya,” I said.


“Ee 3ady 7ata lo 9bay,” she said.


“Haaw yanaitay?” I asked.


“Pleasee please!!” she begged.


Mo min9ijha!!


I sat down, suddenly I felt sick and light headed.


My stomach started twisting and churning. O Nahla ga3da t7in foog rasy!!


I rested my head in my hands.


“Nahla bs yuma shfeech kalaitay galb ekhtich, Noura shfeech??” my mother asked.


“Ta3bana shwaay,” I said.


“Ray7aay,” my mother said.


The smell of something, that I can’t quite place a finger on, swam through my nostrils. It 
made me feel so queasy that I had to run to the bathroom and vomit for the 29439 time!


I heard my mother’s voice behind me, “Smila 3alaich shfeeech?”


The image of my mother started to get blurry. Before I can say anything, everything went black.

.


I opened my eyes to find myself in a white room. I blinked a couple more times to get a better view. I lifted my head up and turned right.


Yup, I’m in a hospital room.


As soon as my mother saw me she hurried next to me, “Haa 7abeebtyy shlonich?”


Ga3adt a6ale3ha a7is mo mistaw3ibaa..


“Shit7seen fee,” she asked.


“Rasyy,” I said.


“Khaltyy, Noura g3adat?” I heard Mit3eb’s voice but I can’t see him anywhere.


Mit3eb, I need Mit3eb :’(


“Eee tawha ga3da,” she said as she walked over to the door.


“Badish, aby ashooofha,” he said.


“La yuma broo7ha ta3bana o ehya mitnasya feek,” my mother said.


“Adry khalty bs lazim ashoofha tukfain,” he said.


Babchyy


A tear slowly made its way down my cheek.


“Ok bakhaleek ma3aha shway bs mo e6awel witkhaleeny a7atyy,” my mother said.


“Enshalah!!” he said.


I heard the door close and after a few seconds Mit3eb appeared into view.


My heart skipped a beat when I saw him. Its like I haven’t seen him in years.


He took slow steps as he started coming closer, its like he’s afraid.


 “Shloonich al7een?” he asked.


I just nodded because if I opened my mouth to speak I will cry.


He stopped a few inches away from my bed.


“Shaklich masima3tay kalamy o sawaitay rijeem… khalaitay 7amany y3a9eb zain chthy?” he asked with a smile.

I swear his smile is the definition of love.


More tears started to stream down my cheeks.


7asait chabdyy shway gamat taglib, laaa plsss laa :(


I covered my nose and Mit3eb took a couple of steps back.


“Tukfain Noura bas bag3ad ma3ach hal digeega,” he said.


He brought a chair and sat next to my bed, but not too close. He stretched out his arm and opened his hand.

“3a6eeny edich,” he ordered.


I held his hand and covered my nose with the other hand.


“Laish chthy barda?” he asked.



“Madry,” I whispered.


He planted a kiss on my hand; I felt goosebumps take over my body.


I heard the door open and Mit3eb dropped my hand like it was on fire.


“Ha khala9taw?” my mother asked.



“Ee al7een bamshyy,” Mit3eb said as he stood up.


“Lazim etro7?” I asked.


“La many 6ali3 min el mustashfa, bag3ad barra elghurfa bs 3ashan takhtheen ra7tich,” he said.

“3ady eg3ad hny,” I said.


“Weddy walla, bs entay elly btit3ibeen 6a3 shloon entay msakra khashmich wintay tkalmeeny,” he said.


“Ok,” I said as I lowered my head.


“Etha tabeen ay shay ana barra,” he said before he left.

 **Sorry 3al ta2kheer bs ga3ed e9eer feny aqwa writers block ya3ny ma3indy afkaar fa pls ni6raw 3alay shway 3ashan aktib post san3 :$ sorry again xx

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[13 May 2013 | Comments Off on Mit3eb ElGalb 24 | 0 views]

Noura’s pov:

I washed my face and stood in front of the sink, staring at my reflection.

