Rolling the window down and smoking felt incomplete now that it’s not softly escorted by her voice coming through his ear piece, “how can a person so small seal that much of space in my life, a space I never knew existed” he wondered. 

“ana mo netfa, ent elnetfa!” he remembered her objecting through her giggles, and the smile that followed that thought was soon replaced with his sadly bewildered face, he knew it was the right thing to do, they both knew it was the right thing to do, it was a beautiful thing that they had but no one could understand it and it wasn’t the right time for it, and the right time might never come. They were emotional, affectionate and loving, it wouldn’t have made sense for them not to fall in love, even if it was against all logic. 

He wanted to call her, just to hear her voice; he looked at the digital clock in front of him. “She is probably sleeping now” He convinced himself trying to stop the temptations of hearing her sweet sleepy hello from crawling deeper into his rational self. 

He took a look at her status “Is she writing a message? Why now? Can she hear my thoughts?!” he kept checking his phone restlessly, trying hard not to lose concentration on the road, but his phone didn’t make a sound or a flash. He parked his car, and rested his head on the steering wheel keeping his eyes on the phone he placed in the cup holder, but her status was not showing she is writing a message anymore “Did she stop typing? Or is there something wrong with the network? Why is she doing this to me? Oh, God.. Why am I waiting for a message, I’m a man I can’t let feelings get to me, I can’t let her get to me” he picked up his phone typed less than 12 characters and switched it off “I did the right thing” he repeated over and over again as he made his way in the house, left his keys on the console and dropped his weight on the red couch. “I’m doing the right thing” he confirmed to himself one more time before he finally fell asleep.   

It was one of those days, when a person would feel obliged to be optimistic, sunny with a coo l breeze, the beautiful soon-to-be-winter weather on the Island. “I’m sorry!” she said with a shy smile, picking up her coffee, which has been waiting on the counter for more than 5 minutes.

“Could you not be sorry for once” Nayla rolled her eyes.

“He called my order 3 times, if you weren’t yep yapping I would have heard him and finished drinking it by now!!”  She teased her, but Nayla only rolled her eyes again and continued “So I decided I’m so over him, he is too confused about what he wants, he has no plans for the future and I can’t live like that. I need structure, you know!” before taking a bite of her cheese cake.

“Said the unemployed girl, with very weird ambitions” she joked as she took another sip of her coffee and flipped through her BAZAAR.

“Moving on..” Nayla ignored her friends comment “I just think maybe I’m immune to that fairytale love, I’m a modern women with practical love, yea?”

“You are pretty modern” she nodded in agreement still flipping through the pages “But to be honest, I can’t help you in the department of love.. food! I know” pointing at her almost empty plate “books! Maybe.. clothes! Not so much” tapped her finger on one of the Models in the magazine “but love is something I never mastered. I think I can safely say I’m as clueless as a virgin when it comes to love and relationships” she raised her eyebrows with a gimmicky smile.

“A virgin won’t stay a virgin if she was clueless!! And are you saying you’re not lovesick at the moment? Because if you are not then you need to explain how could you inhale that piece of cake when I only took 2 bites of mine!!” and as soon as Nayla finished those words her friend felt nauseous.

She remembered him moaning over a piece of cake and raving about a cupcake, he liked his cakes as much as he liked his burgers and as much as he loved his pizzas, and that’s why she couldn’t finish a meal ever sense, she choked on every bite she had with him on her mind, she hated that they no longer can discuss meals, that she might never hear him order his weird sandwiches on his way back home from football, or his excitement whenever he grilled a steak. 

“It will be fine!” Nayla said with an uplifting tone, feeling responsible for the sudden change on her friends face.

“Of course! I’m Fine!” she blurted the first lie with a fake smile plastered on her face “I was just thinking what to do later” the second lie “he didn’t even cross my mind today!” the biggest lie. 

That was her life at the moment, a series of denial, lies and pretending. Pretending to be fine, pretending not to be hurt, pretending to be strong, and pretending not to miss him.

- “Why do we feel like hugging people when we are tiered?”