La laa ma3qoola??? Ma3qolaa elly ga3ed e9eer?

Hadaait kilshaayy o maligait ella atnasa eb Mit3eb??

Babchy!!!!

Bs 9iiiij magdaar astaa7mil etha garrab yaamy aw lemasny..

Mo ena ree7ta khaysa aw shay bs chthyy madryy laish :’)

I unlocked the door and peaked through the opening. I found Mit3eb sitting on the foot of the bed staring at his hands.

I covered my nose; I don’t want to feel sick again. I stepped out of the bathroom and tiptoed towards the closet.

My heartbeats accelerated, a part of me was hoping that this nisat thing isn’t real.

I continued walking with my nose still covered. Mit3eb looked at me then furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

He stood up and I immediately stopped walking. He crossed his hands on his chest and narrowed his eyes at me, its obvious he’s a little frustrated.

“Btgoleely shfeech?” He asked through clenched teeth.

Okay not a little, he’s pissed.

Agoola?? How can I tell him without hurting his feelings??

Abyyy arid likuwait! Abyy umyyyyy :'(

Ashwana 3ugub bacher radatnaa!!

“Maku shayy,” I whispered.

“Masmaa3??? Laish msakraa khasmich wntay tkalmeeny??” He asked. I can feel the anger boiling in his eyes and it was scaring me.

I just shook my head. I was trying to look for the right words or the right lie to say but I blanked out!!

He stared at me for a good thirty seconds. His face slowly turned red and his eyes, his questioning angry eyes, made my insides shiver.

Suddenly he started walking furiously to my direction. My heart made a double flip; I honestly thought he was going to strangle me. I widened my eyes in fear, but he walked right past me and stormed out of the room slamming the door behind him.

I let out a long, loud sigh of relief. I realized I was holding my breath the whole time. My heartbeats slowed down and my breathing became even again.

I threw myself on the bed. I smelled Mit3eb’s scent and my stomach started churning and twisting so I ran back to the bathroom.

I have already vomited three times today, I feel so weak and sick I can barely move.

Shloon ra7 a3eesh ma3aaa for the next 8 months o ana magdar astaa7mil agarib yama??

Shlon raa7 agola enny mitnasya fee aslan!! :'(

:0 :0

Shlon raa7 enaam elyom?? Mayseer mayser enam ma3ay bilghurfa!

I called my mother for some advice.

“Weee sh’haal 7aath!!” She said. “Y3ny mt2akda enna mina? Mo shay thany?”

“Eeee mit2akdaa yumaa!!” I said, I could feel the lump in my throat growing.

“Lazim tgoleela 7abeebty uhwa ra7 yifhaam, y3ny entay ma tnageen elashya elly etanasain minhum!!” She said.

“Akhaf e3a9eb,” I whispered as the tears started falling one by one.

“Laa enshalla mara7 e3a9eb o laish be3a9ib? Hathy kitbaat rabich o elnisat kilha awal arba3 ash’hir o enshallah o b3dain btrdeela mara thanya,” she said.

Ughhhh. 4 months is too much :'(

I hung up the phone and buried my face in the pillow and continued sobbing.

.

I opened my eyes to see Mit3eb standing next to the TV looking for something. 7ada muz3ij!!

I woke up with the biggest headache; I hate falling asleep after crying my eyes out.

I removed the blanket and slowly slipped out of bed. Mit3eb turned around, gave me a look, and then returned to whatever he was doing.

7ada m3aa9ib :’(((

I took a shower, wore my pjs and went to Lamees and Laila’s room.

“Ana banam,” Laila declared. Lamees and I moved to the balcony.

“Lamees bagolich shay..” I said.

“Goolay,” she said.

“Ga3da atnasaa eb…” I couldn’t bring myself to say his name.

“Eb shnuuu??? 3ad lazim enyeeblich eya la yi6la3 eb wildna,” she joked.

“Laa.. ana mitnasya eb umm Mit3eb,” I said.

She widened her eyes, “chathabaa!!”

“Wallaa!! Elyoom kilma garrab yamy 7asait chabdy taglib walla madry shasawyy!! O madry shlon agola!” I complained.

“Abaaih 7abeebtyyy!! Noura lazim tgoleeela matgdreen tkhsheen 3anna!” she said.

“Adry bs akhaf e3a9eb!” I said.

“Haw laish e3a9eb hal shay mo beedich!!” she said.

“Ok bs shasawyy al7en magdar ag3ad ma3a eb mukan wa7id min ghair ma chabdy taglib!! Wain benaam elyoom?” I asked.

“ya7jizla ghurfaa shda3wa kilha laila wa7da!! O kalmee entay gi3day 3ala lifrash o uhwa khal yogaf akher el ghurfa,” she said while giggling.

Abaaiihh :’(

That’s how we’re going to communicate now.

“Babchyyyy,” I said. I tried so hard to fight the tears.

“Hawneeha wit’hooon wallaa el ayam tarkith o enshalla bsr3a tkhalseen min hal nisat o tiftakaain!” she said.

“Enshallahh!” I said.

We continued talking until it was time for me to talk to Mit3eb. It was almost 11:30 pm and I’m not feeling sleepy AT ALL.

I got up from the chair and started making my way to my room.

T3arfoon elshu3oor lama galbkum yergaa3 lankum mbad3een o khayfeen tgolon 7ag umahatkum shimsawen??

Ana bethab6 chthyy ga3ed e9eer feenyy bs madryy laish khayfa hal kither!!

I entered the room to find Mit3eb standing next to the window talking on the phone; he hung up within minutes after I entered. He took one step towards me,

“La7tha la7tha!!” I said holding my hand up gesturing for him to stop walking.

He looked at me waiting for me to explain myself.

“Aby agoolik shay bs please latgarib,” I said.

He raised his eyebrows in shock then crossed his hands on his chest and leaned on the window.

“E9ara7aa madry shloon agolik bs .. umm.. walla madry shloon 9ar hal shay o madryy laaaish!!!! Bs umm..” I kept stuttering.

“Noura, ta7achay 3adel,” Mit3eb said sternly.

Okayy………

“Ga3da atnasaa fe-eek,” it came out all weird and wrong.

He froze for a couple of seconds, then ran his hands through his hair and lowered his head.

He sat on the foot of the bed and rested his head in his hands. “Shnisawy al7een?” he whispered.

“Madryy,” I said, my voice breaking up from the tears. I don’t know why I’m crying but I have to let it out.

“Ya3ny.. many fahim .. shlon?” he asked.

“Madryy wallaa, magdar agarib yamik, bs Mit3eb hal shay mo beedy walla,” I said.

He nodded and stood up; I instantly took a step backward.

“Latkhafeen mara7 ayeelich,” he said.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and stared at my feet.

“Khala9 entay namaay .. o uhh ashofch bacher enshallah,” he said.

He took a couple of steps then froze. He looked at me waiting for me to move since I was standing near the door. I entered the bathroom and closed the door, but left a little crack.

Before he left I asked, “wain bitroo7?”

“Ba7jizly ghurfa,” he said.

“Ok dig 3alaay awal ma tistilim el ghurfa,” I said.

“Enshallah,” he said.

“Asfa,” I whispered as the tears, once again, made their way down my cheek.

He didn’t hear me and now all I hear is the silence in the room.

 **Adryy gseer bs hatha ely gedart 3alaih :( Hope you enjoyed!

Latinsoon Sourat AlMulk and GN <3

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[11 May 2013 | Comments Off on Chapter 13 | 0 views]
13. Lucky number, lucky chapter, lucky year plus its my fave❤
ou sawoulee follow in instagram if you want to read chapters and photos that pops into my head while reading it…
My instagram: BlueVelvetBlog_
My twitter: @BlueVelvetBlog
My ask.fm: ask.fm/BlueVelvetBlog

ou thankyou x
___

The Next Day: WEDDING OF ZAINAB AND BADER.

Everyone was up at 8:30 am sitting on the table, eating breakfast.

Aunt Mizna: yalla banat 5anrou7 el 9alon.

chan kl wa7da gamat ou badelat ou ra7at m3a 3meyma.

Ignore the descriptiosn I gave before.
Aunttt chose:

Mama Chose:
Taiba chose: (she is mt7jba)
Manayer chose: 
Dareen chose: 
Dana chose:
Ghada chose: 
Afaf chose: BOTH HAIR AND DRESS.
Noura chose: THE MIDDLE DRESS 
Fatma chose: 
Shahad chose:
OFCOURSE EL 3ARUS ZAINAB CHOSE:
Afaf’s P.O.V:
Its over.
we are done.
TWITTER MODE:
AfafAl_: I regret all the days we spent, all the moments we had, I regret that I forgave you.
*3 retweets*
Ghada: Foofy, bas 3ad. 
Dana: Foof. He is not worth it.
Zainab: Tra 3rsy mabee fatigues!!!!
I faked a smile and sighed.
Abdullah’s P.O.V:
Mishael: 3beid. t3al. 
Abdullah: ttst3b6 ent?!
Mishael: Inch3m ou 9eer rayal.
Abdullah: agoulk eryoulllyyy!
Mishael: 9j enk bnt.
Abdullah: chub- zain shtabee?
Mishael: ‘3al6a kbeera 3bood.
Abdullah: adre.  she wont forgive me.
Zainab’s P.O.V:
My day. Is gone to a shit ground. 
3 CALLS FROM ——–
please stop. please. please. 
TO BE CONTINUED….. 

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[8 May 2013 | Comments Off on Mit3eb ElGalb 23 | 0 views]

Lulu’s POV:

I stared at him, still not believing my ears. Mo min 9ija yay yis2alny cham raqam ukhoy!!

 

“Umm… 99******,” I said as he punched in the numbers on his phone.

 

“Mashkoraa,” he said.

 

“El3afo,” I said before I quickly turned around.

 

“Lulu la7tha,” he said.

 

My heart skipped a beat when I heard him call my name.

 

I turned back around and looked at him..

 

He stared at me.. he opened his mouth to speak but then closed it again.

 

My heart started beating faster; it felt like he was gazing into my soul.

 

I quickly looked away and I’m sure my cheeks started turning into 50 shades of red.

 

I kept stealing glances at him; I couldn’t help but look at his beautiful face.

 

We stood there silently gazing into one another, but my head was a loud jungle of thoughts and wishes colliding into each other.

 

His lips stretched into a small smile, “la khala9, asif akhartch.”

 

“La 3ady,” I said before I quickly turned around and left.

 

I got into my car and closed the door behind me. I leaned into my seat and let out a long breath.

 

Hmm breathing… i realized i was holding my breath the whole time.

 

I closed my eyes and waited for my heart to calm down.

 

The images of his smile and intense gaze were still dancing in my head.

 

I opened my eyes and instantly my gaze flew to where we were standing a few minutes ago.

 

I found Saad leaning on the door looking right at me. When he saw me, he quickly lowered his head and stood up straight. He ran his hand through his hair then turned around and disappeared into the house.

 

 

**In Paris..

 

 

Noura’s POV:

 

Ughhhhh.

 

A7is 3ady athba7 ay a7ad ykalmny al7een.

 

T3arfon elsh3oor elly ay shay e9eer titnarfizon 7ata lo 3ALa shay mayiswa?

 

My hormones are all over the place.

 

I’m gonna kill myself its like I’m going to be pmsing for 8 more months. :)

 

aby arid likuwait.

 

“Haa Noura mabadaltay?” Mit3eb asked.

 

I narrowed my eyes at him and covered myself with the bed cover.

 

“Shfeech gomay badlay ebn6laa3,” he said.

 

“Maby a6la3,” I said.

 

“Laish?” He asked.

 

“Bas maly khilg,” I said.

 

“Feech shay? Ta3bana? Taben awadech el6abeeb?” He asked.

 

“Laaaa,” I said pushing his hand away.

 

“Khala9 3ala ra7tch,” he said.

 

I covered myself up and covered my ears waiting for them to leave.

 

7ady athayeg elkhilg o 9ayra abchy 3ala ay shayy bizyadaa o etha 6ala3t at3ab bsr3a o elnisaaat thab7atny :'(

 

I walked around the apartment not knowing what to do.. this is so boring.

 

 

Mit3eb’s pov:

 

Walla noura mthayga khilgy o ba6a chabdy eb nafs elwagt

 

Ya3ny 9ayra di3la bs matinlaam el9ara7a o lazim at7amlha ana..

 

Yalla tagzir enshallaahh o tyeeblina 7amany wild Mit3eb

 

Ya zeena byi6la3 mamloo7 3ala oboo.. ukh mafakart feeha ba6afer nouro eb hal mawthoo3!!

 

Laa yuba lay7ooshik al7een tfajer feeny

 

Khalas khalas lama tolad.

 

Ba9eer ubo ya3ny? Ana anaaa ba9eer ubo???

 

Haha la la bas aqalid Noura::::

 

Elmuhim…

 

“Lamees,” I whispered. Maby lailo tisma3ny hal fthee7a.

 

“Na3am,” she said.

 

“Wedy ashtry shay 7ag Noura bs madry shashtryy..” I said.

 

“Mithel shnu?” She asked.

 

“Madry ay shay ywanisha khatam swar qalb ay shay,” I said.

 

“Hmmm ehya thak elyoom gaylatly taby jan6aa,” she said.

 

“Min wain?” I asked.

 

“Min Chanel,” she said.

 

“Mnu hatha?” I asked.

 

“Haw ma7al,” she said while giggling.

 

“Ok yalla khanro7la,” I said.

 

We continued walking and walking and walking…

 

“Waina ma7alkum hatha?” I asked.

 

“Ka shway o no9aal,” Lamees said.

 

After a few minutes we reached the store and entered.

 

Lamees asked for the bag and I paid for it of course.

 

“Yalla khanrid nakhith Noura winroo7 nitghada,” I said.

 

.

 

Dakhalt el ghurfa wila ashof Noura mjabla el kabat o mgha6ya wayeha eb eedha..

 

“Esalaam,” I said.

 

I heard her mumble something..

 

“Laish lail7een mabadaltaay,” I asked.

 

O yalaitny ma sa2alt..

 

Lafat 3alaay o wayeha a7mar min el bachy, “Ma3endyy shaay albiisa!!! Maku shay makuu!!”

 

El mushkila ella elkabat kila hdoomha wallaa..

 

Garrabt yamha o ashart 3ala el kabat, “Etshoofen elly ashooofa??”

 

She looked at me in confusion.

 

“E9ara7a ana ashof ena el kabaat matroos hdoom bs madry 3anich..” I said.

 

“Adry!!!!! Bs madry shalbiiis mo 3ajibnyy shaayyy,” she said before she burst into more tears.

 

3umry mara7 afham el banat.. al7een mo ehya elly shareet’hum o shaglaat’hum ma3aha laih Paris… shlon tyeeny al7en tgoly mo 3ajbeenha?? :@

 

“Libsay elly libastee ams,” I said.

 

She widened her eyes, “Abaaaaih shnu albis elly libasta ams??!!!”

 

“Hadaay a39aabiich o libsay ay shay, kilshy 7ilu 3alaich o 3indy lich mofaja2a,” I said.

 

She faced me with a smile on her face, “shnuu?”

 

“La wallaaa?? Al7een tith7ikeen?” I asked.

 

“Akeed bath7ak 3ad enshallah el mufaj2a twanis mo nafs thak elyoom

khabny mofaja2a o mofaja2a akher shay yayibly kakaw laa o kalait ni9a ba3aad, laan nansaaa!” she said.

 

“Haha la hathyy ghair,” I said as I grabbed the black bag and placed it on the bed.

 

She raised her eyebrows, “Ohh ta6awer.. laish a7is enik ebtikhda3ny eb chees Chanel bs ely dakhla mo min Chanel?”

 

“Chinyy wayed 6aye7 min 3aainich?” I asked.

 

“Haha laa bas 3alaik 7arakaat,” she said.

 

“Laa? Khalas maku hadeya,” I pulled the bag away from her grip.

 

“hahhaa laaa walla atghaashmar enta 6ayeb wana astahel,” she batted her eyelashes at me.

 

“Ebtalshnaa feech,” I said as I handed her the bag.

 

She opened it and I watched as her smile grew into a grin.

 

“Abaaaih mashkoooorrr 3aad ana kint aby haal jan6aa shdaraak?” she asked.

 

“Ana khoosh rayel a7is feechh o a3aref shnu tabeen bdoon latgoleeen,” I said.

 

“3ayartiiik akeed Lamees gaylaatlik,” she said.

 

“A7sidich 3ala thaka2ech el khareq, ya3ny akeed ehya gaylatly ballah ana sh3arafnyy eb hal suwalef?” I said.

 

“Hahaha 7abeebyy matga9er,” she said as she leaned in for a hug.

 

“La7tha la7thaa 3eeday shgltaay?” I asked.

 

“Matgaa9er?” she said.

 

“Laa la elly gabehla,” I said as my lips stretched into a smile.

 

She knotted her eyebrows in confusion and then smiled when she understood what I meant.

 

“7abeeby,” she said while her cheeks turned into 50 shades of red. 

 

“Eeee ee kathraay min hal kalaam,” I said.

 

7ataa kilmat 7abeeby “minik” ghaaair

 

She lowered her head.

 

“Enzain tara malamaiteeny….” I said.

 

Ebtasmat… garebat minny o lamatnyy faj2aa chan twakher o tni6 min lifraash o tarkith laih el 7amam o terga3 el bab.

 

La7agt’ha, “Nouraaa shfeeech?”

 

Maradaat..

 

6agait el baab ..

 

“Faj2a chabdy gamat taglib,” she shouted.

 

“Shminna ba3aad?” I asked.

 

“Madry,” she said while opening the door.

 

Kanat rab6a sha3arha o wayeha a7maar.

 

“Tabeen awadech el 6abeeb?”  I asked.

 

“La ma36eeny 7boob,” she said.

 

She stood near the door and stared at me, slowly a tear made its way down her cheek.

 

“Shfeech shisalfa?” I asked.

 

Wallaa 7alat’ha ghareebaa..

 

“La maku shay,” she said while wiping the tear. She stood in front of her closet and started taking out a towel and her pajamas.

 

“Batsaba7,” she said.

 

I walked over to her and when she saw me she took a step backward. A horrified look washed over her face.

 

I took a step forward, she took a step backward and her back bumped into the wall.

 

I took another step..

 

She dropped the towel, covered her mouth and ran back to the bathroom slamming the door shut behind her.

 

Shisalfaa !!!

 

 

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[2 May 2013 | Comments Off on Part 25 : The Way To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions | 0 views]

To All My Followers and Anonymous Readers , I’m so sorry that it’s taken me this long to write anything , but I’ve been going through a very difficult time in my life , and it kept me from doing what I do best , write . I forgot that my escape was my w…

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[1 May 2013 | Comments Off on Mit3eb ElGalb 22 | 0 views]

My heart almost beat its way out of my chest


It was beating so fast that you can see my chest rise and then drop back down.


Small sweat beads started to form on my forehead and palms.


I panicked.


Suddenly, all I can hear is the sound of my heart freaking out.


I can see mit3eb walking over to me with his hands wide.


He pulled me into a hug.  I was still frozen in a state of disbelief.


I can feel his hand patting my back and his breath tickling my neck.


But I’m still….


Suddenly, their happy voices found their way back to my ears again.


“Mabroook 7abeebty,” Mit3eb whispered into my ear while still hugging me.


“Ma9adeg ba9eeer 3amma, a7laa khabaar,” Lamees squealed.


“Samooha Lailaaa,” Laila said.


A confused expression danced on Mit3ebs face, “Noura shfeech?”


I realized i was quiet the whole time and didn’t show any type of reaction.


“mafeeny shayyy,” I said with a fake smile.


“Akeeeed mistaansa ba3ad Mit3eb sh’haasu2al,” lamees said.


I smiled, “haha eee way el7imdlaa.”


The girls continued talking and smiling with glee, while mit3eb looked at me with worry.


“Yalla ro7aaw badlaw 3ashan ni6la3,” Mit3eb told the girls. He looked at me and whispered, “emshayy ma3ay.”


I followed him back to our room and sat on the foot of the bed. He closed the door behind him and turned around.


“Shfech??” He asked.


“Mafeeny shay,” i lied.


“3Abalich ba9adgch? Goleely shisalfa? Shakla mu 3ajbich elkhabar,” he said.


“Haw shloon maya3jbnyy akeed mistansa!!” I said.


“Mathanity,” he said as he sat next to me.


I turned my face away from his questioning eyes.


Ma3qoola? Ana ba9eer um???!


For the next 9 months a baby will grow inside me.


An actual human will slowly form inside my tummy?


I placed one hand on my stomach and carefully rubbed it like it might break.


I cant breath I cant breath!!


A big fat hot tear slowly slid down my cheek.


As if on queue a river of tears streamed down my cheeks at once.


I felt Mit3ebs fingers wrap around my chin to turn my face towards him.


He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.


“Tukfain goleely shfeech?” He whispered.


“Khayfaa…” I managed to say.


“Min shnu?” He asked.


“a7is enna.. ena im not ready!!” I said before I started sobbing uncontrollably.


Mit3eb pulled me into a hug and started running his hands through my hair.


I continued sobbing into his chest. I don’t know why I’m crying…. I don’t really know what to do!


“Noura sh’hal 7achy? Latfakreen chthyy entay gad’ha enshallaa!” He said.


I don’t know why I was scared.


I always wanted to have a baby and raise him/her with a loving husband.. I mean who doesn’t’?


But this came as a surprise..


This is a one way street, I can never go back ..


“Ta3awithay min bleees o estansaay ghairich yitmana yismaa3 halkhabar o mo 7a9ilaa,” Mit3eb said.


He’s right!! Staghferallah yarabyy!


“El7imdlaa El7imdlaa,” I said as I got up.


“Roo7ay ghaslay wayhich o stansaay walla hatha a7laa khabaar!!” Mit3eb said with a huge grin.


Just looking at his beautiful smile made me smile against my will. Its like somebody poured cool water on my steaming heart.


Ana laish khayfa? Dam raby mawjood o Mit3eb ma3aaay enshallah kil el umoor bit3ady 3ala khair!


I washed my face and came back with a huge grin.


“Eeee chithyyy yith7ikoon,” Mit3eb said.


“Haha sorry 3ala elly 9aar tawa bas taqabal hal mood swings ma3a el 7amaal,” I said.


“Allaaah y3eeeny btg3deen tabchen chthy kilyoom?” he asked.


“3ad mo kilyoom!” I said.


“Atwaqa3 3ala akher shay ana elly babchy wintay elly bit’hadeeny,” he said while chuckling.


“Hahahaa yakirhiiik,” I said.


I heard a knock on the door followed by, “3adyy adkhal?”


“Ee,” I said.


Lamees walked into the room with a juge grin on her face, “Yallaa khalastaw?”


“La ta3aleelina ba3ad 10 sneen 3ala ma tkhales Noura,” Mit3eb said.


I gave him a look.


“Ka bas baghayer bloozty,” I said.


“Ok bnan6rkum bl reception,” Lamees said before she left the room.


I quickly changed and styled my hair while Mit3eb went through one of the magazines.


7athhum li9bayan bs tshirt o ban6aron o khalisaw mo e7na sinaa..

**All the way in Kuwait:




Lulu’s POV:


Magdar afaker eb ay shay thany ghairaa…


7ata lama a7awel afaker eb shay thaany alga nafsy ga3da afaker fee mara thanya… shloon??? Madryyy!!!!


Magdar asheeela min baaaly 7awaalt wayed o kil mu7awaltyy ba2at bil fashaal…


7ady a3awer el galb.. kila afaker eb Saad o uhwa mayadry 3anyy :(


Yallaa ma3alaih..


Elmuhim.. baroo7 bait Dalol el yoom 3azma elrabe3 o malyy khilg afaker shnu albis :(


3ad minziman mo ray7a baithum.. lana maby ashofa ga3da a7awel ansa o etha shftaa mara7 agdar ansa… enshalla ma ashofa elyoom


After a while of thinking and forming a mountain of clothes on my bed I decided I’d wear a black long sleeveless tail blouse with leather leggings.


I curled my hair, wore my jewellery and hit the road.


.



I spent a really good time with the girls..


9ij minziman mo shayfaat’hum o walhanaa 3alaihum!!


Bs akhyas shay bil mawthoo3 eny mashift Saad… shway ta7asaft enna da3ait eny ma ashofa..


La bas a7san a7san 3ashan ansaa..


Way ma9adeg I’m back to thinking about him!


I tried for the 947948 time to get him out of my mind as I made my way to my car.


I got out my keys, unlocked my car and opened the door..


Just as I was about to get in the car,


“Lulu!” I head someone call.


I turned around to see Saad standing behind the houses’ entrance peeking through the door.


He gestured for me to come.


I stared at him blankly, and then pointed at myself “ana?” I mouthed.


“Eee,” he said with a smile.


I froze.. aroo7 wela ma aroo7!!


“Ok ana na6rich hnyy meta ma qarartay tyeen 7ayach allah..” he said with a chuckle.


He disappeared into the garden.


Abyy arooo7 bs a7is 3aaib!!!


Bs aby aroo7!!!


Just as my heart and my mind were having their usual debate.. I felt my leg taking me to exactly where Saad was standing.


My heart started beating faster when I stood in front of him.


His smile, was so welcoming.. it removed some of the fear that nestled my heart.


“Esalamu 3alaikum,” he greeted.


“Wa3alaikum esalam…” I whispered.


“Shlonich?” he asked.


“Bkhair el7imdla..” I said.


“E9ara7a maby a6awel 3alaich bs aby agoolich shaghla wa7da..” he said.


“Tifathal,” I said while my heart was still beating really fast.


“Cham raqam ukhooch Fawaz? Aby tharoory eb shaghla o minziman mo shayfa o ma3indy raqma..” he said.


I stared at him as my mouth formed a large “O”.


MU MIN 9IJAAA!!!


Yaby raqam ukhoooy??


O ana malat 3alaay khayfaa o galby shway o yoogaf 3abaly begol shay thanyy..


Magool ella maaaalat!!




**Sorry ya jema3a bs mith6ara akhith another long break lana tawny mkhalsa midterms o babdy finals… bear with me please o enshallah awal ma akhales exams I will start posting daily.. Hope you enjoyed<3